


Scars of Sweet Paradise

by wrackwonder



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Conversations, F/F, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-10
Updated: 2019-02-09
Packaged: 2019-07-29 01:50:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 47,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16254224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wrackwonder/pseuds/wrackwonder
Summary: Finding Waverly is only the beginning when there is so much unsaid and so much that needs to be said. A post season 3 fic.





	1. Chapter 1

The seasons were changing. Nicole could feel it in the air. A cool, unrelenting breeze seeped into her boots and her jacket and her wool gloves. She shivered slightly, but didn’t move from her spot near the fire, the fire she had built hours before. There was nothing else to do in the strange stillness of the forest, nothing else to do but sit and feed the fire and brood.

 

“I should be there,” she said out loud, looking up at Randly Nedley who was equally bundled across from her. He shook himself awake, snorting softly, and frowned.

 

“Can’t disagree with you.”

 

“This is insane. It’s been hours and it’s _my_ ring!” Nicole sprung up, facing the cave and its darkness.

 

Wynonna and Jeremy had disappeared at daybreak, but the sun had set hours before and Nicole was still waiting, still on the outside, still wishing she were included in the heroics taking place wherever the hell Wynonna was.

 

“But you know the rules, Nicole,” Nedley said, a raised eyebrow the only sign he felt any emotion at all, “we are the watchers, they are the doers.”

 

“No offence, Sheriff, but that’s bullshit.”

 

“Language!” Nedley smirked and it was enough to bring Nicole back to her seat on the log by the fire. She gazed darkly at the flames, pouting, wondering how it always came down to this.

 

“They’re going to bring Waverly home, Nicole. And we’re going to be here when they do.”

 

Nedley had a way of simplifying the complex. He chose his words carefully and his concise, calm voice made Nicole exhale. She knew he was right. She knew that wandering into an enchanted cave as a mortal was not the greatest idea, but every cell in her body was telling her to do it anyways, to take the risk, to do anything, to risk _everything_ if it meant getting Waverly back.

 

“Listen, there’s a reason you end up in the hospital every six weeks. Get yourself in order, Nicole. She’s going to need you.”

 

The old man was right. But it didn’t stop the ache in Nicole’s chest. It didn’t stop the crippling anticipation.

 

*Six months ago*

 

_The world smelled familiar when Nicole opened her eyes. She knew that she was lying down, flat on her back. She knew that she was covered in sweat and dried blood. And she also knew that she was far from Purgatory._

_She raised herself on her elbows, looking from left to right, trying to remember the seconds before…where had she been? Where was she now?_

_The house was familiar, she knew she was lying on the lawn of her childhood home, but she had no clue how she had transported here. There had been a woman, tall and strong….and Jeremy and Robin….but then nothing, just…nothing, until she opened her eyes and found herself lying in the grass so far from the Ghost River Triangle._

_She stood, brushing herself off, relieved that she was at least still clothed in the uniform of Purgatory’s finest. Purgatory was her town, Purgatory meant Waverly, and this place, the place where she’d been born, it meant nothing. She wanted to leave._

_But her phone was gone, as was her wallet. With no ID, no passport, no driver’s license, Nicole wandered briefly through the streets. Her parents had long since moved away, not that she had any desire to track them down.. Her mother gave birth on the living room floor, a doula dutifully at her side, because hospitals were owned by the government and their medicines were poison, or so her father used to say. Nicole had been born with her umbilical cord twisted around her neck. It was her first close encounter with death. It would not be her last._

_People glanced at her strangely as she wandered away from her suburban neighbourhood towards the beach. It was cold, she knew the water would be frigid, but she wanted to look at the ocean, at the Pacific. It had been so long._

_When she reached the water, when she dragged her tired feet through the sand, she fell on her knees in the surf and ignored the freezing waves lapping at her thighs._

_Because something was wrong. Something was so wrong. And Waverly wasn’t with her._

_The ring in Nicole’s pocket was cold, a shard of ice against her chest._

_When she finally found the strength to move, when her pathetic, straggled appearance was enough to convince a local drug store to let her use the phone, she dialled the one number she knew would never fail her._

_“Sheriff,” she breathed into the phone, “I need help.”_

~*~

 

The woods were too silent, even for the late hour. There was no rustle of little paws or mournful howls from the wolves that lived in the mountains. It was as if the world had stilled, as if every creature was waiting for whatever it was that could happen. As if the universe knew that maybe, just maybe, an angel would fall back to earth. Back home. And it all made Nicole’s skin crawl.

 

Nedley appeared to be sleeping, so Nicole tossed another log on the fire and nestled further into her coat. She glanced down at her sleeve and, as was now her habit, rolled it up, pushing her flannel shirt and jacket aside to reveal the ink on her pale wrist.

 

She traced the now-familiar outline, finding comfort in its permanence, and tried to count each exhale from her lungs. The air stung her exposed skin, but she didn’t dare cover it because the tattoo on her arm was a comfort. It made her heart beat steadier. She hoped Waverly would understand.

 

If she ever saw Waverly again…

 

~*~

 

_It started small._

_Nicole couldn’t wear Julian’s ring. It was prone to strange temperature fluctuations, although since Waverly’s disappearance, the stone had gone dull and grey. It fit her poorly and it was cumbersome and it seemed somehow pregnant with meaning and power and questions that Nicole wasn’t ready to answer. She kept the ring in her pocket, but she wanted more, a physical reminder of Waverly._

_So she raided Waverly’s jewelry drawer._

_She settled on a ring, another ring, something Waverly wore casually when she felt like it, small and gold and completely unremarkable. But Nicole liked to think of it on Waverly’s animated fingers and she could remember Waverly wearing it the first time they’d kissed, so Nicole threaded it through a gold chain and wore it everyday, around her neck._

_Wynonna took to wearing one of Waverly’s necklaces too. And then another ring. Even Jeremy started sporting a dainty silver charm bracelet around his wrist. They all desperately wanted Waverly with them, a constant reminder as they researched and searched and eschewed sleep in favour of their quest._

_And then Nicole almost lost the necklace._

_She panicked, searching her car and her home, feeling her heart race uncontrollably because losing the necklace somehow meant losing Waverly again and she couldn’t live with that. The necklace was a talisman, it was a sign, and without it, Waverly was gone and she was never coming back. So when Nicole showed up to the Homestead in tears, Wynonna let her in, as she always did. And when Wynonna presented the lost necklace, tucked safely in her pocket since she’d found it on the floor of Waverly’s bedroom, Nicole knew what she had to do._

_The next day Nicole made an appointment._

_The artist asked if she’d prefer something from the binder of flash images set on the counter. But Nicole pulled out her phone and showed the woman with a trendy side-cut and friendly eyes exactly what she was looking for. She didn’t want something pre-made. She wanted Waverly. Forever._

_That night, when she returned to the Homestead, Wynonna took one look at Nicole’s bandaged arm and pushed Purgatory’s sheriff hard against the wall._

_“What the fuck did you do? We talked about this, Haught. No giving up. Not on her!”_

_“Wynonna, it’s not…”_

_“Seriously? What is she going to say when she gets back?”_

_“Earp,” Nicole pushed Wynonna’s shoulders, forcing the woman to take a step back._

_“I didn’t hurt myself. It’s not what you think.”_

_Wynonna looked unconvinced, but raised an eyebrow in challenge at Nicole’s arm._

_“Don’t get weird, okay? I mean, weirder…” Nicole said, carefully removing the wrappings from her wrist and forearm._

_Angel wings marked Nicole’s pale skin. Permanent, forever, eternal, angel wings. Wynonna’s eyes looked like glass, shimmering with unshed tears._

_“Like the ones in her room?” Wynonna asked, curving her fingers around Nicole’s wrist._

_“Exactly.”_

_“Hardcore.”_

_“Yeah.”_

_They didn’t discuss it again._

 

~*~  

 

The tattoo had settled into her skin perfectly, its lines still crisp and delicate. She raised her arm to her mouth and pressed her lips over the ink.

 

_We’re coming for you, Baby. Hold on. Just a little longer_.

 

A log on the fire cracked and Nedley stirred, burrowing deeper into his jacket and scarf. Seconds later the alarm on his phone beeped, indicating that it was three in the morning. Nicole yawned.

 

“The devil’s hour,” Nedley mumbled and Nicole’s entire body froze.

 

“What did you…”

 

She couldn’t finish her thought as the ground started shaking. It was a low rumble, barely perceptible, and then the earth itself seemed to stretch and sigh and toss Nicole from her perch on the log. The flames of their bonfire died in an instant, extinguished by an unseen wind, and it was all Nicole could do to brace herself against the ground, her cheek flat against the cold earth, as rocks and grass and branches scattered over her and Nedley.

 

Hail fell from the sky, pelting Nicole’s back and legs and she cried out in pain and fear. She could hear Nedley too, yelping in shock, and then a sound unlike any sound on earth resounded in the woods, bouncing and repeating and echoing off the trees and the mountains. A trumpet blast, pure and horrible, deafening in its volume, and Nicole could _feel_ it in the earth, she could feel its vibrations, as she raised her hands to her ears and screamed.

 

When the light came, the trumpet sounded once more, and then again, seven blasts of sound that pushed Nicole to the forest floor. She could taste blood, she could feel it trickling down from her nose into her mouth, but the light…

 

Fire burst from the mouth of the cave, cloaking everything in smoke and ash and Nicole’s eyes burned, she could hear Nedley yell again, and the light…the flashes of orange and amber forced her to turn away, to shield her face from the haze and the noise, except she could hear something new, something familiar, she could hear _screams_ …

 

_Wynonna_

 

Wynonna’s voice carried over the cries of the earth. Her voice shaped around a name, and Nicole forced her eyes open, she forced herself up on all fours, willing her body to hold on, willing herself to stay conscious.

 

And then the fire was gone. And Nicole swayed on her knees at its absence.

 

Because in the mouth of the cave where the fire had been appeared four people in tableaux.

 

Doc rested on his knees. His once trimmed moustache had given way to a full beard. Beside him, at his shoulder, Jeremy stood, motionless, eyes wide and frightened. Wynonna knelt close by, on the other side, her mouth still whispering the name. _That_ name.

 

And in Doc’s arms lay Waverly.


	2. Chapter 2

_People returned to the Ghost River Triangle on foot. There were a few cars on the road, but for the most part, Nicole weaved her rental truck between small groups of tired, confused, citizens. As she neared Purgatory, she began to recognize the faces and she slowed her vehicle, checking in on her people._

_“Woke up on the border…”_

_“Back in my hometown…”_

_“All the way up North…”_

_Everyone she spoke to shared the same story. One second they’d been at home or at work and the next they were outside of the Ghost River Triangle. For those born in the Triangle, they awoke on the border. For those born elsewhere, they awoke outside hospitals and orphanages and childhood homes – just like Nicole. They all returned to a place of origin and now they were all trying to get back home._

_The closer Nicole drove to Purgatory, the more faces she started to recognize. Her pick-up truck quickly filled with the elderly and the young, the town’s librarian and even its newest citizen, a tiny baby who’d been miraculously found in a ditch. Nicole gave her jacket to the young woman holding the infant, and then kept driving, determined to make it back before sunset._

_She saw Chrissy Nedley stumbling near the town sign and slowed the truck to a stop._

_“Chrissy?”_

_“Officer…I mean, Sheriff Haught? Thank God!”_

_Chrissy looked confused. She was dressed in flannel pants and a tank top, as if she’d wandered down the highway in her pyjamas._

_“I was in my dorm sleeping and then I was just outside,” Chrissy said, gesturing widely. Nicole nodded. It was the same story with everyone else._

_“Get in,” Nicole said, “I’ll take you to your dad.”_

_Once Chrissy was safely in the front seat, Nicole pointed the car towards town and didn’t look back. She needed to find Waverly even though a part of her knew that it would be a difficult task. Her first job was to get her citizens to safety and then…and then…_

_Nicole swallowed hard and kept her eyes focused on the road._

~*~

 

“Waverly!” Wynonna’s voice was uncharacteristically shrill and she fluttered around Waverly, leaning over Doc to touch her sister’s face.

 

Jeremy started calling “Waverly,” too and both Wynonna and Jeremy didn’t seem to know what to do with their hands, they brushed fingers through Waverly’s hair and squeezed Doc’s shoulder and generally were all sound and fear and awe.

 

Nicole swayed on her feet, eyes focused on her girlfriend, but there was too much activity to really _see_ Waverly, to get very close because Wynonna was on her knees, trying to take Waverly’s hands and Jeremy was waving his arms in the air and Nicole couldn’t concentrate, she could barely stand.

 

“Let her through,” Nedley’s voice broke through the excited exclamations and Wynonna and Jeremy both looked up for the first time and turned their heads. Doc raised his head too and it was only then that Nicole could see the white hair at his temples and through his beard. He looked tired, he eyes looked old, but he nodded once at Nicole. It was the only movement he had made.

 

Nicole took one step forward and then another. And then she knelt on the ground in front of Doc and looked down at the woman in his arms. At first it seemed that Waverly was unconscious, but soon it became apparent that she was very much awake. Her clothes were ragged, Nicole didn’t recognize the oversize shirt tied around her torso and guessed it was Doc’s. Waverly was barefoot and her pants cut off at the knees and she was dirty and shaking slightly. Her eyes blinked steadily, but she gave no indication that she was aware of where she was or who was with her. Nicole was almost too scared to speak.

 

“She cannot see,” Doc said and the sound of his gruff voice startled all of them.

 

“It was the light? Super bright, super, super bright, like sun exploding bright,” Jeremy nodded and Wynonna’s shook her head and gripped Waverly’s hands.

 

“We’ll fix it, Baby Girl, we’re on it.”

 

But Waverly’s face didn’t change. Nicole took a deep breath and then another, trying to take it all in, trying to think above the constant questions from Wynonna and Jeremy. Wynonna held both of Waverly’s hands and Nicole watched as Waverly’s thumbs traced her sister’s fingers.

 

“Waverly?” Nicole’s voice was so light, light and ragged from her earlier screams, but it was enough to silence the group. They all seemed to sense the gravity of the situation, they all knew the next moment was important and held in a collective breath.

 

Waverly let go of Wynonna’s left hand and slowly raised her own arm. She didn’t turn her face, her expression did not change, but her left hand continued its journey. Waverly’s fingers brushed Nicole’s chin and then, as if the feel of Nicole’s face was a map, Waverly’s hand continued drifting up, along Nicole’s cheek and then into her hair. It stopped at the back of Nicole’s head, and Nicole could feel Waverly’s fingers playing with the soft hairs at the back of her neck.

 

Waverly’s hands always seemed to find the back of Nicole’s head. When they kissed. When they made love. At the end of a long day in greeting. At the rise of the sun in fond departure. And to feel it again after six months, to feel Waverly’s fingers toying with the short strands at the base of her skull…Nicole released a sob.

 

Waverly curled her fingers around the base of Nicole’s skull and held on tightly. It was not a painful touch. It was anchoring. Somehow Nicole understood that Waverly had reached for her, unseeing, unspeaking, but feeling her way back to the present, back from wherever she had been. And it was only then, in that second, with Waverly’s hand so solidly holding her head that Nicole let herself fully accept that Waverly had come home. That Waverly _was_ home.

 

She was home.

 

~*~

 

_Wynonna’s truck was parked outside of Shorty’s and Nicole didn’t even bother properly parking her rental. She left it in the middle of the street, ignoring the confused passersby who were clearly returning to Purgatory in various states of undress and fear and relief._

_“Waverly!” Nicole pushed through the doors and looked around the abandoned bar. It seemed to be empty, but she knew better. She also knew that calling for Waverly was likely futile, but just once she hoped that her gut was wrong._

_“Waves?”_

_There was a bottle of whiskey on the bar and Nicole picked it up and took a swig. The burn felt good down her throat._

_“Haught! Thank God!”_

_Wynonna appeared from the cellar, wide-eyed and wild-haired, and Nicole took another drink._

_“Where’s Waverly?”_

_“Okay, so…that’s an extremely complicated question,” Wynonna said, grabbing the bottle from Nicole’s hands._

_“What do you mean? Where is she?”_

_“In the garden? I think?”_

_Wynonna’s eyes were too wide, she almost seemed manic, full of energy, with a grin that didn’t make any sense._

_“In the garden?”_

_“I think. I mean, there was a weird tree thing and a forcefield, but Doc is in there with her and we’re going to get them back, so it’s fine. It’s okay…”_

_“Stop saying that!” Nicole was shaking. She could feel her hands tremble. Nothing Wynonna said made any sense._

_“Stop saying what?”_

_“It’s fine? Waverly is in the freaking Garden of Eden?”_

_“Maybe not Eden?”_

_“Wynonna!”_

_“Listen, Nicole, we’re going to get them back,”_

_Wynonna nodded and again, Nicole couldn’t make sense of the smile on Wynonna’s face and the fear in Wynonna’s eyes._

_She sank into a chair and buried her face in her hands and tried to drown out Wynonna’s increasingly hysterical manta._

_It’s okay. It’s fine. We’re going to get them back. It’s okay. It’s fine. We’re going to get them back. It’s okay. It’s fine. We’re going to get them back. It’s okay. It’s fine._

_It’s okay._

~*~

 

“She needs a hospital,” Nicole suddenly understood with clarity that they needed to leave. It was the middle of the night, they were crouched outside of a cave that had just spewed fire, and Waverly was blind, her normally green-hazel eyes looked faded, as if a film had set in over the iris.

 

The fingers in Nicole’s hair squeezed.

 

“We can’t, how do we explain…this?” Wynonna gestured with her free hand. At Waverly’s body, at Doc, at a sword on the ground, at Jeremy’s singed eyebrows.

 

“There is also the matter of her wounds,” Doc turned to Wynonna and Jeremy nodded furiously.

 

“Yeah, that’s…wow,” Jeremy said.

 

“Totally freaking wow,” Wynonna looked at her sister’s face and swallowed hard.

 

Nicole was totally lost. Waverly’s wounds? Waverly was covered in scratches. Her feet were bare and bloody. But it didn’t appear that there was anything more than superficial cuts and scrapes.

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

“My back.”

 

Waverly voice shocked all of them into silence. Her voice was low, but definitely Waverly’s and Nicole sniffled again.

 

“Hey, Baby Girl! Hi!”

 

“Waves! You can talk!”

 

“May I show them, Little Darlin’?”

 

Nicole winced. There were too many voices. She just wanted to hear Waverly. It was selfish, she knew it was selfish because Wynonna was Waverly’s sister and Doc was Waverly’s guardian, apparently, but in this moment, Nicole wanted to grab Waverly from Doc’s arms and cradle her. Instead, Nedley took a step closer and squeezed Nicole’s shoulder. The old man stayed quiet and his silent support gave Nicole the strength not to scream.

 

Waverly nodded and Doc set her down on the ground, never letting her go. Once she was seated, he placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, careful not to jostle her iron grip on Nicole’s head.

 

The ragged shirt Waverly wore gapped widely at the back. It had torn at the collar, falling open to reveal Waverly’s shoulder blades. And that’s when Nicole understood what everyone was talking about. Because there were two diagonal gashes on either side of Waverly’s back. They were not bleeding, though the skin was drenched in dried blood. They were not open. But they were red and angry and swollen and _there_.

 

“I know a doctor that does house calls for…this kind of thing,” Nedley had removed his toque and held it closely to his chest. His hand didn’t move from Nicole’s shoulder and she appreciated its centering weight.

 

“Okay, we take her home,” Wynonna said. She pressed a kiss to Waverly’s forehead and then stood up, taking charge.

 

“Doc, can you carry her?”

 

“Yes, ma’am,” he said, scooping Waverly into his arms once more.

 

“I’m coming with you!” Jeremy called.

 

And then Doc stood and Waverly’s hand fell from Nicole’s hair.

 

“Nedley, call your guy!” Wynonna yelled, her voice fading as she walked away from the campsite, but Randy Nedley did not move from his position next to Nicole who was still kneeling on her knees, on the ground, arms loosely at her side, palms up.

 

Wynonna and Jeremy led Doc to the truck. Nicole could hear them taking Waverly away. She could hear their plans and she could hear the screech of tires and then she could hear the silence.

 

Nedley sighed deeply. Nicole made no sound. Because she was alone in the dark again.

 

And the back of her head felt so cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! As always, your comments mean the world to me so if you have a brief second, please let me know your thoughts! 
> 
> Let's chat on twitter: @wrackwonder


	3. Chapter 3

Despite Nedley’s steady driving, they arrived at the homestead half an hour after Wynonna. Nedley had called his contact from the car, and judging by the unfamiliar truck in the front yard, the doctor was there too. Nicole frowned at the sight, not because she didn’t want Waverly to see a doctor, but because once again, she was late, she was outside when Waverly was _inside_.

 

And Waverly was her…girlfriend? More than her girlfriend? They were supposed to be a team, but it had been six months, a long six months, and now all the fantasies Nicole had used to fuel herself through the pain were all fading. Because of course Wynonna would take over. Of course Waverly would go with her. Of course Jeremy would be involved because Jeremy was a Jedi or special in a way that Nicole was not. It was selfish and exhausting and Nicole chided herself because Waverly was hurt and her own feelings didn’t matter. At least not in this moment.

 

But she wanted to walk into the Homestead and hear Waverly call for her and feel Waverly reach for her. She wanted to know that she was needed. It was human, painfully human, and Nicole buried it as she waved goodbye to Nedley, who dropped her off and headed back to town.

 

The kitchen was buzzing with activity when Nicole stepped inside. She glanced around quickly, kicking off her snowy boots and shedding her coat before trying to make sense of what she was looking at.

 

Waverly was at the kitchen table. Still blinking slowly. Still nearly silent. Still wearing rags. Doc was nowhere to be seen, but Nicole could hear the shower running so she guessed that he was washing away six months worth of Eden dirt or heaven dust or whatever it was that caked his beard and his skin and his clothes.

 

There was an old woman in the centre of the noise, so old that she was stooped and wrinkled, her mouth curling in on itself. But when she turned, Nicole nearly gasped at the sight of the bluest eyes she’d ever seen, and they smiled at her in recognition.

 

“So is she blind or what?” Wynonna had a hand on Waverly’s shoulder, protective, as if the wrong answer to her question may cause a brawl in the kitchen. Nicole felt much the same way.

 

“Wynonna! Sensitivity!” Jeremy crouched next to the old doctor, obviously trying to get a look at Waverly’s damaged eyes too. At some point Robin had showed up and he seemed busy with his iPhone, playing what was apparently “soothing jazz to lighten the mood,” but Nicole found the whole thing dizzying.

 

“What? We need to know who to blow to get her a cure.” Wynonna smacked Jeremy’s shoulder.

 

“Excuse you, I blow exclusively these days!”

 

“Awww, thanks, Jer Bear!” Robin looked up from his self-appointed DJ job and smiled.

 

“ _máópiit_ _!_ ” The old woman snapped her fingers and pointed towards Robin. He quickly silenced the music.

 

“You,” she said, pointing at Nicole, “come here.”

 

Nicole obeyed, willingly offering her wrist to the woman. A small, weathered hand grabbed her with surprising strength and pulled her closer to the table.

 

“You,” this time the woman pointed at Wynonna, “stay as you are.”

 

Jeremy took a step back, which left Wynonna and Nicole in a small circle with Waverly and the doctor.

 

“Listen, Dr. Murray…”

 

“This house is all noise,” Dr. Murray didn’t look away from Waverly’s face, but shook her head in obvious disapproval.

 

“Her eyes?” Nicole asked, understanding Wynonna’s persistence. She too wanted to know if Waverly’s blindness was permanent.

 

“How do you think in here?” Dr. Murray finally looked up and found Nicole’s gaze. Nicole smirked and shrugged.

 

“I rarely do,” Nicole said. “Will she see again, Dr.?”

 

“The vision will come back, if she wants it to come back.”

 

“What the hell does that mean?” Wynonna snapped. They had all been awake for over 24 hours. They had all seen inexplicable things. Wynonna obviously didn’t have the patience for riddles.

 

“I’m sitting right here,” Waverly whispered and for the second time that day, it stunned them all into silence.

 

“Do you know what I speak of?” Dr. Murray gently patted Waverly’s cheek with one hand, but kept a firm grip on Nicole’s wrist with the other.

 

“I do,” Waverly said.

 

“Mmhmm. Now let’s see the other. Turn around.”

 

Dr. Murray pulled Nicole with her as she circled the chair, bumping Wynonna out of the way.

 

“Hold her hair,” Dr. Murray instructed and Wynonna swallowed whatever comment she was about to make and did as she was told. Nicole was always struck by how gentle Wynonna was with Waverly. She watched as the former Earp heir gathered Waverly’s long, tangled hair and lifted it from her back.

 

“Hold her shirt,” Dr. Murray finally released Nicole’s arm and made sure that Nicole was standing next to Waverly. The doctor had positioned the three of them so that Waverly sat directly in the middle with Wynonna on one side and Nicole on the other. She seemed to do so purposefully, as if she was creating a tableaux. Nicole was just grateful to be _in_ the circle, at all.

 

“I’m just going to pull down your shirt a little, is that okay, Waves?”

 

Waverly nodded. The t-shirt was even thinner to the touch than it looked. Nicole knew that if she pulled, it would unravel, so she carefully held it down, letting Dr. Murray see Waverly’s shoulder blades. Jeremy and Robin had stepped out to give Waverly some privacy and Doc, who had quietly reappeared in a pair of jeans and a red shirt he’d left with Wynonna, glanced down, hovering in the corner with his back to the scene.

 

Dr. Murray ran an arthritic finger over one of the wounds in Waverly’s back. It made Waverly wince, the first sign of any emotion on her face since she’d appeared at the cave, and both Nicole and Wynonna quickly stepped closer.

 

“No infection. Not open. She’ll need to adapt. Keep them clean, no bandage, the air is good.”

 

“Adapt? But…” Wynonna began, before Dr. Murray shook her head.

 

“Enough. She needs sleep. And a bath. And some quiet, if you’re capable of it,” Dr. Murray _tsk tsk’d_ and then stood back, laying one hand on Nicole’s shoulder and the other on Wynonna’s arm.

 

“Together,” she said and then turned to leave.

 

Nicole and Wynonna looked at each other, eyebrows raised, but they also sensed that Nedley’s friend was much more than an elderly doctor. Purgatory was old, much older than any known records, and Dr. Murray seemed to come from… _elsewhere_. If she said _together_ , they were going to listen.

 

“Are you okay getting home?” Nicole asked, seeing Dr. Murray to the door. The old woman paused on the threshold of the house and cupped Nicole’s face with both hands. Her palms were warm and so soft, like polished wood washed ashore.

 

“The sky and the earth,” she said, “older than time itself.”

 

And then she let go of Nicole’s face and hurried out the door, a small, crouched figure in an over-sized parka and a buckskin blanket. Nicole blinked and shook herself out of whatever daze Dr. Murray’s words created. The sun was just rising over the mountain peaks when Nicole returned to the kitchen and nodded at Wynonna.

 

It was time to get Waverly to bed.

 

~*~

 

“Did Dr. Murray bring this?” Nicole gestured to the small stash of hospital supplies sitting in a pile next to the stairs.

 

“She did.” Doc looked over the collection and then reached for a plastic chair, specially designed for the shower.

 

“You know what? It’s best if I don’t know.”

 

The amount of illegal activity that Nicole ignored on behalf of the Earps was astounding, but there was no way she was arresting Nedely’s old friend for theft – even if it was quite obvious that Dr. Murray had robbed a hospital recently.

 

Doc carried the chair upstairs and Nicole turned to where Waverly still sat at the kitchen table. Jeremy and Robin sat next to her, peppering her with the latest town gossip. Waverly smiled at them, but the expression did not reach her eyes. She looked tired and so small. Nicole wanted to shoo everyone away, but Wynonna appeared by her side and pulled her into the living room.

 

“This is yours,” Wynonna said, extending her hand. Julian’s ring sat in her palm, charred and blackened, but still very recognizable.

 

“I hate this thing.”

 

“Still. Not mine to keep.”

 

Nicole sighed, but quickly pocketed the ring, hoping it wouldn’t burn her or freeze her. She’d carried it with her for so long and even though it felt like a cursed object, it was an odd comfort to have its weight in her pocket once again.

 

“Wynonna?”

 

Doc appeared on the stairs again and Wynonna’s eyes softened.

 

“Hey there, stranger,” Wynonna said.

 

“May we talk?”

 

The white in Doc’s beard and the exhaustion in his eyes made Nicole all the more curious about where he had been – where Waverly had been – for the past six months. She had so many questions, but Doc only had eyes for Wynonna who appeared to be squirming where she stood.

 

“Waverly needs me,” Wynonna pointed her thumb towards the kitchen.

 

“I can do it,” Nicole tried to swallow down the little hope she felt.

 

“Wynonna,” Doc spoke again, “the curse is over. We really must speak.”

 

Jeremy and Robin grew silent and the whole Homestead seemed to pause and strain to listen because the _unspoken_ in Doc’s words, in Wynonna’s eyes, in the past six months, was that the curse was over, which meant…

 

“Okay,” Wynonna said, “okay. Nicole, you got this?”

 

“You know I do.”

 

“I won’t be long.”

 

“I shall wait for you in the barn,” Doc said, dropping his hat on his head. “Sheriff Haught, it is mighty good to see your face.”

 

The yearning in Doc’s eyes confused Nicole. She still felt uneasy around him, but she’d missed him too. And he’d obviously helped Waverly. And he was Alice’s dad...

 

“It’s good to see you too, Doc,” Nicole raised the corners of her lips. She noted Waverly smiling at the sound of the exchange. Once Doc walked out the door, however, Nicole turned back to Wynonna.

 

“Is he still a…ya know?” Nicole pointed to her teeth and made a biting motion.

 

“Honestly? I don’t know? I invited him in because we needed his help getting Waves inside, but…he hasn’t tried to kill any of us?” Wynonna fidgeted with her hands and looked at the door Doc had just closed.

 

“Hey,” Nicole placed one hand over Wynonna’s, “six months is a long time. Go talk to your guy.”

 

“Take care of our girl?”

 

“Always.”

 

~*~

 

“Okay, one more step, and…perfect, baby.”

 

Nicole carefully held Waverly around the waist as they made their way up the stairs. Jeremy and Robin had left moments before and the Homestead was uncharacteristically quiet. It took some time helping Waverly to the bathroom, but Nicole luxuriated in the privacy and how good it felt to have Waverly close by again.

 

Waverly smelled different. Her clothes and her hair and her skin smelled like fire and sweat, but Nicole didn’t care. Waverly was back and Waverly’s hand was in hers and they were together.

 

“Is it just us?” Waverly stood in the middle of the small bathroom, head tilted to the side, as if trying to hear any footsteps in the house.

 

“Yes, ma’am,” Nicole said, locking the bathroom door and exhaling. Doc had left the special chair in the middle of the bathtub, so Nicole leaned over to turn on the faucet.

 

She felt a hand on her shoulder, a curious, questioning hand, and turned to see Waverly reaching for her.

 

“Hey, baby,” Nicole said, gathering her girlfriend in her arms. Waverly pressed her nose to the hollow of Nicole’s throat and inhaled.

 

“Vanilla dipped doughnuts.”

 

“Waverly…”

 

“Hi.”

 

“Hey.”

 

There were so many words that Nicole wanted to say. Six months worth of words. Words that she had collected and turned over and explored and held in every corner of her soul. But it was not the time for words, not yet, so she held Waverly to her for a moment, tricking her brain into believing that the woman in her arms was real, that Waverly had returned to her, that there would be time for words and more words and all the words later.

 

“I must smell terrible,” Waverly giggled a little and it was the first time since she’d returned that she sounded like herself.

 

Nicole smiled against Waverly’s head.

 

“You smell like you’ve been outside for a very long time.”

 

“How long?” Waverly’s voice shook. “We tried to keep track, but it was…we couldn’t. In the end.”

 

“Six months.”

 

“Six?” Waverly arms wrapped around Nicole even tighter than before. Her hands dug into the fabric of Nicole’s light blue sweater.

 

“Yeah. Six.”

 

“Oh.” There were tears in the simple word. Tears in the vowel and the consonant. And Nicole held on tighter because if she let herself really feel the _oh_ she’d be lost.

 

“Let’s get you cleaned up, okay, baby?”

 

Waverly nodded against her, obviously still reeling from the news.

 

“Can I take your shirt off?” Nicole took a step back and let Waverly gather herself. Her girlfriend nodded and raised her arms, allowing Nicole to strip the ragged fabric from Waverly’s torso.

 

“Pants now?”

 

Again, Waverly nodded and Nicole reached for the button of Waverly’s torn shorts. Waverly’s body was thin, but muscled, as if she’d spent six months running and fighting and climbing. She was sinewy and strong and Nicole felt relief because with the exception of her back and her bloody feet, Waverly appeared to be healthy.

 

“Sorry, I’m super hairy right now.”

 

Nicole couldn’t help but laugh at Waverly’s nonchalant shrug.

 

“You know me, baby, I dig it all.”

 

“Oh really?” Waverly asked, lifting one arm to reveal an oddly adorable hairy armpit. Nicole laughed again. She and Waverly were standing in the middle of the Homestead bathroom _joking around_. Waverly was naked. And Nicole could reach out and touch her. And they were talking about armpit hair.

 

“God, I’ve missed you,” Nicole said, her hands on Waverly’s hips.

 

Waverly’s expression was unreadable. Her eyes drifted somewhere over Nicole’s shoulder, but she looked like she was about to cry, her features drooping into a frown.

 

“Hey,” Nicole whispered, stroking her thumbs against Waverly’s skin, “let’s get you clean. Okay?”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Take my hand, there you go…” Nicole helped guide Waverly onto the shower seat, making sure she didn’t trip with a helpful arm around Waverly’s waist. As Waverly settled in the chair, Nicole placed a gentle hand on Waverly’s forehead, and helped tip her head back into the shower stream.

 

“So warm,” Waverly said, eyes closed in pleasure.

 

“Too hot?”

 

“No. No. It’s perfect.”

 

Nicole stood next to the tub, her sleeves rolled up as far as they could go. When she was sure Waverly's hair was wet, she reached for the shampoo sitting on the tub’s ledge. It had been six months since she’d smelled Waverly’s shampoo. Six months since she’d pressed her face into Waverly’s hair and inhaled. Six months since the pillow next to her smelled like heaven and her girl.

 

As she lathered the soap into Waverly’s hair, Nicole watched the tiny shifts in Waverly’s expression. Waverly’s eyes were closed, but her lips turned up and the smile grew and grew. Her shoulders relaxed and her arms hung loosely at her sides. She looked happy, relaxed, she looked like Waverly again and not the scared, shell-shocked woman at the cave.

 

“I missed your hands so much,” Waverly said, sighing as Nicole washed the shampoo from her long hair.

 

“I missed your voice,” Nicole confessed, carefully applying conditioner. When she was done rinsing Waverly’s hair, she helped Waverly stand, ensuring that her girlfriend was steady enough, and then lathered a facecloth with Waverly’s body-wash. Hazelnut. Fresh air. _Waverly_.

 

“I’m starting with your shoulders, okay?” Nicole asked and Waverly nodded, holding onto the chair with one hand for balance.

 

Nicole moved slowly, whispering to Waverly as she worked, telling her exactly where she was about to go. When Nicole reached Waverly’s breasts, they both swallowed hard, and when Nicole moved lower, brushing Waverly’s thighs and then in between, Waverly laughed lowly and shook her head.

 

“It’s already hard enough to stand, Nicole,” she teased and Nicole was relieved Waverly couldn’t see how hard she was blushing.

 

“Can I do your back now?”

 

At this Waverly paused, the humour and want gone from her face.

 

“Is it hideous?”

 

“What? No, baby, not at all,” Nicole moved Waverly hair over one shoulder, but didn’t move the cloth towards Waverly’s scarred shoulder blades.

 

“I’ll explain it all. I will. Just not right now.”

 

“That’s okay, Waves.”

 

“But you can touch them. You and Wynonna. No one else.”

 

Nicole nodded, unsure of how she felt to have Wynonna included in Waverly’s list. But she was also grateful that Waverly felt safe enough to let her do this, that Waverly wanted her and trusted her. Plus, Wynonna was…logically Nicole knew that making it onto a tiny list that included Wynonna was a huge honour in Earp-land. Logically she knew a lot of things…

 

It took only seconds to wash and rinse Waverly’s back, but Nicole could tell that standing was becoming difficult. Waverly’s breathing was slightly laboured and she slouched, reaching for the other side of the chair so could hold on with two hands.

 

“Okay, all done, baby,” Nicole said, but Waverly shook her head.

 

“Could you do my arms?”

 

“You mean shave them?”

 

“Yeah? And my legs?” The cheeky smile on Waverly’s face made Nicole fall in love all over again.

  
“Awww, but I like this Tarzan look?”

 

“Working for you?”

 

“Oh, yeah, baby…you have no idea,” Nicole said, helping Waverly to sit down again. She started with Waverly’s armpits, lifting one arm and then the other, dutifully applying shaving foam, before using a razor to shave Waverly smooth.

 

Their playful mood continued until Nicole moved to Waverly’s legs. Because the room was hazy with steam and they were both so tired. And because Waverly had been gone for so long and Nicole had spent days and nights terrified that she would never see Waverly again. With each careful pass of the razor over Waverly’s legs, Nicole felt more and more tears gather in her eyes. She didn’t want to cry, she didn’t want to burden Waverly with her own emotions, but she was holding Waverly, her hands were touching Waverly, every cell in her body screamed _Waverly, Waverly, Waverly_.

 

When she finished with Waverly’s legs, Nicole picked up the discarded washcloth and set to work on Waverly’s feet, scrubbing the grime and dried blood from her heels and her toes. She knelt closely to the side of the tub, holding Waverly’s feet, and when they were clean again, when she could see the familiar tanned skin and squished little pinky toes and scarred ankles from all of those ridiculous shoes, Nicole let the first tear fall.

 

She raised the foot in her hand slightly and bowed over it, pressing a soft kiss to the top of Waverly’s arch.

 

“Nicole?”

 

The tears turned into sniffling and Nicole released Waverly’s foot and shifted slightly so she could kiss a now smooth knee.

 

“Baby?”

 

And then Nicole leaned over and pressed her forehead to Waverly’s thigh, both arms coming up to rest over Waverly’s legs and she cried, ignoring the splash of the water over Waverly’s shoulders as it soaked Nicole’s shirt and her hair.

 

Nicole lay in adoration, exhausted and grateful and overwhelmed.

 

“I’m sorry,” she said, words twisted with tears, “I tried to find you sooner, we tried, I’m so sorry, Waverly, I’m sorry…”

 

“No, no, love, shhhh,” Waverly leaned over, covering Nicole with her body, holding her, and Nicole’s entire world turned dark with the shadow Waverly cast. They were sprawled on top of each other, Nicole in Waverly’s lap, Waverly over Nicole’s back, both ignoring the water and the time. Nicole calmed as Waverly’s left hand found the bottom of her sweater and snuck in, landing on the small of her back, stroking the skin in comfort and familiarity.

 

“I’m sorry,” Nicole said again, unwilling to move from her position of reverence.

 

“I’m…”

 

“Hey! Did you two drown?” Wynonna voice broke through the sanctuary of the moment and Waverly rose slightly, allowing Nicole to move. Waverly's hand shifted from Nicole’s back, but Nicole caught it in her own and held on, still kneeling on the floor on her knees.

 

“Almost done!” Waverly called back.

 

Nicole kissed Waverly’s knuckles and found herself gazing up into Waverly’s unseeing eyes.

 

“Can you stay?” Waverly asked.

 

“For as long as you want me to stay.”

 

The smile on Waverly’s face lasted long after Nicole turned off the water.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I'd love to hear your thoughts. Comments brighten my day and inspire me to keep going so...comment, please, if you can? 
> 
> The images in this chapter inspired the whole fic, so I really hope I've done it justice. 
> 
> máópiit = silence in Blackfoot.


	4. Chapter 4

“Is this weird?” Wynonna propped herself up on one elbow and looked across the bed.

 

“Probably?” Nicole said, mirroring Wynonna’s pose.

 

Waverly slept in the middle of the bed on her stomach, a loose tank-top barely covering her scarred shoulders.

 

“It’s not the first time we’ve shared this bed,” Wynonna raised her eyebrows in thought and then shrugged.

 

“Yeah, but we put pillows down the middle last time.”

 

“Okay, just don’t try and cuddle up, I know how handsy you are, Red,” Wynonna smirked and then settled in next to Waverly.

 

“Eeeeww.” Nicole gagged.

 

“I’m trying really hard not to do inappropriate things with anymore of Waverly’s people.”

 

“Good idea.”

 

Waverly shifted in her sleep and Nicole bit her lip when a sharp hip bone suddenly brushed against her stomach under the covers.

 

“Hey, Nicole?” Wynonna’s voice forced Nicole to tear her eyes away from Waverly’s face.

 

“Hmm?”

 

“We did it. She’s home.”

 

The word _we_ stuck in Nicole’s mind. How much did she really do? How much was she really a part of this rescue mission? She was in bed with the Earp sisters. Waverly’s body was curled up against her, seeking her subconsciously, but Nicole wondered for how long.

 

She said nothing as she lay her head on the pillow next to Waverly’s face. It had been days since anyone had had a moment’s peace and Nicole wasn’t about to waste the rare quiet with existential questions. Not when Waverly was so close. Not when Waverly’s hand twisted into Nicole’s t-shirt in her sleep.

 

~*~

 

_“Nicole, you can’t do this!”_

_Wynonna’s voice echoed through the trees and Nicole rolled her eyes._

_“Fuck off, Earp.”_

_“Oh, we’re talking about fucking now? Nice, Haught-Sauce, real nice.”_

_The tent was suddenly ripped open, the zipper screeching at the force of Wynonna’s yank, and Nicole groaned as the former Earp heir appeared before her._

_“You can’t sleep out in the woods, Nicole. This is a little dramatic, even for you.”_

_“Fuck. You.”_

_“Yeah? Fuck you too.”_

_Wynonna crawled into the tent on her knees, lying down next to Nicole on top of an open sleeping bag._

_“Go away, Wynonna.”_

_“No.”_

_“Wynonna…”_

_“You drinking?”_

_The question was pointed towards the half-empty bottle of whiskey in Nicole’s hand._

_“Seemed like a good idea.”_

_“Don’t be stingy, pass it here.”_

_They drank in silence for a time, Wynonna and then Nicole and then Wynonna again. When Wynonna finally lowered the bottle, she sat up, staring out of the open tent._

_“So what was the plan here?” She asked, her eyes drifting from Nicole’s face to the ring on Nicole’s left index finger._

_“I don’t know…”_

_“Hey! Drunk-head, talk to me.”_

_Nicole shifted uncomfortably in her sleeping bag, her head feeling foggy from all the whiskey._

 

_“Just thought…if I came here…with the ring…”_

_“That it would light up? The stairs would appear? The forcefield would go away? You’d Frodo this whole situation and boom! Waverly and Doc are home?”_

_“Actually, yeah?”_

_Wynonna nodded slowly, but her jaw twitched in annoyance._

_“Nicole, look at your arm.”_

_Nicole raised her left arm._

_“No, stupid, your right arm.”_

_“Oh,” Nicole said, looking at the angel wings tattooed onto her wrist._

_“You promised me, Haught. You said it wasn’t a memorial tattoo.”_

_“It’s not.”_

_“So why are you Earping it up in the woods? You’re the most responsible person I know. Honestly, it’s disgusting, but this? This isn’t you. And she would be pissed.”_

_“Don’t do that…” Nicole wanted to take a swing, but she also knew she was drunk and sad and hitting Wynonna wouldn’t help anyone. Especially Waverly._

_“You know I’m right.”_

_“It’s been five months.”_

_“And it might be five more.”_

_Nicole sat up, cradling her head in one hand. The late summer sun sat low in the sky and the woods felt too warm. The tent was claustrophobic. She suddenly wanted to leave._

_“I miss her,” Nicole said._

_“Life is shit without her.”_

_“Yeah. It’s shit, Wynonna.”_

_Wynonna swung an arm around Nicole’s shoulders and squeezed. They sat quietly for a moment, watching the breeze rustle the trees. And then Wynonna crawled out of the tent and extended her hand through the entrance._

_“Let’s go, Nicole. She’s waiting for us.”_

_Nicole took Wynonna’s hand and didn’t look back._

 

~*~

Waverly wasn’t in the bed and Nicole swallowed a scream.

 

For one horrible moment, she thought it had all been a dream. That Waverly’s return had been the stuff of imagination and hope. But Wynonna was still sound asleep in the bed and there was the unmistakable impression left by a body in the middle of the mattress so…

 

Out of the corner of her eye, Nicole could see a pile of pillows and blankets heaped high at the foot of the bed. She sat up to get a closer look and only then did she see Waverly, snuggled in the midst of what appeared to be a nest made of blankets and the soft, plush, teddy bear from their Sorry Party. Nicole quietly slid out of bed and lowered herself to the floor, crawling as quietly as she could to Waverly’s side.

 

“Waves?” She set one hand on Waverly’s shoulder and was rewarded when Waverly turned over and smiled. Waverly’s expression was serene, almost blissful, and even though her eyes focused just beyond Nicole’s head, Nicole still felt seen.

 

“Hi, Sweetie.”

 

“Are you okay?” Nicole asked.

 

Waverly nodded and opened her arms, inviting Nicole into the warm cocoon. It took a second to adjust to the floor, but soon Nicole was buried under the blankets with Waverly, their heads resting on a shared pillow.

 

“The bed is just so soft,” Waverly said, lying on her back. Nicole traced small patterns on Waverly’s shoulder with one finger, studying the woman next to her. The tank top was thin and roomy and Waverly’s skin was sun-kissed. Her shoulders were covered in new freckles and Nicole could make out some mild scarring from where Waverly had been sunburned over and over again.

 

“Did you sleep on the ground?” Nicole asked. Waverly’s serene expression disappeared. Nicole leaned over and kissed her temple.

 

“It wasn’t like the woods here. Sometimes it was, but we couldn’t stay in one place, we couldn’t build a shelter or anything like that,” Waverly said. “The trees were _moving_ , they were always trying to find me, or the part of me that they recognized from Julian.”

 

“Were you cold?” Nicole asked, voicing the question that had haunted her since Waverly’s disappearance.

 

“Yes…not during the day. It was so hot, even with all the trees, we couldn’t find shelter from the sun. Doc let me wear his hat, that’s why his hair looks white.”

 

The corners of Waverly’s lips turned up with each pass of Nicole’s thumb against her shoulder, so Nicole didn't stop her gentle movements. She kissed the scarred, sunburned skin as Waverly continued.

 

“But at night it was so cold. Doc would make a fire, but it would always go out. We had to cuddle…it was strange.”

 

Nicole didn’t love the idea of Doc and Waverly spooning, but she understood. The thought of Waverly cold, however, the image of her shivering and shaking against someone else’s body…

 

As if reading her thoughts, Waverly turned onto her side, resting one hand against Nicole’s ribs.

 

“It didn’t feel right,” Waverly said. “I missed your body.”

 

“I missed your body too. Especially at night,” Nicole whispered, pressing her forehead against Waverly’s.

 

“My bonus blanket.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

The lay in silence for a minute, breathing each other in, and then Waverly began talking once more. She seemed peaceful, comfortable, and Nicole didn’t want to do anything to disturb her. She kept her movements against Waverly’s skin light and predictable. Their knees touched under the blanket and Waverly’s hand was warm against Nicole’s t-shirt covered torso.

 

“We looked for a way out everyday, but the landscape was never the same. It changed all the time, we couldn’t keep track of where we were…we couldn’t make a map. It took us weeks to climb a mountain once and when we reached the top, we immediately found ourselves at the bottom again.”

 

Nicole closed her eyes and winced.

 

“The animals were strange…I saw a dog with two heads. And once there was bear, but its mouth was where it’s eyes should’ve been…and every night foxes and racoons would snatch at our feet. That’s how I lost my shoes.”

 

“Oh, baby,” Nicole cooed, her fingers tracing patterns from Waverly’s shoulder to her elbow and back.

 

“There were two trees in the centre. I think…I think that’s where my dad used to sit on a throne? With Juan Carlo. We found the ruins of some sort of temple. It disappeared before we could explore it. But the older tree, it called to me all the time, it hissed at me…”

 

“What did it say?”

 

“I don’t know? That it wanted me. It wanted me to touch it? To taste it…”

 

Nicole raised her face so she could kiss Waverly’s forehead.

 

“I don’t remember everything that happened in the end. We heard screaming…Wynonna…and the world tore open. There was fire and the tree, both the trees, they reached for me and then Wynonna tossed me the ring and I…the next thing I remember is hearing your voice.”

 

Waverly tucked her head underneath Nicole’s chin and Nicole held on as tightly as she could.

 

“Baby, what Dr. Murray said about your eyesight…”

 

“That it was up to me?” Waverly’s voice was muffled against Nicole’s throat.

 

“Yes. Was she talking about the ring? Could it heal you?”

 

Nicole felt Waverly inhale.

 

“Yes.”

 

“I have it!” Nicole shifted suddenly, ready to retrieve the ring from the pants she’d neatly folded and set on Waverly’s dresser.

 

“No. Please, Nicole, don’t…”

 

The anxiety in Waverly’s voice made Nicole pause. She stopped moving and instead settled back down into the blankets, taking Waverly in her arms again.

 

“It was so bright,” Waverly whispered, “I saw things…I don’t know what I saw and I just…I just…”

 

“You’re not ready?”

 

“No. Nicole?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“What if I’m never ready?”

 

Nicole pondered the idea for a moment. But all she saw ahead was Waverly, her and Waverly together, so she shrugged and kissed Waverly’s forehead again.

 

“We’ll get you a cute seeing-eye dog, and a pink walking stick, and I’ll make sure all the crosswalks in town are voice activated,” Nicole said and Waverly smiled against her skin.

 

For a moment Nicole could pretend that they were all alone in the Homestead. Wynonna was fast asleep on the bed, she could hear the soft snoring, and whether anyone was downstairs it was hard to say. She and Waverly were bundled up on the floor, their legs intertwined as cold seeped in from the floorboards, and Waverly moved closer, her hands running up Nicole’s back to squeeze her shoulders.

 

“Tell me about you,” Waverly pulled back a little, “do you look the same? Did you cut your hair?”

 

The hand on her shoulder moved up, tangling in Nicole’s hair like it always did.

 

“Maybe it’s a little longer than before?” Nicole said, licking her lips, because there was certainly one physical change that Waverly needed to know about. She just wasn’t sure how Waverly would react.

 

“How many times did you end up in the hospital?” There was humour in Waverly’s voice, but Nicole’s eyes widened at the question.

 

“Twice?”

 

“What? Nicole!”

 

“Minor smoke inhalation and a sprained thumb, no big deal…”

 

“A sprained thumb?”

 

“That one is on your sister,” Nicole said, choosing not to explain how she managed to sprain her thumb when Wynonna accidentally slammed the truck-door on her hand.

 

“I guess I should be relieved that nothing changed while I was away?” Waverly smirked, but Nicole felt anxiety ripple through her chest cavity.

 

“Uh…there is one change?”

 

Her statements were coming out like questions and Waverly raised her eyebrows.

 

“Oh?”

 

“Give me your hand.”

 

It took some maneuvering, but Nicole lay down on her back again and then raised her right arm between them. With her left hand, she took Waverly’s fingers, balling them into a fist save her index finger. With her eyes darting from Waverly’s face to the hand she held, Nicole began tracing the outline of the angel wings on her arm.

 

“I got a tattoo,” Nicole said. Waverly’s confusion was replaced with elation.

 

“Really? Baby that’s so cool! What is it?”

 

“Your finger is on it right now.”

 

Nicole traced the ink again and this time, Waverly made the surprised face she made when she couldn’t believe that someone would do something nice for her. It was the face she’d made when Nicole told her that she’d stay for as long as Waverly wanted her to stay. It was the face that always, always broke Nicole’s heart.

 

“Angel wings?” Waverly curled her fingers into Nicole’s so they were grasping hands.

 

“Yes. Is that okay?”

 

“Nicole…”

 

“I wanted you with me. I…I couldn’t stand feeling like you were so far away and this seemed like…”

 

Waverly’s lips pressed against Nicole’s chin and then slid upwards, seeking Nicole’s mouth. One hand cupped Nicole’s face and then another and Nicole felt anchored in place, held firmly against Waverly’s exploring mouth.

 

After six months apart, the kiss was hungry, desperate, and Nicole only pulled away to look over her shoulder briefly, checking that Wynonna was still asleep. But Waverly pulled her back down, bumping her nose with her own before they resumed kissing. Nicole opened her mouth and Waverly did the same, and somehow they were pulling at each other, Waverly’s hands at Nicole’s hair and Nicole’s hands at Waverly’s sides, tangled in the loose material of Waverly’s white tank top.

 

Nicole could barely breathe, her eyes were closed, just like Waverly’s, but she could _see_ everything – she could see all the time apart and she could see Waverly lost in the woods and she could see a future where Waverly was beside her – she could see everything in the feel of Waverly’s chapped lips and the overwhelming scent of Waverly’s body wash.

 

They both tried to stay quiet, Nicole could sense that with each kiss she was taking in Waverly’s gasps, that they were somehow silencing each other with tongues and teeth and how wet it all was. Waverly’s chest pressed into Nicole’s, their legs tangled impossibly closer, and one of the small hands on Nicole’s cheek disappeared and reappeared under Nicole’s tshirt, below her breast, where Willa’s bullet once ricocheted off of a life-saving vest…

 

Nicole wanted to roll on top of top of Waverly, pin her down and protect her with her body, she wanted to take off her clothes and Waverly’s clothes and she wanted more than anything to taste Waverly, to go home, to rest in that sacred heat and breathe Waverly in again. But they were on the floor in Waverly’s room and Wynonna slept so near. And Waverly was tired and injured, at least that's what Nicole told her self when suddenly one hand, one clever hand found Nicole’s nipple beneath her shirt and flicked it with an equally clever thumb and Waverly’s breathed into Nicole’s mouth, filling her lungs, filling every single part of her that had cried out that had emptied that had hollowed that had…

 

“Waverly!”

 

Heavy footsteps on the stairs alerted them only seconds before the door flung open and Jeremy appeared, breathless and grinning with a bag in his hand.

 

“What the hell, Jeremy?” Wynonna’s pushed herself up in the bed and tossed wild hair from her eyes.

 

“Vegan burgers!” Jeremy’s excitement was quickly replaced with delight as he took in the scene at the foot of the bed. Nicole had moved quickly, covering Waverly with a quilt because the tank top was thin and Jeremy didn’t need to see Waverly so exposed.

 

“WayHaught is back!” Jeremy’s phone appeared out of nowhere and it was only when the flash went off that Nicole realized he had taken a picture.

 

“Jeremy, seriously?” she said.

 

“What did he do?” Waverly was still pressed to Nicole’s side, her breathing a little ragged.

 

“Pretty sure we’re going to be on Instagram any second,” Nicole answered. She was dizzy and angry and she wondered why she always found herself either dizzy or angry or some combination of both when it came to the Earp homestead.

 

“Did you say vegan burgers?” Waverly asked and Nicole softened. Because Waverly looked happy and her cheeks were red and Nicole could never stay angry for long when Waverly looked so content.

 

“Are you two sexing on the floor?” Wynonna stuck a finger in her mouth, making gagging noises.

 

“What? No!” Nicole knew she was blushing, but it didn’t matter. Waverly giggled a little and then sat up, holding the blanket to her chest.

 

“There no place like home, right?” she said, one hand resting on Nicole’s arm. Wynonna grinned and Jeremy looked like he was about to levitate.

 

But Nicole turned the words over in her head. Because home meant something different to her. Home meant Waverly. And she wasn’t sure if Waverly felt the same.

 

~*~

 

Cigarillo smoke alerted Nicole to Doc’s presence on the porch before she actually saw him. He was lurking in the corner, shrouded by the shadow cast from the roof, his hat, and the heavy collar of his coat.

 

Waverly was safe in the kitchen, surrounded by Jeremy and Robin and a feast of vegan cuisine. Wynonna was there too, keeping a watchful eye, but Nicole needed some air. The feel of Waverly’s mouth against hers again, the feel of Waverly and then the sudden interruption, it left her with a headache and she hoped the mountains and the stars would ease her mind. She hadn’t expect company.

 

“She spoke of you often,” Doc said, turning just a little towards her. “At night she called for you in her sleep. Always made my heart ache to hear it.”

 

“Wynonna talked about you too,” Nicole said, smiling sadly at Doc’s words.

 

“Hmmm.”

 

Somehow Nicole understood exactly how Doc felt.

 

“I do apologize, Sheriff Haught, for my behaviour before…”

 

“With Charlie?” Nicole was still struggling to accept that her friend Charlie was Waverly’s father and that he was an angel. A very dead angel.  

 

“Indeed.”

 

“Kate hasn’t come back. I told Mercedes to alert me if she did, but so far…”

 

“She will return when she means to,” Doc nodded and then exhaled, releasing smoke into the night air.

 

“Marriage is complicated, hey?”

 

Nicole wasn’t sure what made her say it. Her marriage to Shae was over before it began, but she wasn’t one to deny it either. She had been married. She’d signed the papers. She’d existed alongside another person for a short time, and even though it was the wrong person, it was still an experience in her life that was important.

 

“Very. Takes a stronger soul than I.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“Perhaps I should not speak of this to the Sheriff of Purgatory, but I am a scoundrel and a swindler in my soul, and I fear I shall be until my last breath.”

 

“A scoundrel and a swindler who willingly walked into the unknown to protect Waverly,” Nicole wasn’t sure why she felt the need to defend Doc, but she also understood that without him, Waverly may not have survived.

 

Doc shrugged and rested one hand on his hip, as he leaned against the frame of the house.

 

“She has performed wonders the likes of which no mortal has ever seen.”

 

“Oh?”

 

The air grew colder and Nicole shivered, wrapping her arms around her body.

 

“Has she spoken of our escape?”

 

“She says that she doesn’t remember much.”

 

“The tree whispered to her daily, tormenting her, calling for her and she fought with all the strength she had. There were nights when she would beg me to tie her up, lest the temptation be too much,” Doc said.

 

“Did you?”

 

“It broke my heart to do it. But I did. For her, I did.”

 

Nicole nodded and bowed her head.

 

“But then there was a great cry…Wynonna…”

 

“Always likes to make an entrance, that one," Nicole said.

 

“Naturally. She came bearing the ring, Bulshar’s ring and when it found Waverly’s finger…”

 

Doc shook his head, lowering the cigarillo from his lips.

 

“With the ring on her hand she threw herself at that tree, screaming like a banshee, and she struck it with the strength of a thousand men.”

 

“Waverly hit the tree?”

 

“There was light, and a terrible cry and then…in that light…her…she had…”

 

Nicole knew what was coming. She had known since seeing Waverly’s back at the cave. But she still found herself reaching for a nearby chair and gripping it for support.

 

“They were small, delicate, but her wings…I have never seen a sight more beautiful in all my years. Second only to my daughter’s eyes.”

 

“What happened to them” Nicole asked, gritting her teeth to hold back a sudden rush of tears.

 

“That I cannot say. They were there and then we were no longer in the garden. We were home. And the wings were gone. Only her wounds remained.”

 

There was that word again. _Home_.

 

Nicole quickly brushed away the tears that had fallen down her cheeks. Doc’s voice was full of awe, even in shadow, she could see the shock and amazement in his face, and Nicole knew that her expression likely mirrored his own.

 

She could hear Waverly giggling from the kitchen. She could see Waverly too, bundled in a pink bathrobe, head tipped back in laughter at something Jeremy said.

 

Swallowing hard she extended her hand and Doc understood immediately as he handed her the cigarillo. They passed it back in forth in silence until it was ash.

 

And then Doc tipped his hat and walked into the night. Nicole stayed on the porch, looking at the moon, trying to shake the feeling that her feet were no longer firmly planted on the hard, October earth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you EVERYONE for your incredible comments. I read each one and then re-read them and then read them again. Your thoughts are fascinating and very much inspiring me to keep going. As always, if you like what you're reading, if you want to tell me anything from character analysis to theories, I'd love to read them! Keep commenting, all! I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!


	5. Chapter 5

_“Sheriff!”_

 

_Nedley’s voice echoed through the nearly empty station and Nicole looked up from her desk, surprised to see him so late at night._

_“Sheriff?” She called back, beginning to stand when she saw the reason for Nedley’s midnight visit._

_He had a firm grip around Wynonna who was doing her best to wrestle away from his hands. Even from a distance, Nicole knew that Wynonna was drunk and looking for a fight. Nicole sighed and gritted her teeth. She had a headache and she hadn’t had a shower or slept in a warm bed in days. The last thing she needed was a drunk Wynonna trying to wiggle her way out of Nedley’s grasp._

_“Haught!” Wynonna caught sight of Nicole and waved, hitting the side of Nedley’s head as she did._

_“What’s going on, Wynonna?” Nicole stepped out of her office and raised an eyebrow. Nedley already had the former Earp heir half-way down the hallway. He was obviously heading towards the drunk tank, which had been mercifully empty all week._

_Until now._

_“I was just being helpful,” Wynonna called back, twisting her head, trying to slow Nedley’s movements._

_“She broke into the damn MacCallan…downed half of it before I caught her.”_

_“I’m allowed!” Wynonna said._

_“The MacCallan? That’s…expensive?” Nicole understood little of fine whiskeys, but her question made Nedley stop in his tracks. He had taken over Shorty’s in Doc’s absence and had a surprising knack for running the bar._

_“It’s a $900 bottle of whiskey, Nicole,” Nedley shook his head and then swung open the jail cell with one hand._

_“Jesus.”_

_“I’m allowed!” Wynonna said again, stumbling into the cell. Nedley firmly closed the door behind her._

_“How the hell did you get into that safe? Doc Holliday give you the combination?” Nedley was retired, but old habits died hard, and Nicole could already see that the old man was in detective mode._

_Wynonna smirked and hung her arms through the bars._

_“That what they call it back in your day, Nedley?”_

_“Wynonna,” Nicole warned._

_“Hey, hey now, you have my sister’s…combination….don’t lie!”_

_“Wynonna!” Nicole took a step forward, but Wynonna tipped her head back in laughter before finding a bench and sprawling across it._

_“I’ve got this, Sheriff,” Nicole said and Nedley shook his head again._

_“Breaking and entering, theft, Earp, you never change,” Nedley grumbled._

 

_Wynonna flipped him the bird._

_“Yeah, yeah.”_

_“You broke into Holliday’s safe and drank his whiskey…”_

_Wynonna’s grin disappeared, replaced by an icy stare that made Nicole stop in her tracks._

 

_Wynonna sat up and crossed the small space again._

_“Our whiskey,” Wynonna said, hands curling around the bars._

_Nedley shook his head and marched out, clearly not interested in what Wynonna had to say. But something in Wynonna’s look had Nicole concerned._

_“Come on, Wynonna, you know you can’t do that kinda stuff around Nedley,” Nicole tried to keep her voice calm and friendly._

_“Can’t drink my own whiskey?”_

_“You own a $900 bottle of whiskey?”_

_“We were gonna drink it. Today. Or start it. I don’t know.”_

_“Toda…oh,” Nicole quickly did the math in her head._

_“Yeah. Oh. Happy Birthday, Alice Michelle,” Wynonna tugged on the bars once and then pushed away, flinging herself onto the bench once more._

_“Hey, Wynonna…”_

_Waverly had held the baby so closely to her chest. Nicole could still picture it, how small Alice looked and how small, but brave Waverly seemed. She remembered holding Alice herself, how she had lowered her nose to Alice’s head and smelled her baby smell and she knew in that moment that she would die to keep Alice safe. She remembered watching Alice fly to safety and she remembered how empty everything had seemed when Alice was gone. And her heart hurt because Wynonna was struggling and Waverly would know what to say. Except Waverly was gone too…_

_“Funny, hey? Me with a kid. And my baby daddy is gone. So just me.”_

_“I’m here with you, Earp,” Nicole said, settling one hand against the bars._

_“Curse is over, you know.”_

_“So you’ve told me.”_

_“I could bring her home,” Wynonna said, sitting up and spreading her arms, “to all of this.”_

_“Hey, come on…”_

_“I’m the Guardian,” Wynonna giggled._

_“I know.”_

_“You’re the Sheriff.” Wynonna’s laughter became louder._

_“Wynonna…”_

_“And we still can’t keep our people safe. Not Waverly. Not Doc. Not Dolls.”_

_Nicole sighed and lowered her head._

_“I’m going to take you home, okay, Wynonna?”_

_“My kid would probably die here.”_

_“Hey, that’s not…”_

_“Everyone else does.”_

_Nicole reached for the keyring on her belt, shaking her head at Wynonna’s words._

_“We said we weren’t going to talk about them like they’re gone,” she said._

_“You ever think of that day? With Dolls.”_

_Nicole paused._

_“I chose you,” Wynonna whispered, “I chose you because I chose her. I always choose her.”_

_“Okay, Wynonna, let’s go,” Nicole opened the door and waited, increasingly uncomfortable with Wynonna’s line of thinking._

_“She chooses you too…bad things happen when she does…”_

_“Wynonna, stop talking.”_

_“Willa and the widows and Dolls and Julian…”_

_“Wynonna…”_

_“She told me to tell you…”_

_Nicole felt her hands start shaking. She whipped her head up, staring at Wynonna with widening eyes._

_“What did she say?”_

_“Wouldn’t let her finish.”_

_“What do you mean?” Nicole balled her hands into fists._

_“She just said to tell you. I said she should tell you herself. And then she begged me not to leave her there, but I’m good at leaving people. Waverly. Dolls. Alice.”_

_Tears threatened to spill from Nicole’s eyes, but she refused to cry in front of Wynonna. She felt rage and despair and she didn’t know where to put it all. She didn’t know what exactly Wynonna was saying and all the guilt of the past year threatened to weigh her down, to choke her._

_“Why didn’t you tell me this months ago?”_

_Wynonna shrugged. Her grin was cold._

_“Wynonna, damn it, why are you like this?”_

_“Born this way, Sweetie,” Wynonna said, obviously mimicking Waverly’s voice and it was enough for Nicole. She slammed the jail cell shut and locked it._

_“Sleep it off. I’ll come get you when you’re not an ass.”_

_“Hey!”_

_“Stop talking. Stop looking at me. I don’t want to hear from you until tomorrow. And if my deputy tells me that you’ve caused problems, I’m going to leave you in here, I swear to…”_

_“Happy birthday to youuu…”_

_Nicole turned and stormed out, trying desperately to catch her breath. Her chest felt so tight, like someone had reached in and squeezed, but she didn’t want Wynonna to see, she didn’t want Wynonna to know._

_She could still hear Wynonna’s mournful song as she stepped into her office and slammed the door shut._

_“Breathe, Nicole,” Nedley was there behind her, one hand on her shoulder and she could only nod and claw at the buttons on her shirt collar._

_“In and out, one at a time,” the Old Man said and Nicole listened, bracing herself against the desk._

_“Gibsons are mean drunks. Just lucky she didn’t start using her fists like her Mama used to back in the day.”_

_Nicole nodded again and closed her eyes, concentrating on each breath in and out of her lungs. Because it was easier to concentrate on that than on Wynonna’s words. It was easier to force herself to keep breathing than wrestle with the knowledge that Waverly had asked for her, that Waverly had known, on some level, that death was possible…_

_That Waverly knew in her final moments on earth that she might be dying, that she may never see Nicole again. And the notion of Waverly’s fear sent Nicole running from her office into the washroom and onto her knees where the remains of her lunch heaved out of her stomach and onto the tile floor._

_She’d barely eaten anything, but it burned nonetheless._

~*~

 

Before, Waverly had been a constant fixture of Purgatory’s Sheriff Department. She would flutter in multiple times a day, sometimes to visit Nicole, but more often to attend meetings at BBD. Sometimes she would come bearing coffee or snacks, others she would struggle in with a stack of books or an alarming array of firearms, but somehow, she was always just _there_.

 

Until she wasn’t and Nicole realized how often Waverly was a presence in her life. They spent nearly every night together and even if Nicole had the late shift, she’d end up at the Homestead or she’d come home to Waverly curled up on her couch. Their lives had intertwined to the point that Nicole didn’t always notice anymore…to the point that the vegan scone in her lunch bag or the long strand of honey brown hair on the bathroom floor just became routine.

 

And when Waverly was gone, the emptiness was overwhelming.

 

So with Waverly back, Nicole found herself more often than not in a minor state of shock.

 

During the first week, they had all stayed at the Homestead. Nedley somehow managed to take care of Shorty’s and keep a keen an eye on Purgatory, so Nicole could stay by Waverly’s side as she slowly healed from her ordeal. Waverly spent most of her time wrapped in large sweaters and blankets, wandering the house with a funny little grin on her face. She’d snuggle into anyone who came close – Wynonna, Jeremy, Doc, and always Nicole. She seemed weary of going outside, and even more hesitant to drive into town, so everyone gave her the time and space she needed.

 

Except life moved on and Nicole had to return to work. And then Waverly was at the station again, on Wynonna’s arm, but _there_ , a presence, and Nicole could only sit back in her chair and gawk at the sight of Waverly making her way into the BBD office, sunglasses hiding her eyes, but that ever-present grin on her face.

 

Nicole wasn’t dumb, though, and it didn’t escape her notice that Jeremy and Wynonna and Doc and Waverly were actively doing _something_ at the station every day. There were maps on the desks and tense, whispered conversations. So far, Nicole had not been invited in and Waverly never mentioned anything at the end of the day, but Nicole was too relieved to have Waverly close again to rock the boat.

 

Routine returned. A little different, a lot the same, and Nicole tried to settle despite all the alarm bells telling her to be vigilant. Despite the little voice in her head that constantly whispered about whatever secrets BBD was keeping from her.

 

“Hey, Nicole?”

 

Wynonna stood in the doorway, her leather jacket folded over one arm and a tired expression on her face.

 

“Hi?”

 

Wynonna and Nicole had spent six months loving each other and hating each other and everything in between. They’d shared dirty motel rooms and fears and a toothbrush once. And now Waverly was back and they weren’t quite sure how to deal with each other. Because it wasn’t like before, Nicole wasn’t just Waverly girlfriend and Wynonna wasn’t just Waverly’s sister and they weren’t just getting along to make Waverly happy. They had shared a trauma, an experience, they’d lived in the same trench for so long, but the war was over, the guns were silenced, but the memory remained.

 

“Do you think you could drive Waverly home? Doc and I need to go…to a place…” Wynonna trailed off, looking less than enthusiastic about the situation.

 

“Sure. Of course. Guess I’ll see you later tonight?” Nicole asked, setting aside the file in her hands.

 

“Nope. Overnight mission. Guess you guys won’t even need a sock on the doorknob…”

 

“Jesus, Wynonna…”

 

“Come on. You’d be disappointed if I didn’t go there.”

 

Nicole smirked. It was true.

 

“Plus, she misses you.” Wynonna said and the softness in her tone gave Nicole pause. It was rare for Wynonna to express any kindness towards Waverly’s romance, not that she wasn’t supportive. But Wynonna usually only fully pronounced her love for Nicole and Waverly when one or both were in mortal danger. So to hear her casually, even affectionately articulate that Waverly wanted some time with Nicole, that they deserved privacy? Nicole was close to speechless.

 

“I miss her too,” she stuttered. 

 

“Okay. Cool. Cool beans.”

 

“Are you okay?” Wynonna was uncharacteristically quiet and she looked distracted.

 

“Peachy! Gotta jet,” Wynonna said before disappearing from Nicole’s line of sight. The door to BBD’s office swung open and Nicole settled back into her chair, wondering what was going on right under her nose.

 

~*~

 

“But we don’t actually know…” Wynonna’s voice drifted from the room, as Nicole carefully turned the doorknob.

 

“Did you see anything?” Jeremy asked.

 

“I did not.” That was Doc.

 

“I don’t know.” There was Waverly.

 

Nicole opened the door and found the small group huddled over a map on the table. Her entrance startled everyone except Waverly and Jeremy’s overly enthusiastic grin was enough to tell her that BBD was up to something.

 

“Sheriff!” Jeremy said, clapping his hands.

 

“Hey, Jeremy, what are you gu…”

 

“Nicole?”

 

Waverly seemed always seated in the midst of the chaos, a centre of calm in sunglasses that silenced all of Nicole’s suspicions and questions.

“Hey, Waves,” Nicole said, touched when Waverly extended one hand, reaching into the air, the serene expression on her face expressing her certainty that Nicole would take her hand. It was such a confident gesture. Waverly tipped her head a little to the side and waited and when Nicole easily slipped her hand into Waverly’s outstretched palm, Waverly nodded once and squeezed.

 

“You my Uber?” Waverly asked.

 

“Seems that way.”

 

“Sexiest Uber ever.” Waverly responded with a cheeky grin and Wynonna shook her head and made an audible retching sound.

 

“Okay, enough of that, we’re done for the day. Team Earp, you need to be back here tomorrow,” Wynonna said before hopping off a desk. Nicole caught the frustrated look Wynonna shot Doc and the weary glance he delivered in response. Still, they walked out of the office side by side, both burdened with unspeakable purpose.

 

“He’s upset. I just…know,” Jeremy motioned towards his crotch and Nicole bit her lip to keep from groaning.

 

“Time to go, Waves?” She said instead. The fact that Wynonna didn’t include her in “Team Earp” was a pebble in her shoe and there was something about Jeremy motioning to his magical radar that had her on edge, but Waverly was holding her hand and they were about to get some actual alone time, so like most unpleasant annoyances in her life, Nicole placed it in a box and shoved it to the back of her thoughts. She could unpack it later.

 

Waverly responded with a tired smile.

 

“You two keep me young,” Jeremy said, one hand pressed over his heart.

 

“Bye, Jeremy. Say hi to Robin!” Waverly held Nicole’s arm as Nicole helped gather her jacket and purse.

 

“Oh, craft night tomorrow?” Jeremy asked.

 

“For sure!”

 

“And movie night on Thursday? Petting zoo weekend? Can we go?”

 

Jeremy’s voice carried as they left the BBD office and Waverly’s laughter and soft yells of _yes_ continued until they were finally in the parking lot. Waverly hovered close to Nicole’s arm, quieting once she realized they were outside.

 

“Let’s get you warm, Baby,” Nicole said, feeling comfortable using the pet name again, away from an audience.

 

Waverly kissed Nicole’s jacket-covered shoulder and nodded.

 

~*~

_A sharp, searing pain tore Nicole from sleep and she yelped, sitting up and grabbing her face._

_“Calamity Jane, what the hell?” She yelled, holding her scratched skin with one hand and trying to push the cat away from her with the other. It was rare for Calamity to scratch her so harshly, even more rare for the cat to be this active in the morning, but her sudden wakeful state had Nicole confused and fuzzy-headed and…_

_She smelled smoke. There was the definite scent of smoke in the air, it wasn’t just a left over from her dream, and she turned, eyes wide, to see the wooden surface of her nightstand starting to char. Or, more specifically, Julian’s ring was on fire and it was doing its best to destroy her IKEA shelving unit._

_“Shit!”_

_Nicole jumped from the bed, nearly tossing Calamity Jane out the door as she ran, and made a beeline to the bathroom where she grabbed the first thing she saw, a pair of tweezers. There were no flames yet, although judging from the amount of smoke, the ring was about to explode, so without thinking about it, she reached into the haze, grabbed the ring with the tweezers, and ran back to the bathroom where she dropped the sizzling jewelry in the sink and turned on the cold water._

_It was likely a stupid move. Charlie would have scolded her for such poor fire safety, but Charlie was dead, and Charlie wasn’t really Charlie, and Nicole wasn’t about to lose her house or the last item Waverly had given her._

_As the water cooled the ring, Nicole poked her head back into her bedroom to double check that the furniture wasn’t actually on fire, and once she confirmed that the ring had been the source of the problem, she released a breath and shook her head._

_It took a small, silent pep talk to convince her that she needed to put the ring on. That she needed to reach into the sink and hold the cursed jewelry and deal with the ridiculous, Biblical bauble that haunted her life. Because the ring had been dull and quiet since Waverly’s disappearance. For six months, she had carried it in pockets and slept with it next to her head, and it had remained silent. And suddenly this morning it caught on fire?_

 

_And there was something else, something Nicole didn’t notice until she held the dripping ring in the palm of her hand._

_The stone had turned blue. Sapphire._

_She slipped the ring onto her index finger and like a kite in the wind, it pulled her down the stairs, out the door, and down the road towards the Earp Homestead._

_~*~_

The homestead always felt different when it was just the two of them. The rooms seemed bigger and Nicole liked to take her time and appreciate the little decorating touches Waverly brought to each corner. Wynonna’s essence was there too, of course, Wynonna was a presence even when she wasn’t physically at home, but Nicole liked the Earp sister energy all around her.

 

Nicole picked up a framed photograph of Wynonna and Waverly and the corner of her lips lifted because despite her own fears and reservations, life was clicking back into place. And while she was tempted to ask Waverly about the secretive meetings at BBD, Nicole also wanted some time away from the stress and the anxiety of work. She just wanted to be near Waverly. To look at and listen to Waverly. BBD could go away for the night.

 

“Can we go upstairs?” Waverly rose from the couch, reaching out her hand for Nicole again, just like she had at the station.

 

“Of course, baby, you tired?”

 

“Something like that,” Waverly said and the way she raised one eyebrow made Nicole feel suddenly warm.

 

Waverly climbed the stairs on her own, muscle memory guiding her to her bedroom, and Nicole happily followed, taking in the quiet of the house and the mystery of Waverly’s mood.

 

She closed the bedroom door out of habit and crossed the space so that she was standing directly in front of Waverly.

 

“Just us now,” Nicole said.

 

“Doors locked?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Bedroom door locked?”

 

Nicole licked her lips.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Nicole, would you do something for me?”

 

Waverly’s eyes were still a little strange to Nicole. They were cloudy and she had a tendency to look over Nicole’s shoulder or at her chin and in this moment, Nicole wished she could read her girlfriend. Because Waverly’s eyes always gave her away and now they were just as cryptic to Nicole as Waverly’s behaviour.

 

“Of course. Anything.” Nicole said.

 

“Will you take off your clothes?”

 

“What?”

 

“Your clothes. I mean, only if you want to, but…could you take them off?”

 

Nicole swallowed hard. The chivalrous part of her wanted to say no, to tell Waverly that it had only been a few weeks since the cave and that Waverly needed time to heal and sleep. But the other part of her, the part that had spent six months longing for Waverly, the part of her that loved the woman standing in front of her beyond all rational thought could not deny how badly she desired whatever it was that Waverly seemed to want.

 

“Okay,” Nicole said. She started with her shirt, unbuttoning the blue uniform. When she finished, she unhooked her belt and wiggled out of her pants, leaving them in a heap on the floor. As she worked, Waverly didn’t move, she didn’t say anything, she just tilted her head to the side and listened.

 

Nicole dropped her bra on top of her discarded shirt and then stepped out of her underwear, bending over to take off her socks. And when she was done, when all of her clothes were scattered on the floor around her feet, she straightened her shoulders and stood tall.

 

“Done.”

 

Waverly visibly inhaled.

 

“So, you’re, like, naked?”

 

“As the day I was born.” Nicole dipped her head and smirked because Waverly was so obviously flustered despite her assertiveness. The blush gracing her cheeks was adorable.

 

“Okay. Wow. I thought there would be a little more banter, or you’d say no, but awesome, great!” Waverly nodded to herself and Nicole stifled a laugh.

 

“You…thought about this?” Nicole asked.

 

“Y-yes. All day. And week. And pretty much since I got sucked into the Garden…”

 

“Well, what are you gonna do about it?” Nicole rested her hands on her hips and waited.

 

Waverly extended one hand, her fingertips coming to rest on Nicole’s stomach, and all laughter died as they both released a breath. Nicole lowered her arms, letting them hang loosely at her sides, and watched the movement of Waverly’s warm palm against her own skin. Soon, Waverly’s free hand joined its mate and Nicole was being held around the middle, palms and fingers and thumbs feeling from her hips to her ribs and then up, to her shoulders and down her arms.

 

“I thought about you so much,” Waverly said and Nicole wanted so badly to look into Waverly’s eyes and know what she was thinking.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Mmmhmm. You kept me warm.”

 

“I thought about you too.”

 

Waverly circled around Nicole, lightly kissing her shoulder blades.

 

“Did you touch yourself while I was gone?”

 

Nicole felt her heart pound and belatedly realized that her hands were shaking. Waverly was standing in front of her again, her slow, steady exploration of Nicole’s body taking a sudden turn when two palms unexpectedly rested against Nicole’s breasts.

 

“I…I did. I tried not to, but I…”

 

“Why did you try not to, Baby?” Waverly’s thumb brushed against hard nipples and Nicole’s knees trembled.

 

“I wanted you to be the last person to touch me,” Nicole said, “but I wasn’t strong enough.”

 

“You’re the strongest person I know.” Waverly leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss just above Nicole’s left breast.

 

“God…Waverly.”

 

“What did you think about? When you touched yourself?”

 

Waverly’s mouth drifted down, sucking gently.

 

“Y…you.”

 

“What about me?” Waverly moved to the right, repeating her actions, her hands firm against Nicole’s sides.

 

“The way you look when… _fuck_ …when you cum.”

 

“I would dream about you, how you hold me down sometimes…when I ask you to.”

 

“Uh huh.”

 

“It was hard to sneak away, I only managed it twice, but both times made me miss you more…it made me feel so empty.”

 

Nicole understood. She knew how the momentary pleasure could turn to an aching sadness. She knew what it was to cry out and then curl up in tears, vulnerable and alone.

 

“I’m here now,” she said, trying to keep her voice steady.

 

“Yes,” Waverly said lowly, “you are.”

 

Waverly’s right hand dropped lower, resting for a second against Nicole’s thigh before moving to cup Nicole between her legs. Nicole balled her hands into fists, trying to stay steady, until Waverly dipped one finger inside and it was all Nicole could do not to cum on the spot. Six months was a long time. Six months and now Waverly was inside her…

 

“Jesus, Waverly…”

 

But Waverly wasn’t listening. The finger nestled inside was suddenly gone and Nicole watched as Waverly raised her hand and curved her lips around the glistening finger. Waverly _sucked_ and then she closed her eyes and moaned and Nicole felt so tight between her legs that she pressed her thighs together and whined. 

 

The sound caught Waverly’s attention.

 

“Lie down on the bed, Nicole,” Waverly said, eyes closed as she raised her fingers to her nose.

 

Nicole didn’t have to be told twice. It was hard to move, she didn’t want to finish before Waverly had a chance to complete whatever fantasy she’d carried with her, but as she stumbled to the bed, Nicole wondered if she was going to survive the night.

 

Lying down on top of the sheets, Nicole turned her head to look at Waverly who crossed the room and proceeded to pull her over-sized hoodie over her head. Nicole watched in silence as Waverly stripped and then reached out one hand, knowing somehow that Waverly would do the same.

 

Waverly mounted her with less grace than usual, she stumbled, sliding one knee to the other side of the bed, but soon Waverly straddled Nicole’s hips, naked and bold and in control.

 

“Are you looking at my body?” Waverly asked. Nicole nodded before remembering that Waverly couldn’t see.

 

“Yes.”

 

Waverly leaned forward, pressing one hand on either side of Nicole’s shoulders. She thrust forward a little, grinding against Nicole’s stomach.

 

“I thought they said you were an angel,” Nicole managed to say, barely able to breathe as she felt Waverly leave wet streaks against her skin.

 

“Maybe I’m the opposite,” Waverly’s voice was so low, so different than her usually bright, upbeat tone, “Does it bother you? What I am?”

 

The question confused Nicole at first, mainly because her head felt so full of Waverly and the feel of Waverly and the anticipation of Waverly, but she found her voice.

 

“I love everything you are, everything you’ll ever be. Angel or devil, I love _you_.”

 

“God, you’re so perfect,” Waverly said, sitting up again and tracing her fingers over Nicole’s shoulders and throat.

 

“Hardly.”

 

“I should tell you more, I don’t tell you enough.” Waverly etched the lines of Nicole’s face with her hands, using her thumbs to guide her.

 

“Baby…”

 

“You’re so beautiful, Nicole.”

 

For a moment Waverly held Nicole’s face in her hands and it was as if Waverly could see her again. Their eyes met and Nicole waited and in that second, Waverly made a decision. She released Nicole’s face and slid down Nicole’s body, her hair tickling Nicole’s breasts and abdomen, and then Waverly settled between Nicole’s legs, resting one cheek against Nicole’s thigh.

 

The first pass of Waverly’s tongue was tentative, off centre, but it made Nicole arch her back and plant her feet firmly on the mattress. The second pass was true and Waverly’s mouth closed around Nicole’s clit, sucking and licking and knowing, just knowing, exactly what to do. Nicole leaned her head as far back as she could, her forehead was nearly touching the headboard, but Waverly’s tongue was hot and wet and it licked a path of liquid fire across Nicole’s skin.

 

One finger dragged its way up Nicole’s body, scratching at her breasts and her heart and then it found its home between Nicole’s legs, curling inside, stroking again and again, and then thrusting and Nicole was light headed and her heart pounded and all she could feel was the wet, slippery smooth of Waverly against her.

 

A second finger joined the first and Nicole squeezed her legs, trapping Waverly, encouraging, eager, and Waverly free hand pressed against Nicole’s thigh, pushing it down, forcing Nicole open with bruising strength.

 

Nicole reached for Waverly then, both hands gliding through Waverly’s hair and grasping, overwhelmed by the friction of Waverly’s tongue and her nose and her fingers deep inside. Nicole called out, her voice high and loud, and when she arched again, Waverly moved with her, lashing her clit over and over until Nicole couldn’t hold out any longer.

 

She gave herself permission to go. She closed her eyes and stopped thinking and her body freed itself from every moment of pain and longing and fear. The coiled thing inside her sprang loose and fled, turning her veins into molten ore and everything was Waverly and nothing was lost and the fingers inside Nicole curled in homecoming.

 

She was vaguely aware of Waverly hovering over her, vaguely aware of the ache in her legs from where she’d clenched her muscles, but when she opened her eyes, she found Waverly smiling, her chin wet and dripping.

 

“You still with me?” Waverly asked, crawling over Nicole’s body.

 

“There’s a great joke about going to heaven here, but I’m not going to make it,” Nicole said, pulling Waverly down onto her chest. She kissed Waverly chin, and then her lips, cleaning herself from Waverly’s face and when Waverly’s breath hitched, Nicole let herself have the momentary victory.

 

“I missed doing that. A lot,” Waverly said.

 

“Anytime you miss it…you know you can just…wow…”

 

Waverly tilted her head up again and Nicole met her lips, kissing her over and over, happy to have the chance to be this close. Waverly's body was draped over Nicole, the fall of her hair darkened the already dark room even further and when Nicole inhaled, everything smelled like Waverly.

 

She wondered briefly if Waverly was tired, if they would fall asleep like this, entangled, but the subtle movements of Waverly’s hips against her own indicated that her girlfriend was in need of something other than sleep.

 

“Hey, come here,” Nicole said, turning onto her side and rolling Waverly with her. They were spooning, Waverly’s back pressed against Nicole’s front, and it felt nice to hold Waverly so close, to have all of her within arms reach.

 

Nicole started slowly, kissing Waverly’s shoulder and the curve of her ear. She drew patterns up and down Waverly’s arm with her fingers and tickled her belly. Waverly purred happily at each touch, especially when Nicole’s hands cupped her breast, squeezing gently.

 

“Those hands,” Waverly sighed and Nicole smiled against her shoulder, brushing her palm against a hardening nipple.

 

Nicole kissed Waverly’s shoulder again and then moved lower without a second thought, without pausing. Her lips barely touched the scar on Waverly’s shoulder blade, but it was enough to make Waverly gasp and thrust her hips wildly.

 

“ _Oh_ ,” she moaned, one hand reaching behind to squeeze Nicole’s leg. Her fingers were sharp and Nicole couldn’t tell exactly what had just happened.

 

“Shit, sorry Baby, did I hurt you?”

 

“N…no.”

 

“No?”

 

“No. Nicole, do that again. _Please_.”

 

Nicole paused, pushing back just a little to get a better view of the scarred skin. Their bodies were pressed so closely that Nicole only had access to the left side of Waverly’s back, but she leaned in and kissed the red, healing wound.

 

Waverly let out a strangled scream.

 

The skin felt warm against Nicole’s lips, she could feel something moving beneath her mouth, bone and muscle that was new and strange,  but she traced the scar’s path with her tongue, wrapping one arm around Waverly’s stomach as she did because Waverly was nearly thrashing beside her. With each kiss, Waverly cried out, with each gentle bite, Waverly nearly stopped breathing, and Nicole had no idea what it meant, she had no idea what she was doing, but she knew that she loved the body against her, she loved every single part of it, even the parts she could not explain.

 

“I have you, baby,” Nicole whispered against Waverly’s skin, licking the scar as she reached between Waverly’s legs, swirling her fingers against Waverly’s throbbing, swollen clit.

 

“Nicole…”

 

Nicole moved her hand slowly, pressed down on Waverly’s clit, all the while kissing and licking the scarred flesh. When she could feel Waverly close, when her fingers became so wet that they slipped against Waverly’s thighs, Nicole arched her own back, dragging her breasts across Waverly’s back, watching as her nipples brushed the scars. She repeated her actions, breathing heavily as Waverly's ass pushed into her lap.

 

Waverly realized what was happening a second later - the feel of Nicole's nipples against the scars forcing an ancient cry from her throat - and thrust backwards so violently that Nicole had to wedge her free arm under Waverly’s body to hold onto her. Nicole never stopped stroking between Waverly’s legs and one last time, she tucked her head down and sucked on the marred skin of Waverly's shoulder blade, feeling the odd movements beneath her lips, overwhelmed by Waverly’s reaction, by the way Waverly’s voice rose up in need, by the way Waverly’s prayer held one word and one word only: _Nicole_.

 

Nicole held on as Waverly’s body shook and she maintained her hold long after the shaking stopped altogether. The sheets underneath them were wet and Nicole shivered as the room cooled the damp material. Waverly was still breathing heavily in Nicole’s arms and the hand on Nicole’s thigh had left fingerprint bruises deep in the muscle

 

“Baby, are you okay?” Nicole asked, careful not to touch Waverly’s shoulder blades again. She sensed that they were sensitive and didn’t want to do anything that might cause Waverly pain.

 

“Oh, God, that was so weird…”

 

“Weird, bad?”

 

“No, like…I’m a freak.”

 

“Hey,” Nicole said, trying to turn Waverly over, but Waverly wasn’t having it.

 

“Are you looking at me right now?” Waverly asked, bringing her hands up to her face.

 

“Yeah, don’t plan to stop.”

 

“Nicole, that was not normal. You can’t tell anyone, please, I’m sorry that was…”

 

“Hey!” Nicole pushed herself up on one elbow, realizing belatedly that Waverly wouldn’t be able to see the genuine love and acceptance in her gaze. She’d have to make her _feel_ it, to believe it.

 

“Waverly, there’s no such thing as _normal_.”

 

Waverly continued to hide her face in her hands.

 

“That was so beautiful, Waverly. I…I don’t even know how to say what I’m trying to say…”

 

“On what planet was that beautiful?”

 

“Baby, it’s just us. It’s just you and me,” Nicole gently stroked one of Waverly’s hands with her fingertips.  

 

“You’re not completely weirded out by it?” Waverly’s body stilled.

 

“No,” Nicole said honestly, “I feel…honoured by it?”

 

“Honoured?” Waverly finally rolled over and Nicole took the opportunity to curl into her side. She pressed her palm against Waverly’s stomach and kissed the breast closest to her.

 

“Yeah. I mean, everything we do together is ours, it belongs just to us and seeing you like that, feeling you, knowing you trusted _me_ to be with you like that, it’s…it’s everything, Waverly.”

 

One of Waverly’s hands found the back of Nicole’s head and Nicole smiled, kissing one soft, pink nipple. She couldn’t help herself.

 

“It scared me. It felt like I was going to tear apart.”

 

“In a bad way?”

 

“No. In the best way and I don’t know how I feel about it yet. About…them.”

 

The wings. The wings that appeared and then vanished. The wings that now were only a suggestion of strange movements beneath the skin. Against Nicole's lips. 

 

“That’s okay,” Nicole said, “it’s all very new. There’s no time limit on getting used to your body.”

 

“I don’t understand how you’re not disgusted.”

 

“Are you disgusted?” Nicole asked and Waverly shrugged.

 

“I don’t want anyone to know.”

 

“Waverly, what happens here in the bedroom? It’s like I said, that’s ours. No one gets to know any of it.”

 

“I like that.” Waverly’s voice was suddenly so quiet, as if the idea that she could have something that truly belonged to her was new.

 

Nicole turned Waverly again, this time so they were face to face, both sharing one pillow, and she leaned up so she could kiss Waverly’s forehead. Her muscles felt achy and there was a comfortable throb between her legs. Nicole hitched one leg over Waverly’s hips and settled against her thigh.

 

“I am so in love with you,” she said, confessing against Waverly’s lips. Waverly responded with an inviting mouth and Nicole could still taste herself on Waverly’s tongue.

 

“Nicole?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Do you have the ring?” Waverly’s leg pressed upwards and Nicole swallowed hard.

 

“Yes.”

 

The ring was a pregnant object. It held a multitude of meanings and Nicole had no idea how Waverly planned to yield it. She kept her body still and braced.

 

“Tomorrow…I want to use it. I can’t stand to go another day without seeing your face,” Waverly said.

 

Nicole exhaled. And smiled. And kissed Waverly again.

 

“Okay.”

 

And then Waverly raised her thigh and Nicole thrust down and all thoughts of rings and sight and words were forgotten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the wait - life pulled me away from Purgatory, so I hope this extra long (ratings bump) chapter makes up for it. Thanks for reading! I'm very curious to hear your thoughts on this one.


	6. Chapter 6

By the time Wynonna walked in the door the next morning, Waverly’s eyes had turned from milky white to her regular green-hazel. Nicole watched quietly from the kitchen counter as Wynonna realized that Waverly could see again and the smile that broke over the former Earp heir’s face was genuinely beautiful.

 

“Baby Girl?”

 

“Hey, sis!” Waverly extended her arms and Wynonna cheered, awkwardly wrapping Waverly in an embrace despite the furniture between them.

 

Waverly raised her hand, showing off the ring, and Wynonna immediately pulled up a chair and pressed her forehead to Waverly’s.

 

“Does it still work when you take the ring off?” Wynonna asked.

 

“Totally.” Waverly demonstrated, removing the ring as evidence.

 

“Okay, good. Because that ring doesn’t exactly scream ‘celestial being with a vintage fetish,’ Waves.”

 

Nicole sipped her coffee, stifling a laugh. She eyed the ring on the table and tried to calm the anxiety creeping into her chest. She wondered how soon Waverly would want to use the ring again for a different purpose. Nicole wondered if she was ready. The coffee tasted bitter on her tongue.

 

~*~

_Three living beings witnessed the Sheriff of Purgatory flying through the air in her pyjamas on a cool, August morning._

_Thankfully, one was a stray dog, half-asleep on a porch. The other two were a husband and wife team on their way home from a night at the bar who chalked it up to some bad whiskey and some even worse pot._

_For her part, Nicole spent the entire trip screaming, holding onto her left wrist and trying in vain to stop the ring from launching her into space. The ring propelled her forward, uncaring that tree branches scratched her face or that she was nearly impaled on an electrical poll. With the Homestead in sight, Nicole felt the motion change, the pull was so strong she worried that her arm was about to be yanked from its socket and her screams turned into a single sound:_

_“Wynonna!”_

_Nicole’s feet hit the ground, but the ring dragged on, pulling her through the front yard and through the Homestead’s screen door with a resounding smash._

_“Owwww WYNONNA!”_

_A sleepy Wynonna peeked her head around the corner and proceeded to jump back as Nicole’s body torpedoed onto the floor. The ring flew from her finger, clanking loudly against a wall, before ricocheting onto the kitchen table where a map lay open from the night before._

_“Nicole!” Wynonna helped Nicole sit up, obviously trying to understand how and why her visitor had pulled a Superman so early in the morning._

_Nicole groaned and cradled her elbow. She had a few scratches and her hair looked like she’d been standing in front of a fan, but otherwise, she was unharmed._

_“The ring,” she said, pointing at the kitchen table, but Wynonna paused, one arm supporting Nicole’s back._

_“Did you fly here?” Wynonna asked._

_“Yeah.”_

_“Didn’t take you for a Victoria’s Secret girl.”_

_“Wynonna!” Nicole belatedly realized that her boxers were very small and not really boxers and she’d been half naked flying through her town. She pushed herself off the floor, reaching for a blanket that someone had left draped over a chair._

_“Own it, Sheriff. That ass is top shelf, too.”_

_“The. Ring.” Nicole gestured towards the kitchen and Wynonna nodded, finally paying attention to the clanking jewelry._

_They gingerly crept into the room, eyeing the ring where it sat on the table. It was still, but so blue that it was almost as if someone had switched out the original dark stone and replaced it._

_“That’s not Purgatory,” Wynonna said, pointing at the map. Nicole looked closer._

_“No, it’s north of here. In the mountains.”_

_They both took a breath and then another. Because hope was dangerous and seductive and cruel._

_“I’ll call Jeremy.” Wynonna’s voice was casual, but her fidgeting hands gave away her nervousness._

_“Nedley knows the territory better than anyone,” Nicole said._

 

_“Hey, Wynonna?”_

_“Yeah?”_

_“The stone. It’s been dull since she disappeared.”_

_Wynonna nodded._

_“I woke up and it was blue, sapphire…”_

_“Sapphire?” Wynonna’s fidgeting hands gave way to full on shaking. Her voice was unsteady and she leaned forward, resting both palms flat on the table. Nicole felt equally off kilter._

_“Yes, sapphire. Just like her birthstone…”_

_Nicole and Wynonna exchanged a look. And then they both ran for their phones._

~*~

Nicole quietly readied for work. The sun cast dusty beams of light through the windows and Waverly’s bedroom held an uncharacteristic stillness. As she pulled on her pants and buttoned her shirt, Nicole felt herself smiling. Nothing could hurt them in this space. Tucker Gardiner had tried. Jolene had too. But Waverly’s bedroom had its own magnetic pull, separate from any known rules of earthly science. It was a little bit of magic and Nicole breathed it in and stored it up and knew she would carry it for the rest of the day.

 

She heard stirring behind her and her smile grew.

 

“Hey, Baby,” she said, turning to greet Waverly, but stopped when she realized what Waverly was doing.

 

“Nicole Rayleigh Haught?” Waverly sat cross legged on the bed, hair tussled from sleep. She was beautiful and young and grasping Julian’s ring in her fingers, held out in offering.

 

Nicole felt her heart drop.

 

“Waves?”

 

“So I kinda asked you something before I left. Something big…”

 

“Yeah…”

 

“And I’ve been thinking about it for six months. So…”

 

“Waverly…” Nicole said trying to steady her voice, but failing.

 

 Her tone was enough to make Waverly’s face fall. The hazel green eyes filled with tears and Nicole watched in horror as realization broke over Waverly’s features.

 

“Oh.”

 

“Wait, Waverly…”

 

“ _Oh_ ,” Waverly dropped the ring and desperately reached for a blanket, trying to cover herself.

 

“Waverly, wait, please let me talk.”

 

There was the feeling of a precipice, a foot over the edge. Nicole imagined herself standing on a sheet of ice newly formed over an autumn puddle. She could see the cracks forming, she could anticipate the moment of fragmentation and the deadly abyss lying in wait.

 

“I can’t…”

 

“Waverly you are it for me,” Nicole lunged forward, frantic.

 

“You just said that you wouldn’t marry me,” Waverly shook her head, her face red with unshed tears.

 

“No, that’s not it at all.”

 

“Nicole, you didn’t say yes.”

 

“But I didn’t say no either. I’m just saying _not yet_.”

 

Waverly took this in, but shook her head angrily.

 

“You’re it for me,” Nicole repeated, “you’re my forever, Waverly.”

 

“Then I don’t understand what’s happening right now.”

 

Behind the tears there was a cold, growing fury. Nicole knew Waverly well enough to understand that the woman sitting on the bed would only remain docile for so long, that any moment the wall could come down and Nicole would find herself on the receiving end of shocking, precise anger. She fiercely wanted to avoid such a fate.

 

“My divorce papers just came through,” Nicole said and immediately knew it was the wrong thing to say.

 

“Is this about Shae? Are you still in love with her?”

 

“What? No! I mean, yes this is about Shae, but Waverly, not the way you think.”

 

Waverly started pushing herself off the bed, but Nicole reached out, trying to stop her, scared to touch her, but needing Waverly to be still, to listen, to understand.

 

“I married the wrong person, Waverly. I signed legal documents and I said vows and it was all wrong. But you? You’re the right person. The _only_ person. And I want to get it right. It needs to be right.”

 

“So you don’t want to get married because you want to make sure we do this right? By…not getting married?”

 

“No, baby, no, it’s just…”

 

“What, Nicole? I’m a few seconds from kicking you out of this room. This is...this is _so_ humiliating.”

 

“Waverly,” Nicole’s heart broke because Waverly looked so embarrassed. Nicole needed to find words, all the words, gathered and ordered and perfect.

 

“We’ve never tried living together,” Nicole began.

 

“We basically already do.”

 

“No, we don’t. We have sleepovers. And you don’t know if the way I fold laundry is the worst and I don’t know if the way you leave toothpaste in the sink will drive me crazy.”

 

Waverly shook her head, but stayed seated. It was the only indication that she was listening, that she wasn’t preparing to run from the room and leave Nicole.

 

“Okay, so let’s move in together,” Waverly said, tossing her hands in the air.

 

“Where are we going to live?”

 

“What?”

 

This was it. The precipice. Nicole knew she had to jump, she knew she had to trust that she wouldn’t hit the ground, that Waverly would meet her half way. There was no other choice.

 

“Am I supposed to move in here? With you and Wynonna? Because it’s barely big enough for two people, let alone three. Or are you going to move in with me? And leave Wynonna here?”

 

Waverly quickly closed her mouth and furrowed her brow.

 

“Baby, I’m never going to make you choose between me and Wynonna. I’m not asking you to leave her, but I want to marry you, I want _us_ to be you and me…”

 

“I don’t…I didn’t…”

 

“I know, Waverly. But that’s what I’m saying. There are things we need to figure out. We can’t skip steps. We can’t just ignore problems.” Nicole crouched before the bed, praying that some of what she was saying made sense to Waverly.

 

“And then there’s the fact that you keep me at arm’s length from everything important in your life,” Nicole said while Waverly appeared to be somewhat receptive to her words.

 

The Band-Aid ripped off, taking fibre and tissue with it. Nicole winced as the words came out, she winced again when they hit Waverly, when Waverly heard them, when Waverly’s eyes filled with tears of confusion.

 

“That’s not true!”

 

“Baby, you’ve been back for a few weeks and in that time, ‘Team Earp’ has been sneaking around BBD. And I am not on Team Earp, you have all made that very clear.”

 

“No, that’s…”

 

“Yes, Waverly. You guys close the door. You all stop talking when I come in the room. Last week, Jeremy practically set his iPad on fire so I couldn’t see the screen.”

 

Waverly remained silent, eyes cast down.

 

“Six months ago your sister drugged me and I woke up alone and scared and you were gone. And I don’t know if I could have changed the outcome, I know everyone thinks I’m the weak human link here…”

 

“Nicole, no, that’s not true!” Waverly said again, her eyes pleading.

 

“Wynonna drugged me and then you went off to fight Bulshar – while I was what? On the floor? Unconscious? He killed my aunt and uncle. He almost killed me. And then he killed Dolls and your father and no one seems to care that I had a right to be there with you. You’re my girlfriend, you’re my everything, and your sister made a decision for me…for _us_ that was not hers to make. ”

 

The anger of the day crept back into Nicole’s words. She wasn’t mad at Waverly, but the injustice of it all still stung.

 

“She was trying to protect you,” Waverly said, but her words were hesitant, as if she was trying to fit the pieces together for the first time. As if she’d thought the puzzle was complete and only now realized that it was jagged and wrong.  

 

“You want us to get married and I want that too, but I know what you are to me. You’re the love of my life, when I get home at the end of the day? You’re the first person I want to talk to, I want to tell you everything. But I don’t think I’m that person in your life, Waverly.”

 

Despite her best efforts, a traitorous tear fell from Nicole’s cheek and she quickly batted it away. Waverly seemed to be in the same situation, sniffling loudly while playing with the blanket in her hand.

 

“I need to keep you safe,” Waverly whispered.

 

“By keeping me away?”

 

“No…I…you’re the only thing that’s mine, which sounds super possessive and gross, ugh…”

 

“I’m listening, Baby, take your time.” Nicole rested her hands on either side of Waverly’s knees. She sensed they weren’t quite ready to touch each other yet, but she wanted to stay close, she wanted to show Waverly that despite the heated discussion, she was very much _here_ and she planned to stay.

 

“My entire life has been about the Earp curse. And about trying to build _something_ , anything, and you’re…it’s like I keep you in a separate place and it’s safe and it’s just ours and when the world tries to butt in, I panic, I don’t know what to do.”

 

“I’m not going anywhere, Baby, I’m here.”

 

“But what if someone takes you away from me? Because you are _really_ good at ending up in the hospital, Nicole.”

 

“It’s kind of my thing.”

 

“That’s not funny, Nicole,” Waverly was in tears, her voice rising with the tension.

 

“Sorry. Shit, Baby, I’m sorry, I know. But even if you and your sister weren’t demon hunters, I’d still be a cop. I’d still be in danger, it’s part of my job.”

 

“It’s not that I don’t want to include you, I just don’t want everything to always be so crazy and so confusing and you’re the only thing that makes sense in my life. Everything keeps moving and changing, but you’re so…steady. So I don’t always tell you things because I don’t want the crazy to touch you..”

 

Waverly fingers found Nicole’s on the bedspread. They didn’t hold hands, but the soft touch calmed them both. The room felt crowded with emotion, as if their words had created an unseen haze of choking smoke, but Nicole pushed on, knowing that whatever had cracked open was necessary for them both.

 

“I get that. I honestly do. It doesn’t change the facts though.”

 

“I know.”

 

“Crazy is part of my job, Waverly. This town? It’s never going to be normal.”

 

“I know.”

 

“And it doesn’t change that we need to figure out how to balance all of the amazing people in our lives because, Waverly, I’m not trying to take you away from anyone, I never, ever want you to feel like you have to choose…”

 

“I choose you. In my head, I choose you, but maybe it doesn’t seem that way? I know Wynonna is…a lot, but…she’s…”

 

“She’s your light,” Nicole answered.

 

Wynonna had spoken of Waverly so often over the six months that Nicole understood the sisters better than she had before. Their relationship was startling in its contradicting purity and complexity. Nicole understood that it was sacred, that its existence didn’t need to diminish her own place in Waverly’s universe. The Earp sisters shared something profound.

 

Then again, she and Waverly did too.

 

“But you're my light, you're both my light,” Waverly said, desperation evident in the slight tug of her hand against Nicole’s wrist.

 

“This is why I said, ‘not yet,’ because we need to figure all of this out, Waves. We need to carve our own little corner and it needs to have a place for Wynonna and a place for Jeremy and…”

 

“A place for Alice Michelle,” Waverly said.

 

“What?”

 

Nicole reared back, searching Waverly’s tear stained face.

 

“That’s what we’ve been trying to figure out. Whether or not it’s safe to bring Alice home. Wynonna thinks something followed us out of the Garden and Jeremy agrees. But we don’t know what or who and we can’t bring Alice home until we know for sure.”

 

The information settled on Nicole’s shoulders. She knew that Alice’s return was on the table, she’d guessed it from Wynonna’s nervous eyes and the increase in Doc’s nicotine intake. But to actually hear it said out loud made the last few weeks clearer in her mind. 

 

“And you guys didn’t think I should know about that?”

 

“It’s so dangerous.”

 

“I’m the Sheriff, Waverly, if something evil is loose in Purgatory, I need to know so I can keep everyone safe. Besides, I have all of Nedley’s files. I know more about the supernatural activity in this town than all of BBD combined.”

 

Nicole wondered why Wynonna and Waverly’s world always conflicted with her own, why their actions seemed to make her job harder. She tried to keep the frustration from her voice, but it was exhausting trying to stay ahead when BBD pushed her back at every turn.

 

“This isn’t a petty criminal, Nicole, if it’s from the Garden, it’s…nothing can happen to you.”

 

“Waverly, Baby, things are going to happen to me. And you. That’s life.”

 

“I’ve already dragged you into so much shit. And now there might be something from the Garden here, where we live, near my  _home_ , and I’m scared and I am tired and I don’t even understand what I am anymore. What if angels are poisonous to humans? Or if I kiss you one day and my heaven powers burn you alive or you suffocate on my feathers in your sleep because, yes, I think I might have feathers and…”

 

“Baby, I’m not going anywhere unless you tell me to leave.”

 

“I should tell you to go. I’m being selfish because being with me is dangerous, but I can’t do it, Nicole, I can’t lose you.”

 

“It’s not selfish to be happy, Waverly. It’s not selfish to want things.”

 

“I want you. From the moment we met…”

 

“I wanted to marry you the first time I saw you,” Nicole said, reaching for Waverly’s free hand. She was still crouched by the bed, both hands holding Waverly’s, their heads bowed close together.

 

“I guess there’s a lot we need to talk about, hey?” Waverly said, leaning forward to press her forehead to Nicole’s.

 

“Yes, there is. And we will. So this isn’t a no, baby, it’s a _not yet_ ,” Nicole said again.

 

Waverly nodded against Nicole’s forehead, but sniffled loudly as she began to cry.

 

“Oh, baby, come here,” Nicole gathered her girlfriend into her arms, trying to give comfort while knowing she was the cause of the pain.

 

“I don’t want you to feel like you’re not part of my life,” Waverly said, tears soaking Nicole’s shoulder.

 

“We’re going to work this out, Waverly. I meant what I said, this is forever. Feathers and all.”

 

“I just…I need a little time, to think.”

 

Nicole pulled back and nodded.

 

“That’s okay.”

 

“I spent six months planning our wedding.”

 

“Waverly…”

 

Nicole’s radio crackled to life in the corner, demanding her attention. She sighed and stood, losing her grip on Waverly’s hands as she did.

 

“I’ve got to go,” she said, gathering her holster and belt, “but…we _are_ going to figure this out together, right?”

 

Waverly was quiet for a moment, but then nodded, looking up at Nicole with glassy eyes.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Waverly?” Nicole lingered in the doorway, terrified to leave because what if Waverly changed her mind? What if her hurt turned to anger and the door permanently closed? What if Waverly was lost to her again?

 

“Yes?”

 

“I love you,” Nicole said.

 

She left before Waverly had a chance to say it back.

 

~*~

 

“I knew it!”

 

Wynonna Earp was a rolling storm cloud, a physical manifestation of sound and fury. A physical manifestation of sound and fury that was heading straight for Nicole’s office.

 

“Wynonna?”

 

Nicole rose  from her office chair as Wynonna entered, trying to decipher the rage on Wynonna’s face. She could hear Waverly somewhere in the office, out of breath, but calling out to her sister.

 

“Wynonna, don’t!”

 

Nicole looked from Wynonna to the door, where Waverly was quickly approaching in the midst of her own impersonation of stormy weather. It was a markedly shorter and more compact version of a storm cloud than Wynonna’s, but Waverly’s purposeful walk was enough to make Nicole’s newest deputy cower in fear. Nicole looked away from Waverly to face Wynonna, who was now standing in the middle of her office visibly fuming.

 

“I knew things would get too weird and you’d hurt her. I fucking knew it!” Wynonna said.

 

“Wait, that’s not…” Nicole began to speak, but before she could finish her sentence, Wynonna swung her arm back, curling her hand into a fist.

 

Seconds later, when that fist made contact with Nicole’s face, all thought of adorable storm clouds evaporated, replaced with stinging pain and seething anger.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> True story: this has been one of the most stressful, anxiety-provoking weeks in recent memory. I think it helped fuel Waverly and Nicole's fraught conversation. I know many of you have been hoping for this type of discussion between the two, so I hope I did it justice.
> 
> As always, comments make my world go 'round. What did you think? Write me an essay. 500 words by tomorrow (not really, but I do read every word you write to me!). I'd love to know what you think about some of the hard truths revealed in this chapter.
> 
> Come say hello on Twitter: @wrackwonder


	7. Chapter 7

The office was frenzied, frustratingly so, and Nicole lowered herself into her chair and frowned. Her face hurt and the hand she had pressed to her eye-socket was doing nothing to help the pain, but she wasn’t sure what else to do.

 

Because Waverly was yelling at Wynonna and Wynonna was yelling at Waverly and Jeremy had showed up suddenly and he was yelling too. Even Doc had popped his head through the door, but upon hearing the noise, he shook his head and mumbled something about “women’s issues,” before shuffling away down the hall.

 

“I mean, she kinda deserved it,” Jeremy said, shrugging his shoulders and Wynonna thrust both hands in his direction and violently nodded.

 

“See!”

 

“Jeremy, not helping!” Waverly barked in response, and Nicole could only wonder what Waverly had said to Wynonna. Had she taken out an ad in the _Purgatory Gazette_? Big Bad Girlfriend Says No To Marriage Proposal? Did Doc know? Did the stray cat outside the grocery store know? Did anyone remember that she was even in the room?

 

Before Nicole could gather herself to speak, her deputy marched in holding a bag of peas.

 

“Here, Sheriff,” she said, walking between the arguing Earp sisters to hand Nicole the bag.

 

“Thanks, Dottie, I appreciate it.”

 

Nicole pressed the icy package to her face and winced.

 

“Just press it like…yep, there you go,” Dottie leaned forward, her hand innocently brushing over Nicole’s to hold the bag to the injured skin, but before Nicole could say another word, Waverly was in her line of vision.

 

“I’ve got it,” she said, bumping into Dottie with her hip. The whole thing was ridiculous, beyond ridiculous, and Nicole just wanted to continuously hit her head against the desk, which would only lead to more facial pain, so she refrained.

 

“Thanks, Officer Smith, we can take it from here,” Nicole said instead, standing from her desk.

 

“Sure thing, Sheriff.”

 

Dottie strolling out of the office without realizing that Waverly was essentially breathing fire in her wake.

 

“New deputy?” Waverly asked, but before anyone else could comment, Nicole raised her free hand, silencing them.

 

“Everyone needs to leave,” she said.

 

“This isn’t over, Haught!” Wynonna huffed.

 

“Are you guys okay? Have you talked? You should talk,” Jeremy offered, which made Wynonna roll her eyes.

 

“You heard her, everyone leave,” Waverly began, but Nicole shook her head. She wondered if anyone noticed her jaw twitching beneath the bag of peas.

 

“You too,” Nicole said.

 

Waverly looked shocked.

 

“But I…”

 

“This is where I work. I’m the Sheriff, in case you all forgot. So unless you want me to arrest Wynonna for assaulting a police officer, everyone get out of this office. Now.”

 

“Wait, Nicole…”

 

“Go,” Nicole said, trying to keep her voice steady. She was angry, but she didn’t want to destroy the progress she’d made with Waverly during their morning discussion.

 

Wynonna and Jeremy walked out, but not before Wynonna flipped Nicole the bird.

 

“I’ll talk to her,” Waverly said, awkwardly heading for the door.

 

“I think you’ve done enough of that for today, don’t you?”

 

It was cruel, but Nicole could feel her face bruising. She had little patience left.

 

“Will I see you later?” Waverly hovered in the doorway, looking small and a little lost.

 

Nicole sighed and sat down again. Team Earp gave little thought to schedules or lives outside of their office. She knew Waverly meant well, but the throbbing pain in her face was a reminder that their problems were still very much alive and well and unsorted.

 

“I don’t know. I work all day and then I’ve got a thing tonight.”

 

“A thing?”

 

“Yeah. For Nedley. I won’t be home until late.”

 

“Okay,” Waverly said. She looked back once more before disappearing from view and Nicole finally had a chance to rest her head on the desk.

 

The bag of peas was wet and unpleasant and Nicole briefly wondered if it was permissible for the Sheriff of Purgatory to close the office door and take a nap on the couch. Or scream. Or break the desk and the chair and the stupid taxidermized fish Nedley had left on the wall.

 

“What are you looking at?” She growled towards the large, unblinking trout.

 

But the fish only stared back, omnipresent and silent, much like the frustration growing in Nicole’s belly.

 

~*~

 

_“You can’t come with us.”_

_“Like hell, Wynonna!”_

_The entrance to the cave was dark, but otherwise unremarkable. There were no statues or magical swords or moving trees. It was a cave in the midst of a clearing. The ground was covered in fallen leaves and the trees looked bare and silent. Their camp consisted of a small bonfire and a pile of equipment, mostly supplied by Nedley and Nicole’s climbing gear. Wynonna had Doc’s pistols strapped to her waist and Jeremy was holding his customized plastic gun._

_Nicole was also armed to the teeth – a hatchet at her hip, alongside her standard pistol. She moved to push past Wynonna, but Wynonna stopped her, a gloved hand hard against her shoulder._

_“Nicole, you’re the carrot.”_

_“A ginger joke? Now?”_

_“No, that’s not what I mean.”_

_Wynonna was uncharacteristically serious, and it stilled Nicole. Somehow, she knew that whatever Wynonna was about to say would be convincing. It was a new and unexpected feeling._

_“If something happens to me in there, the only reason she’ll fight to get out is you,” Wynonna said._

_“I can help. You need my help,” Nicole tried to argue._

_“I need you out here. With Nedley.”_

_“Listen, I know I’m not the guardian or whatever, but…”_

_“Exactly. You’re not. But you’re the love of my sister’s life and I won’t have Waverly stuck in there forever if I don’t make it out alive.”_

_Wynonna had chosen an annoying time to be logical. Nicole wanted nothing more than to march into the cave, to see Waverly and bring her home. But someone had to stay behind, someone had to make sure that dark forces didn’t attack the cave while Wynonna and Jeremy were in the Garden. And that someone was likely Nicole._

_“Wynonna, I want to help,” Nicole said, lamely._

_“You are. Kill anything that moves while we’re gone.”_

_Nicole nodded, defeated._

_“Bring our girl home,” she said._

_Wynonna straightened her back, her face hard in the grey daylight._

_“If I don’t…”_

_“No, Wynonna…”_

_“If I don’t, you need to call Gus.”_

_“Wynonna…”_

_“Nicole. Please.”_

_Nicole lowered her head, feeling the cold seep into her boot. Nedley had already taken his place by the fire and Jeremy was waiting at the cave’s entrance, fidgeting with his jacket._

_“I’ll take care of it. And Alice. With my life, Wynonna, forever.”_

_“You’ll tell Alice? About me? And her daddy?”_

_“Yes, I swear. You’ll tell Waverly?”_

_“You tell her,” Wynonna smirked, the false confidence doing little to quiet Nicole’s nerves._

_They were hugging then, fiercely. Wynonna’s hands briefly clawed into the back of Nicole’s jacket in an odd leave-taking and then she was gone, across the clearing, standing next to Jeremy._

_“Bye, bye, bitches!” She called._

_Nicole watched her disappear, raising her hand in farewell, still touched by the warmth of Wynonna’s cheek against her shoulder._

~*~

 

White, powdery snow fell slowly from the sky, blanketing the highway in what should have been a joyful reminder of the holiday season. But Nicole did not feel joyful. Behind the wheel of her cruiser, she fidgeted uncomfortably, trying to avoid looking at the clock or feeling the throbbing ache in her cheek.

 

Taking Nedley’s job meant taking Nedley’s responsibilities and part of his responsibilities included all the side deals he had made over the years to keep Purgatory’s police department’s budget afloat. Apparently, security jobs weren’t beneath Randy Nedley’s list of acceptable money-making schemes, which is why Nicole had found herself one town over, dressed in a rented tux, watching the mayor and his cronies toast themselves over a new bridge. The bridge would destroy the town’s oldest neighbourhood and numerous small business, but the mayor seemed not to care and Nicole spent the night gritting her teeth and telling herself that reaching for her side-arm was not an option.

 

Her bruised face gave her an air of danger and the people at the party, when they could spare her a glance, seemed curious or intimidated. Except the mayor’s wife who had slipped Nicole her phone number on a napkin, the impression of a kiss left in lipstick clearly on its side. The napkin weighed heavily in Nicole’s pocket all night until she had stepped out of the building, crumpled the offensive object, and tossed it in the trash next to empty coffee cups and a few bags of dog shit.

 

Part of her wanted to call Waverly and laugh about it. And another part, a meaner part, wanted to call Waverly and gloat. But mostly, Nicole wanted to go home. She wanted her own house and her cat. She wanted to toss the tuxedo jacket and the suspenders and the gun. Her tie was too tight and the top button rubbed uncomfortably against her throat beneath her scarf and jacket. She wanted to go home and she wanted…she wanted so many things.

 

She could go to the Homestead, but the Homestead meant confronting Wynonna and the Homestead meant driving on the highway in slippery conditions and both scenarios felt like too much effort. So with little thought, Nicole turned her car towards Purgatory, left instead of right, and tried to distract herself with an old song on the radio about lost loves or lost dogs or lost trailer tractors. It was always one of the three.

 

And then there was the growing pile of files on her desk at work. Files that described a fire at the local cider distillery and the destruction of a nearby apple orchard. Purgatory wasn’t exactly on the tourist track, but acts of arson and public mayhem did little to encourage curious travellers. It was Nicole’s job to keep Purgatory and her citizens safe and someone was out there setting trees on fire and ruining businesses and livelihoods. Which was far less glamorous than demonic, biblical invaders. Less glamorous, but no less important in Nicole’s mind. The files would keep for the night, but she’d have to deal with them in the morning. Another things to worry about. Another weight on her shoulders.

 

The sight of her street was welcome, as was the familiar assortment of family homes and Christmas lights, but as she approached her house, she realized that she would not get the solitude she desired.

  
Waverly’s jeep was parked on the road and she could see a light on in the kitchen. She was surprised, and then she felt guilty over her surprise because Waverly was a caring, empathetic person. And Nicole knew that Waverly loved her, she did not doubt that love, but still, she didn’t think that Waverly would come over after the day they’d had.

 

Nicole kicked off her shoes in the entrance and looked around, smiling a little at the bowl of popcorn on the floor next to the couch. She shed her coat and then her blazer, followed by the tie around her neck. Loosening the top button, Nicole wandered into the kitchen and leaned against the doorway, rolling up her sleeves before she spoke.

 

“Hey,” she said. Wavelry had obviously heard her come in and turned, eyes widening at the sight of Nicole’s outfit.

 

Waverly licked her lips and Nicole smirked.

 

“I, um, hi?”

 

Nicole crossed the room, opening the cupboard next to Waverly’s head, and removed a glass and a bottle of whiskey. She poured herself one glass, downing it in seconds, and then poured a second shot. This one she would nurse slowly. The first one was for warmth. The second was for pleasure.

 

“That new?” Waverly asked, pointing to the bottle.

 

Nicole shrugged. She crossed the room and sat down at the kitchen table.

 

“I spent a lot of time with your sister,” Nicole answered. At the mention of Wynonna, Waverly frowned. She picked up her half-finished glass of wine and followed Nicole, sitting across from her at the table.

 

Nicole briefly took a moment to look at her girlfriend, to take in the thin, embroidered blouse and the skirt riding up her thighs as she sat. Waverly made every outfit look effortless, she had a sense of style that city-dwelling hipsters could only dream of, but Nicole knew there was nothing purposefully trendy in Waverly’s dress. In some way, her fashion sense was her means of expression. As a woman who sometimes struggled with words, Waverly’s clothes always told a story. And Nicole wondered what the sheer shirt and short skirt were trying to say.

 

“I’m sorry about this morning,” Waverly said. Nicole sipped her drink.

 

“What exactly did you tell her?”

 

“She saw me come downstairs, I was upset…”

 

“And then, what? Did you tell Jeremy? And Doc? Stick it on Facebook?”

 

Waverly cowered a little and Nicole resisted the urge to apologize.

 

“I tried to explain, but you know how she is. And she yelled it at Jeremy. I’m sorry.”

 

Nicole nodded. She noticed Waverly eyeing her suspenders, the open collar, and the rolled-up sleeves. There was a strange energy between them, Nicole felt as if she could reach out and touch it, grab hold of it, but she wasn’t quite ready to test it yet. Not with the sting of her bruised face still so strong. Instead, she took another drink, enjoying the burn of the whiskey in her throat.

 

“You have a new deputy?” Waverly asked.

 

There it was. Nicole lowered her glass and shot a look at Waverly. Waverly met her gaze, a challenge in her quirked eyebrow and crossed arms.

 

“Dottie?”

 

“Yes. _Dottie_.” The distaste was evident in Waverly’s voice.

 

“You mean Dottie who couldn’t get hired in the big city because she was pregnant? Who I gave a job because she has a stellar record and she’s a damn good cop? Dottie whose husband is a stay-at-home dad who makes ceramic donkeys on Etsy as a side gig? That Dottie?”

 

Waverly swallowed hard.

 

“She named her son after me. Sort of. His middle name is Nicholas. Cute kid.”

 

They were playing an excruciating game. Waverly tossed a ball and Nicole hit it back.

 

“Oh. That’s…”

 

“Do you think I’d cheat on you.” The whiskey made Nicole’s words come easier, not that she usually had trouble with words. But she was feeling braver than usual, less ready to forgive and forget.

 

“What? No!”

 

“Do you trust me?”

 

“Of course I do, it’s just…you’re…” Waverly motioned with one hand towards Nicole, clearly exasperated with her inability to articulate her feelings.

 

“I’m…”

 

“Ugh, I suck with words. I don’t even know what I’m trying to say!”

 

“Aren’t you the one with a degree in languages?” Nicole asked, smiling over the rim of her glass. Waverly’s shoulder’s slumped.

 

“It’s only an online degree,” she said.

 

“Hey,” Nicole lowered her glass to the table and reached for Waverly’s knee, settling a comforting hand on the bare skin, “it’s a real degree. You earned it, Waverly.”

 

“I did it because I thought I was an Earp, that maybe I could be the heir. It was stupid. I was stupid.”

 

“Waverly, why are you talking like this? You’re so smart, genius level smart.”

 

“Jeremy is genius level smart, I’m just…me.”

 

Nicole wondered how often people had told Waverly that she was intelligent. Gus surely saw how smart Waverly was and nurtured her inquisitive mind. But before Gus, Ward had barely wanted Waverly in the house. Did he read to her? Did he buy her books? Did she have any teachers in school who saw how special she was and helped guide her?

 

“Jeremy _is_ a genius. Doesn’t mean you aren’t a genius too.” Nicole circled her thumb over Waverly’s kneecap.

 

“I’m so stupid, Nicole. I thought everything would be the same, but it’s not.”

 

“You mean with us?” Nicole suddenly regretted the alcohol. Her heart beat heavily in her chest.

 

“Yes? With everything? And then I saw Dottie in your office and I’d never seen her before, she’s just this new person who suddenly has frozen peas on hand and you’re on a first name basis and…”

 

“And this morning,” Nicole said, knowing that their conversation had likely shaken Waverly.

 

“How could I not even think about where we’d live when we got married? I honestly didn’t think about it. And then Wynonna punched you? Which I realize is classic Wynonna behaviour, but she punched you and I want to marry you and my sister is going around hitting you!”

 

“Well, that’s not much different from when you left,” Nicole smiled and Waverly shook her head and downed the rest of her wine.

 

“I thought the world would stop, but it didn’t, and it just feels like a lot. I don’t even know where to start.”

 

“This is good…what we’re doing right now.”

 

“Talking?”

 

“Yeah. Talking. Because the world did stop, Waverly. My world did. Purgatory? Not so much, but my world without you? I spent nearly every day at the Homestead and when I was here? Calamity Jane and I watched _Silence of the Lambs_ every week…sometimes twice a week. It was dark.”

 

“We’re tossing that DVD,” Waverly said and then giggled when Nicole gasped.

 

“Um. How dare you! I feel attacked right now!”

 

“Says the woman dressed like _that_.”

 

Nicole leaned forward in her chair, resting one elbow on her knee.

 

“You like the tux?”

 

Waverly nodded, openly ogling Nicole’s shoulders and throat and chest.

 

“I’m glad we’re talking, baby,” Nicole said, softly, “And you don’t have to do any of this alone. I’m right here. I’m going to be right here until you tell me not to be.”

 

“I’m never going to tell you that. Ever.” Waverly’s voice was low, it had taken on a different shade, a familiar, warm shade.

 

“Okay. Then tell me this – what feels the scariest right now?”

 

Waverly cast her eyes down in thought. Nicole continued her gentle movements against Waverly’s knee, pushing her fingers a little further up Waverly’s thigh. After a moment, Waverly looked up and squared her shoulders.

 

“My body,” she said.

 

The answer surprised Nicole. She had expected Waverly to say something about Wynonna, about Wynonna’s fears or Wynonna’s behaviour.

 

“You mean your back?” Nicole wanted to tread gently, she didn’t want to make Waverly have a discussion she wasn’t ready for.

 

“I can feel them moving…under my skin…I hate it.”

 

“Does it hurt?”

 

“No, not really, I…I just don’t want them. I hate that I’m so aware of them.”

 

Nicole reached for Waverly’s hand on the table.

 

“Do you want to call Dr. Murray again? She seemed to know a lot about this kind of thing,” Nicole said.

 

Waverly shook her head.

 

“I know I just need to get used to it and accept it, but I don’t _want_ them. I didn’t choose to have them or be what I am…I’m not an angel, Nicole.”

 

Nicole tilted her head and closed her mouth. Her gut response was to tell Wavelry that she was wrong, that she _was_ an angel, that she was precious and pure and something divine. But the darkness in Waverly’s eyes stilled her words.

 

“I’m just me,” Waverly said, “I’m just Waverly. I spent my whole life wanting to be the heir and when I finally found out that I was special? It almost killed me. And Doc. And now I can’t even control my own body.”

 

“Baby, last time we had sex, were you, I mean…we don’t ever have to do that again.” Nicole hated the idea that any intimacy between them had caused Waverly distress.

 

“No, no, it just felt so good. And then it felt confusing because I don’t want it to feel good. Do you know angels have to be obedient to God? And they’re not human? And they don’t get married? I don’t want to be an angel. I don’t want to be good and obedient, I just want to be me.”

 

“Then that’s what you’ll be, Waverly,” Nicole said, smiling a little when Waverly looked at her with the flicker of hope in her eyes.

 

“How? I have wings, Nicole. Wings that could pop out any second. Oh and I might be eternal.”

 

“Wait, what?”

 

“I should stop reading the bible, right? It’s giving me nightmares.”

 

“I mean, according to the bible, I should go to hell for wearing pants so maybe it’s best to put it down for now?”

 

Waverly let go of Nicole’s hand and settled her palm against Nicole’s knee. They were sitting so closely, Nicole could feel the heat from Waverly’s body.

 

“Angels probably aren’t supposed to have the kind of thoughts I’m having about you in those suspenders,” Waverly whispered and Nicole raised an eyebrow.

 

The conversation flickered between serious and seductive. It was hard to keep up, but Nicole also knew that giving into lust could be dangerous, especially when they were just starting to communicate with each other. She wanted to focus on words before she gave into the blush on Waverly’s cheek and the softness of Waverly’s thigh against her fingers.

 

“You can’t choose your genetics,” Nicole said, leaning forward to press her forehead against Waverly’s, “but your body is your own, Baby. It’s yours. It may take some time to adapt to this new part, but no one can tell you what to do or how to feel about it. Not me. Not your family. Not even Julian.”

 

“Am I dishonouring him somehow if I never learn how to use these wings? If I never let myself learn?”

 

“No,” Nicole rubbed her nose gently against Waverly’s and kissed her cheek, “your body belongs to you. Only you.”

 

“That’s not exactly true, Nicole,” Waverly said. The way she spoke the words made Nicole squirm in her chair.

 

“Oh?”

 

“My body is yours too.”

 

There was that ball again, tossed in challenge, but this time Nicole was not as quick to hit it back. It landed heavily against her chest, a weight on her lungs, and all she could do was try to breathe through the sudden overwhelming sensation that the room was so warm that it must be on fire.

 

Waverly shifted in her chair, spreading her legs just a little, but it made the hand Nicole had settled on Waverly’s knee jolt downwards, until she was stroking the soft skin of Waverly’s inner thigh.

 

Nicole wasn’t sure how to respond to Waverly’s words. They thrilled her, but at the same time, she couldn’t shake the tinge of worry they elicited in her heart.

 

“Hey, James Bond, take me upstairs?” Waverly playfully closed her knees, trapping Nicole’s hand.

 

The conversation dipped and dragged and fluttered before Nicole’s face like spider webs. She caught sight of it when the light was right, but from certain angles, it became invisible, imperceptible. They weren’t done talking, there was something more here, something in Waverly’s eyes…but then Nicole’s finger tips grazed Waverly’s panties, her wet, warm panties, and Nicole was, as she was reminded far too often, only human.

 

“As you wish,” Nicole said. She didn’t need to be asked twice.

 

~*~

 

Waverly disrobed quickly, tossing her shirt and skirt on the floor before Nicole had fully entered the room. She was naked and determined and Nicole wasn’t quite sure what to do. Because she couldn’t shake the feeling that Waverly was off somehow.

 

She remembered when Waverly had been possessed by a demon, how she’d tasted different, how her behaviour wasn’t exactly right. How she’d been Waverly and not Waverly all at the time. And while Waverly was certainly no longer possessed, her wantonness struck the wrong chord.

 

Nicole knew that Waverly liked to perform sometimes, but this wasn’t a sexy Santa suit or a cheerleading outfit. Waverly was naked and bent over the bed and looked at Nicole with an expression that was nearly unreadable.

 

“Come here, gorgeous,” Waverly said.

 

Nicole crossed the room to stand behind Waverly, resting her hands on Waverly’s hips. They needed this type of communication too, Nicole told herself, _this_ was just as important as words.

 

“What does my baby want?” Nicole asked, licking her lips at the sight before her. Waverly bent over, her ass nearly pressing into Nicole’s pelvis. She was offering herself to Nicole, submitting to her, and Nicole was about to prompt Waverly for an answer when she noticed Waverly’s arms shaking.

 

“Waverly?”

 

“Hmmm?” The tremble of fear in Waverly’s voice was enough to make Nicole step back. She noticed the strange movements under the skin of Waverly’s shoulder blades as she did, how bone and muscle were moving. The ring had healed Waverly’s eyes and it had also removed the redness from Waverly’s wounds, but it was very obvious that Waverly’s anatomy had changed. That something was growing beneath the smooth plane of Waverly’s back and shoulders.

 

Nicole reached for the extra blanket at the foot of the bed and tossed it over Waverly’s body.

 

“Baby, can you look at me, please?” She asked.

 

Waverly curled into herself, pulling the blanket tightly around her back as she lowered herself to the bed.

 

“I thought I could do it,” she said.

 

“Do what?”

 

“You deserve it. After everything today. I thought I could do it.”

 

Nicole lay down on the bed so that she could face Waverly, so they could lie side by side. Waverly’s hair covered her face so Nicole reached out, gently brushing it back to reveal sad, tired eyes.

 

“Do what?” Nicole asked again.

 

“Whatever you wanted to do…to me…”

 

“Waverly, no, baby, no that’s not…”

 

“I can feel them moving, in my back, I don’t…”

 

Nicole reached out, gently resting her hand on Waverly’s blanket covered arm.

 

“Are you sure you don’t want to call Dr. Murray?”

 

“No. I just…I wanted to give you this and I can’t even get it right!”

 

“Baby, you don’t have to _give_ me sex. Just because we had a tough day, you’re not obligated to do anything you don’t want to do.” Nicole was increasingly uncomfortable with Waverly’s state of mind.

 

She sensed that her girlfriend was struggling through an anxiety attack, or at least the beginnings of one, and the idea that sex had somehow been on the table as punishment or reward made Nicole feel vaguely nauseas.

 

“I didn’t even think about where we would live. I didn’t even realize that I hadn’t told you about what’s happening with BBD. And then Wynonna punched you and I thought that very lovely, _very_ married deputy was hitting on you…”

 

Nicole wondered briefly if the entity that had followed Waverly from the garden was Jolene. But she also knew, deep down, that Waverly struggled silently with so many traumas, with so much change in such a short span of time. Jolene was dead and gone, but Waverly was hurting as if Jolene was still lurking in the shadows.

 

“We’re going to work through that, Waves, together. And you can’t apologize for your sister. She’s an adult, she makes her own choices. Dumb choices, but still, hers,” Nicole said, hoping her words would bring some comfort.

 

“What if I can’t…I mean…last time…I…”

 

“Baby, baby, you’re safe here. With me. You can say anything. Do you want me to get you some PJs? We can go downstairs and watch a movie? Or we can just sleep?”

 

“No. I want…shit, why is this so hard?”

 

“Start at the beginning, okay? Deep breath.”

 

Waverly obeyed, squeezing her eyes closed while she inhaled. She wiggled one hand out of the blanket and reached for Nicole who released her grip on Waverly’s bicep and accepted the open palm.

 

“I was mad this morning. At myself. And you,” Waverly said.

 

“That’s okay, Waverly. You’re allowed to be mad.”

 

“And then at your office, when you told me to leave? I was scared, so I decided to come over and seduce you or confront you or maybe both?”

 

Nicole smiled and nodded, encouraging Waverly to continue.

 

“But then you walked in looking like _that_ …and you told me that Dottie was just some nice lady who named her freaking kid after you, and I didn’t want to seduce you anymore. I wanted you to…to punish me…I felt like I deserved to be punished.”

 

“Like…sexually?” Nicole kept her voice soft.

 

“Yeah. It sounds really stupid.”

 

“No, but Waverly, I don’t ever want you to feel like that.”

 

“I’m all mixed up, Nicole.”

 

“It’s okay, Baby. I just…there’s a difference between rough sex or BDSM and _punishment_. I don’t want to cross that line. We can try whatever you want and we have a safe word and you look really great in my handcuffs, but it’s never punishment, Waverly. You don’t deserve pain.”

 

The very idea horrified Nicole. Physical intimacy was sacred, the consent they’d granted each other was more binding than a blood oath. Nicole wondered how often Waverly had been made to behave contrary to her own wishes. How many times had Champ guilted her into a blowjob behind the bleachers? A quick fuck at Shorty’s while she was trying to work? Nicole moved closer on the bed, holding Waverly’s hand between their two bodies.

 

“There’s another thing. Another reason I wanted you tonight…besides always wanting you.”

 

“I always want you too, even when I’m kicking you out of my office,” Nicole said, pleased when the corners of Waverly’s lips lifted.

 

“This is so embarrassing to say out loud,” Waverly said, the hint of a smile disappearing.

 

“It’s okay, Waves, it’s just me. It’s us.”

 

Waverly seemed to snuggle even further into the bed, the thin blanket not enough to keep her warm.

 

“Last time we had sex…I…what if I can’t…finish…without _them_ involved?”

 

Nicole sensed that this confession was at the centre of Waverly’s fear. Her loss of control, her inability to make choices about her own body, how it reacted, how _she_ reacted. Waverly’s feelings were valid and real and Nicole wanted so badly to to share them, to stop them from causing the hurt in Waverly’s eyes.

 

“Babe, what can I do? Are you sure you don’t just want to go watch a movie? I can make you some hot chocolate?”

 

“No. No. I want you. I need you because…sometimes….when we argue and then after it’s like…”

 

“It’s like we’re talking without saying words?”

 

“Yeah. Exactly. It’s annoying that you’re so articulate right now. Stop being sexy and articulate, Nicole Rayleigh Haught,” Waverly grumbled, but the laugh-lines near her eyes crinkled.

 

It struck Nicole in that moment that Charlie‘s eyes did the same thing. She squeezed Waverly’s hand and her heart ached, thinking of all Waverly had lost.

 

“Well, I think we should avoid your shoulder blades for now. Or until you're comfortable,” Nicole said. Waverly nodded profusely.

 

“Jeremy came up behind me today and I nearly jumped in the air. I hate feeling so out of control of my own body.”

 

“We’re going to figure everything out, Baby, I promise. We are.” Nicole knew that she was repeating herself, that she had spent the better part of an hour assuring Waverly, but she believed her words and she wanted Waverly to believe them as well.

 

“Okay, here’s what we’re going to do,” Nicole said, rising from the bed.

 

“First, you need to get under the covers because I can see you shivering from here!”

 

She helped Waverly stand and quickly pulled down the bedspread. Wavelry happily crawled in, tossing her extra blanket to the side. The fact that Waverly was lying in her bed naked and a little vulnerable was not lost on Nicole, so she quickly started unbuttoning her shirt.

 

“Nicole, how long do you have the tux for?”

 

“A few more days. Why?”

 

“Because…”

 

“You want to do a sexy photoshoot, don’t you?”

 

“Totally.”

 

Nicole only shook her head and snorted. She stripped quickly, not wanting to leave Waverly exposed to the cool air in the room, and when she was naked, she carefully climbed on top of Waverly, laying herself over Waverly’s body and propping herself up on her elbows, lest all her weight crush the woman below. She reached for her quilt, pulling it up so it covered her shoulders, and suddenly they were cocooned in the bed, just the two of them, secure and warm, skin against skin, and Waverly sighed.

 

“Hi,” Waverly said, wrapping her arms loosely around Nicole’s back.

 

“You are ridiculously beautiful, you know that?” Nicole was looking down at Waverly, taking in her face and her hair and the feel of her.

 

“Says my supermodel girlfriend.”

 

Nicole shook her head in disbelief, but then refocused.

 

“Do you feel safe?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“And warm?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Okay, what’s scaring you in this very moment. Right here. Right now.”

 

Waverly lightly tickled Nicole’s back. Nicole felt Waverly’s breathing even out.

 

“That sex is ruined forever because I have erogenous angel wings.”

 

“Okay…” Nicole said, trying not to laugh.

 

“Is that the craziest sentence you’ve ever heard?”

 

“It comes close, but we run with demons, babe, I once ate a possessed lemon scone, it’s Purgatory.”

 

“So true.”

 

Waverly spread her legs a little and Nicole settled more snugly between them.

 

“What if we just try to see what feels good? No touching your back?”

 

“That sounds nice.”

 

Nicole shifted and smiled when she felt Waverly’s legs wrap around her hips.

 

“Don’t concentrate on finishing,” Nicole said. She gently thrust down, testing, trying not to smirk because Waverly was wet and she’d been wet since their conversation in the kitchen.

 

Waverly nodded and continued tracing lines across Nicole’s back.

 

Their breasts brushed against each other and Nicole reminded herself that she needed to concentrate, that tonight was about Waverly. Except Waverly was making little noises in the back of throat, and the smile on Waverly’s lips was so peaceful, and each thrust brought the faintest blush across Waverly’s cheeks and her chest that Nicole was having a difficult time staying on task.

 

She moved against Waverly softly, light-headed as she always was when they did this, when they pressed together so intimately, when she slipped against Waverly’s heat, when she could feel every swollen, aching inch of Waverly against her own swollen, aching centre.

 

“Feel good?” Nicole asked, panting, continuing her rhythm of thrusting up and then down, up and then down. Waverly nodded, the fingers on Nicole’s back disappearing as Waverly’s hands found purchase on Nicole’s cheeks.

 

“Kiss me, please?” Waverly’s breathing hitched as her hips rose, creating a new angle, a different angle, and Nicole opened her mouth to respond but could only moan.

 

When their lips met, they gasped against each other, and Nicole luxuriated in how smooth Waverly’s mouth felt, smooth and soft and warm. She dipped her tongue in, digging into the mattress with her elbows as she kissed Waverly soundly, trying to stay balanced while her whole body shook with the effort not to release.

 

“Oh fuck, Nicole…”

 

Waverly broke their kiss, tilting her head back, exposing her neck for Nicole’s waiting mouth.

 

“Just feel, Baby. Can you feel how much I want you?”

 

“Nicole…”

 

The legs around Nicole’s hips squeezed tight and then let go. Nicole felt rather than saw Waverly plant her feet firmly against the mattress. When Waverly pushed up, Nicole pushed down, grinding as hard as she could.

 

It was so hot under the blanket, sweat pooled between Waverly’s breasts and in the hollow of her throat and at her temples and Nicole’s vision felt cloudy as they slipped against each other. Nicole lowered her face between Waverly’s breasts, licking the wet skin there, sucking and teasing until Waverly’s hands found Nicole’s ass and pressed down.

 

“You’re so beautiful like this,” Nicole whispered, pressing her cheek to Waverly’s. Waverly hid her face against Nicole’s shoulders as their movements became increasingly frenzied.

 

“Fuck, _Nicole_ …”

 

Nicole reared up then, her hands on either side of Waverly’s head, and using her knees for leverage, she thrust hard and fast, sliding against Waverly, hitting just where Waverly needed her to hit, and when Waverly’s back arched, when Waverly’s hands bruised the skin of Nicole’s biceps, Nicole couldn’t hold back any longer.

 

She felt Waverly clench. She felt Waverly release. She felt the gush of Waverly against her and she cried out, shuddering against Waverly’s body, thrusting again and again as they came against each other.

 

They both lay shaking in the aftermath until Nicole felt the tightening of Waverly’s thighs against her own hips, as if she was trying to close her legs, and Nicole knew by instinct what Waverly needed.

 

She rolled off Waverly, trying to calm her own racing heart, and as they lay side by side, panting, Nicole reached between Waverly’s legs and cupped her. Waverly immediately squeezed her thighs shut, trapping Nicole’s hand and with a whispered _please_ , Nicole extended one finger, entering Waverly gently so she could feel the last of her orgasm.

 

Sometimes after, Waverly liked Nicole to stay inside, to hold her in this way, and Nicole always found it intoxicating and slightly overwhelming. To feel Waverly’s body move and shudder in such a secret place, to feel Waverly hold her there, it spoke more than any words. Nicole understood why Waverly had so desperately wanted sex because if she was honest, she’d needed it too, that reassurance, that language older than speech.

 

“Well, one problem solved,” Nicole said, her voice still strained.

 

“Mmmhmmm,” Waverly mumbled, eyelids heavy.

 

“We can…we can work on that anytime you want. Happy to…to help.”

 

Waverly responded by squeezing Nicole’s finger between her legs and it took all of Nicole’s restraint not to speak again. Because despite Waverly’s reservations, despite Waverly’s denial of her angelic nature, Nicole truly believed that Waverly’s body was sacred, a paradise on earth.

 

~*~

 

It was later, much later, when Waverly raised her head from Nicole’s shoulder and started talking again. Their bodies had cooled and while Waverly wasn’t comfortable with spooning just yet, Nicole loved the feel of her snuggled so close.

 

“I think Wynonna is scared. Of bringing Alice home,” Waverly said.

 

“Hmmm?”

 

“She thinks she’ll be a bad mom. Or that Purgatory is too dangerous. And then there’s Doc to deal with.”

 

“Yeah, that is a lot.” Nicole was sleepy, so it took her a few seconds to realize what was happening. Waverly was letting her in. A door had unlocked, a gate had swung open.  

 

“I’ve been thinking about the Homestead too,” Waverly said.

 

“Oh?” Nicole felt more awake.

 

“Curtis always said Da…Ward was a fool for letting the barn go to waste.”

 

“Ward was a fool for a lot of reasons,” Nicole said darkly.

 

“Yeah…true, but maybe Curtis was right? Because if Alice comes home, Wynonna needs a place too. And we can’t all fit in the house. But the barn…Curtis said it could be converted. I don’t know, just thinking out loud…I don’t want you to give up your house if you don’t want to, but we have so much land out there, and I know how much you love seeing the mountains…”

 

Nicole smiled and pressed a kiss to Waverly’s forehead. She felt hope, real hope, and that future that she couldn’t quite make out suddenly became more than a haze of smoke on the horizon. There was shape to it, abstract, translucent, but shape nonetheless.

 

“Hey, Waves?”

 

“Hmmm?”

 

“I love you.”

 

Nicole didn’t take the silence poorly. She knew how hard it was for Waverly, how difficult the words could be. She didn’t expect to hear them, she felt them in Waverly’s lips against her shoulder and Waverly’s fingers against her forearm, tracing the angel wing tattoo. So when a small voice whispered “I love you too. So much,” against her throat, Nicole forced herself not to cheer or burst into tears or jump from the bed and dance around the room.

 

Instead, she wrapped her arms more tightly around Waverly’s middle, careful to avoid her shoulders, and kissed the crown of honey-brown hair nestled beneath her chin. She settled next to Waverly, embracing the hope and joy and heartbreak of the evening. She quietly sniffed Waverly’s hair and luxuriated in the feel of Waverly’s fingertips against her arm. How often had she dreamed of just this? Of Waverly tracing the symbol on her skin, the symbol that promised their forever. She smiled and closed her eyes, the pain in her bruised cheek almost forgotten entirely.

 

Almost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've secretly been referring to this chapter as "The Pivot" all week long. Very curious to hear your thoughts. As always, your support and comments mean the world to me. I read each one, multiple times, and I cherish them. Let me know what you think!


	8. Chapter 8

Nicole’s newest deputy was notably the smallest she’d ever seen, but he seemed content to help her with paperwork. When he started to drool on her shoulder, however, she adjusted in her chair so she could look him at his tiny, chubby face.

 

“Cody, I know it’s boring, but this is serious business.”

 

The baby in her arms leaned back, as if to lift his little, blonde eyebrow in question, but instead he gurgled and drooled some more and then laughed when Nicole pulled a face in his direction.

 

“Cody, buddy, look at this. Here’s where we put the license plate number, yes, right there,” Nicole mumbled, bouncing Cody against her shoulder as she filled out the paper. “And here’s where we list cause of accident – we’ll just say _deer on the road_ because _Chupacabra_ attack is way too hard to explain…”

 

The baby made a noise that sounded like “gaaapffft” and Nicole nodded.

 

“Right? Weird town.”

 

They continued that way for a time, Cody making noises and spit bubbles and Nicole explaining the finer details of filing papers until there was a knock on the door.

 

“Oh, I didn’t know you had company?” Waverly leaned against the doorway, a funny expression on her face.

 

“Sure do. Cody Nicholas Smith-Augustus, meet Waverly Earp.”

 

Cody turned to the door and proceeded to try and shove his entire fist in his mouth.

 

“I know, little man, she’s beautiful, hey?”

 

“Oh my gosh, stop!” Waverly laughed, but when Cody reached out his tiny baby fist and wiggled his tiny baby fingers her way, Waverly obviously couldn’t resist his charm. She crossed the room and leaned over the desk, letting Cody wrap his hand around one of her fingers.

 

“Hey, now, she’s spoken for,” Nicole said, which made Waverly giggle some more. Nicole noticed that Waverly was still wearing the over-sized PPD sweatshirt she’d borrowed in the morning and an old pair of jeans that she’d left at Nicole’s house. It was a more demure look than she was used to from Waverly, but given Waverly’s discomfort over her back, Nicole understood.

 

Dottie chose that moment to walk into the office, baby bottle in hand, and she grinned at the sight before her.

 

“Hey, Dottie, he’s been great,” Nicole said, standing so she could hand Cody back to his mom.

 

“Thanks, Sheriff, you’re a life-saver. Mrs. Loblaw insisted I attend to her scratched rear-view mirror personally. No idea why…” Dottie lifted Cody from Nicole’s shoulder and effortlessly propped him up against her hip.

 

“Hi, Dottie, I’m Waverly. I was terribly rude the other day,” Waverly said, extending her hand. Waverly managed to be charming and bashful and kind all at the same time, so Dottie didn’t even hesitate before pulling Waverly in for a side-hug.

 

“Don’t even mention it! So glad you’re back from your internship in Thailand,” Dottie let go of Waverly, who shot Nicole a questioning glance. Nicole just shrugged in response.

 

“And before I forget,” Dottie said, reaching into the baby bag slung over one shoulder. Her hand emerged holding a painted, ceramic donkey, which she unceremoniously thrust into Waverly’s hand.

 

“My husband insisted! Heard you were back and they started painting right away!”

 

The donkey was light blue with birds of paradise painted over its torso. It was bright and vibrant and very Waverly.

 

“Thank them for me?” Waverly said, obviously stifling a laugh. Dottie didn’t notice.

 

“That’s my Kim, they can’t stop painting. The whole damn house is covered in donkeys.”

 

“dddaaanppbbllehh!” Cody added. Dottie took one more look at the two women in the room and nodded once, as if confirming something to herself.

 

“Well, I’m off. Thanks again, Sheriff. Randy should be in any second.”

 

“Thanks, Officer Smith. Have a good day!”

 

Nicole and Waverly watched Dottie leave the room, both waving at Cody, and then Waverly gingerly set the ceramic donkey on Nicole’s desk.

 

“I think I have ten of those. They even painted one in uniform for me,” Nicole said, eyeing the statue.

 

“It’s super sweet,” Waverly nodded, before hiding her hands in the front of the hoodie.

 

“Hey, baby,” Nicole said and Waverly blushed.

 

“Hi, love. Do you think you could come with me to BBD today?”

 

Nicole was slightly surprised, but hid it. She didn’t know if Waverly and Wynonna had spoken since the day before and she certainly didn’t know if Team Earp was willing to let her in. But Waverly was asking for her and it was nearly impossible to say no to Waverly.

 

“Of course. Yeah,” Nicole said. Before following Waverly from the room. She picked up two files from her desk on the way out.

 

Something about them, the orchard fire and the cider house arson, had her pondering if the files were better suited for BBD’s talents. Not that she couldn’t handle them, but there was just _something_ …Nedley would call it her ‘Purgatory sense’ needling her. She had learned long ago to trust her gut in these matters. Hopefully BBD would too.

 

~*~

 

They stopped in the washroom on their way to the office, silently agreeing that they needed a moment alone.

 

Nicole locked the door, hoping no one would need the public space for the next few minutes, as Waverly stood in front of the counter and looked at herself in the mirror.

 

“Could you check for me?” Waverly asked, pointing over her shoulder and Nicole gently grasped the hem of Waverly’s sweatshirt and pulled up, revealing smooth skin and twitching shoulder-blades. Nicole dropped her files on the counter next to Waverly’s purse and shifted her focus to the task at hand.

 

“Hurt?” Nicole asked.

 

“No, just…I don’t know, I thought maybe this would work?” Waverly pulled a jar of analgesic cream from her purse.

 

“Is it okay if I stand behind you?” Nicole asked. She was already somewhat behind Waverly, but she wanted to be sure.

 

Waverly nodded, offering a small smile.

 

“Going to use my hands, okay?”

 

“You better.”

 

The small smile turned into a smirk.

 

Waverly held the open jar while Nicole dipped her fingers into the cream. It smelled like menthol and it tingled against her fingertips. She spread a thin amount onto Waverly’s skin, actively keeping her face steady as she felt the shifting bone beneath her hands.

 

“Ohhh, tingly!” Waverly hunched her shoulders.

 

Nicole moved to the other side, resisting the urge to kiss the exposed skin, but she could tell from Waverly’s body language and the oversized sweater that her girlfriend was already feeling vulnerable.

 

“Hey, Nicole?”

 

Nicole looked up from her work, meeting Waverly’s eyes in the mirror.

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Did you have a nightmare last night?”

 

Nicole cast her eyes down.

 

“Yeah. Did I wake you?”

 

“No, but, it seemed like a bad one?”

 

The dreams used to be full of smoke and screams. They used to be dreams of Bulshar and the water and how cold and small she felt in the canoe. They used to be of a hand pulling her to safety, of darkness, of the feel of an oversized coat over her slim shoulders. Mostly, they were of the sound of trees cracking in heat and the smell of iron and of a woman with long hair running, her feet burning as she disappeared into amber flames.

 

Except now the dreams were of Waverly. Gone. Waverly screaming. Waverly overtaken by black, hideous scales, swords and heaven and Waverly always Waverly screaming and screaming and beyond her grasp. And she didn’t want to place that on Waverly’s shoulders. She didn’t want Waverly to know that she was both Nicole’s dream come true and her nightmare. So all she did was shrug and shake her head and offer Waverly a reassuring smile.

 

“It’s fine, babe.”

 

“You can rely on me, you know? I want to be there for you. I _am_ there for you, like you’re there for me. If you want me to be?”

 

Nicole stilled her actions.

 

“I know, love. I just like to be strong for you,” Nicole said.

 

“You are strong for me. Everyday. But I can be strong for you too.”

 

For the most part, Nicole had been the one to voice her concerns and her displeasures and the work they needed to do. So to hear Waverly voice some of her needs and wants, it made Nicole smile despite her discomfort with the echoes of the dream still in her mind. They both needed things from each other. They both had a lot to work on. But they were working, actively, together, _working_.

 

“Thanks, Waves. You’re the strongest person I know. And I’m not just saying that because I love you and you look so incredibly beautiful today.”

 

Waverly blushed and shook her head.

 

“Please, I’m covered in muscle cream and this shirt is three times too big!”

 

“True, but it’s my shirt. You look good in my clothes.”

 

Waverly took a step back, purposely bumping into Nicole with her ass. It was a bold move, and a brave move, and one that spoke of how much trust existed between them.

 

“You can kiss me, you know,” Waverly said, “it’s okay.”

 

Nicole settled her hands lightly on Waverly hips, letting Waverly hold the sweater up, her back still exposed. The anatomy beneath her shoulder-blades had stilled, the medicated ointment doing enough to settle the muscle for the time being. Nicole lowered her head, just enough to kiss the nape of Waverly’s neck. She stopped when she felt Waverly inhale sharply.

 

“That okay?”

 

“Yeah. Anytime you get close to them…”

 

“It’s okay to be scared.”

 

“I hate being scared.”

 

“Me too,” Nicole said.

 

“Speaking of scared…” Waverly picked up the files that Nicole had left on the counter.

 

“Right. BBD. Team Earp and all that.” Nicole sounded less than enthusiastic and Waverly turned, raising her free hand to cup Nicole’s cheek.

 

“Hey, you _are_ Team Earp. Me and you? We’re a team too. But you and Wynonna need to work out your differences, not just for me, I think you two need each other.”

 

“She hit the face, Waverly, _the face_.”

 

“Oh, trust me, she’s heard plenty from me on the topic,” Waverly said, shaking her head as she did.

 

“Every time I feel like I’m moving forward with you guys something throws me back and I’m outside again.” It was a vulnerable confession, Nicole immediately regretted speaking, except Waverly’s hand was still holding her face and Waverly’s eyes were soft.

 

“I didn’t see things before, I missed so much, but I won’t this time, and if I get distracted you just give me a little nudge. Okay?” Wavelry set the files down against so she could hold Nicole’s face in both hands, her thumbs gently stroking Nicole’s chin.

 

“We’re a team too?”

 

“I’ll make us t-shirts.”

 

“Deal.”

 

Nicole pressed a quick kiss to Waverly’s forehead and retrieved her files. They set off arm in arm, both pausing in the doorway to look at each other one last time.

 

“We’re off to see Wynonna?” Waverly asked, shooting Nicole a cheeky grin.

 

“Sure. Sounds like a party.”

 

Nicole took a deep breath and followed Waverly into the hallway.

 

~*~

 

Walking into the BBD office felt oddly like walking into a new school in the middle of the semester. Technically, BBD was renting office space in _her_ station, but Nicole grit her teeth and squared her shoulders as she followed Waverly into the room.

 

Jeremy was the first to notice her and he did a double take before slamming his laptop closed.

 

“Sheriff!” He said, spreading his arms in exaggerated welcome. Nicole shot him a weak smile.

 

Doc had sequestered himself to a back corner, his boots up on a desk, and if he noticed Nicole, he made no sign of it. Instead, he took another puff on his cigarillo and settled deeper into his chair, his hat and coat collar hiding his face.

 

And then there was Wynonna. There was always Wynonna. Standing at a map pinned to a bulletin board, eyeing Waverly first and then Nicole. For someone who lived most of her life on the margins, who was the very definition of a problem child, Wynonna had somehow become the most popular girl in school. If school was BBD. And Nicole didn’t run with the popular crowd. She never had.

 

“Nicole has some files we should look at,” Waverly said, breezing through the space.

 

“Great. Leave them on the desk,” Wynonna gestured to one of the messy tables in the room. Nicole tightened her grip on the documents.

 

“No, silly, Nicole is staying!”

 

Wynonna straightened her posture and rested her hands on her hips. Peacemaker was long gone, but it had been replaced with Dolls’ sidearm, a less mystical, but no less powerful weapon.

 

“I can help, Wynonna,” Nicole said. Wynonna remained quiet, eyeing Nicole, and then shrugged, stepping away from the map.

 

“So, we’ve been tracking strange occurrences across the Ghost River Triangle,” Waverly stepped into the awkward silence, pointing to different pins in the map.

 

“What kind of strange occurrences?” Nicole asked, leaning across a table to study the map.

 

“Fires mostly, ghostly sightings, but mostly fires.”

 

“There’s no pattern to it,” Jeremy added, loudly clicking the pen in his hand, “but we don’t think the trees are moving again. They’re just…on fire now? Which is better? Maybe?”

 

Nicole nodded in thought.

 

“We’ve had multiple arsons reported, but you’re right, no pattern,” Nicole glanced at her files and then reached for the small box of pins next to the map.

 

“This okay?” She asked Wynonna. Wynonna shrugged. Nicole rolled her eyes and pressed a tack into the site of the cider house fire and the apple orchard robbery.

 

“Trees, apples…what kind of hippie stoner did you guys release from the garden?” Wynonna’s question hung uncomfortably in the air. Wavelry visibly winced at the mention of the garden and Doc’s boots hit the floor hard as he swung around in his chair.

 

“This exercise is meaningless,” he said, standing suddenly and crossing the room.

 

“Now, now, Doc, this is science,” Jeremy reasoned, but Doc was obviously in no mood for persuasion.

 

“I will be in my bar should anyone wish to plot a course of action. In the meantime, enjoy your _science_. I will enjoy my drink. Wynonna?” Doc was already half-way out the door when he turned.

 

“Huh?” Wynonna crossed her arms, scowling.

 

“Do not be late.”

 

And then Doc was gone, leaving only a puff of cigarillo smoke in his wake.

 

“His time of the month,” Wynonna grumbled and the remaining members of Team Earp shifted uncomfortably where they stood.

 

“So…meeting over?” Jeremy looked from Waverly to Wynonna and they both shrugged.

 

“Can you add Nicole’s stuff into the database?” Wynonna asked, eyeing Nicole’s files while very obviously trying not to appear interested.

 

“Yeah, for sure, PPD still on the job?” Jeremy spun towards Nicole.

 

“No, the tape is down, you can take one of my deputies if you want. Derek knows the cider house really well.”

 

“Awesome! Waverly? Care to be the Holmes to my Watson?”

 

“Obviously I’m the Watson to your Holmes,” Waverly laughed, already reaching for her coat.

 

As Jeremy gathered up his belongings, Waverly reached for Nicole’s hand, pulling her forward. Wynonna was brooding darkly next to the map, deep in what were some apparently unpleasant thoughts.

 

“You wanna come over tonight? Wynonna has to be away, so I was thinking date night?” Waverly asked, looking up at Nicole with that hopeful smile that could likely absolve her of a mass-murder charge.

 

“Date night sounds nice,” Nicole said, the very idea filling her chest with warmth. She wasn’t sure how her “meeting” with BBD had gone. It was short and not very sweet at all and it was obvious that Doc and Wynonna were none too pleased with each other, but no one had kicked her out of the room or set the map on fire, so maybe her reintroduction to Team Earp had been successful after all.

 

“Good. I’ll make you dinner.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“Mmmhmmm. Don’t be late,” Wavelry winked, rising on her toes to plant a quick kiss on Nicole’s mouth. Nicole smiled against Waverly’s lips.

 

“Wouldn’t dream of it. Be careful, okay?”

 

“Always! Bye Wynonna!” Waverly waved and pranced out of the room next to Jeremy. Their animated chatter filled the station until both Nicole and Wynonna heard the main doors swing open and shut.

 

Waverly’s presence always brought warmth and light. Without her, the room suddenly felt tense, uncomfortable, and Nicole wondered if she should leave. Except Wynonna looked so troubled and Nicole knew Wynonna, she knew her because for six months they had been allies, for six months they had fought side by side, and Nicole didn’t quite understand why all of that now meant so little.

 

“When are you going to trust me?” She asked, settling on the edge of a desk.

 

“Listen, if this is about your eye, I’m sorry, okay? It was a bitch move.”

 

“Yes, it was, but this isn’t about my eye, Wynonna. Do you really think I’m out to hurt Waverly? After everything we’ve been through?”

 

Wynonna bristled and again Nicole was reminded of the ominous pause between thunder and a lightning strike.

 

“It’s Waverly. You get it.”

 

“No, Wynonna, I really don’t. Because, yes, it’s Waverly, but have I not proven over and over again that I’m here? That I love her?”

 

“You hurt her,” Wynonna said, but it was obvious she was grasping at straws.

 

“I’m human, Wynonna, and besides, what happened is between me and Waverly. You don’t get to be a part of everything.”

 

“Possessive much?”

 

“No. But I’m not stupid either. What’s going on, Wynonna? Because this isn’t about me and it’s not about my relationship with Waverly. You look like you’re ready to run.”

 

Wynonna clenched her fists.

 

“Waverly said you’re thinking about bringing Alice home,” Nicole said, taking the risk.

 

“Can’t exactly bring her home with an apple arsonist on the loose.”

 

“True, but we’ll get the perp and then what?”

 

Wynonna lowered herself onto one of the desks, swinging her legs.

 

“This town is too dangerous,” she said.

 

Nicole sighed and stood up. She crossed the room and sat next to Wynonna who crossed her arms again. It was like sitting next to a stubborn child. It was like sitting next to a coiled cobra.

 

“There’s a mermaid in the community pool,” Nicole said.

 

“Wait, what?”

 

“Well, not _in_ the pool. She actually lives in the storeroom on the property. Only comes out at night.”

 

“That’s…okay…what?”

 

“And there’s a pack of werewolves in the forest behind the trailer park. Off the highway near the Neeson Farm.”

 

“Werewolves?”

 

“They make amazing moonshine. Every full moon I have to drag some of the young ones away from McArthur’s pet shop. They really like cats for some reason?”

 

“Wait, wait, wait. There are werewolves in Purgatory? And they eat cats?”

 

“I’ve spoken to them about the cat thing. Can’t have all the cats in Purgatory going missing once a month.”

 

“Nicole, why are you…”

 

“We have a dragon problem in the school gym too. But keep that on the down low.”

 

“Dragons?”

 

“Have you actually seen a dragon, though? They’re not all big, Mother of Dragons, sized dragons. They’re like tiny, baby dragons. Nip your ankles if you’re not careful. Nedley takes care of them for the most part. The Old Man just can’t resist small creatures with big eyes.”

 

Wynonna’s mouth hung open in shock.

 

“Honestly, they’re all pretty easy to handle. We had a problem with the Olde Folke last year, kept chewing through electrical wires – the whole town lost WIFI for a weekend, almost caused a riot.”

 

“Olde Folke? Like…”

 

“Tiny Icelandic elves? Or maybe they’re Irish? Their voices are so high pitched that it’s hard to tell sometimes. But they keep to themselves mostly. Except when the coven has its annual goat sacrifice. Little bastards like to spy on all the naked dancing witches and then the naked dancing witches get pissed and file a harassment claim and the paperwork, uuugh, the worst.”

 

“Stop,” Wynonna said, raising one hand, “are you telling me that Purgatory is over-run with supernatural _things_ at all times?”

 

“Yeah, pretty much.”

 

“And why aren’t you doing something about this?”

 

“I am. Everyday. But what I’m saying is, this town is never going to be normal or safe. Neither is New York or Toronto or Flin Flon.”

 

“Flin Flon?”

 

“Flin Flon.”

 

Wynonna exhaled sharply and shook her head.

 

“The difference between those places and Purgatory? I’m the Sheriff. I keep this town safe. I keep my people safe. And Waverly is my people. And so are you. And so is Alice.”

 

“You honestly don’t believe that I should parent anyone or anything. I wouldn’t even trust myself with your cat.”

 

Nicole hid a smile because the Earp sisters were stubborn and vibrant and not always good at expressing the root cause of their pain. But when they did, when they finally opened up, it felt like a physical shift in the atmosphere. Just as she had with Waverly the night before, Nicole found herself thinking, _there it is_.

 

“No one _really_ knows what they’re doing, Wynonna. You’ll be a great mom,” Nicole said. Wynonna angrily shook her head.

 

“Yeah, sure, my own mom left and I shot my dad _and_ my big sister, so I’m _great_ on family, super, super _great_.”

 

“You really can’t see yourself at all, can you?” Nicole turned to Wynonna and raised an eyebrow.

 

“Amazing hair? Top shelf ass?”

 

“You love more fiercely than anyone I’ve ever met, Wynonna. The way you are with Waverly? Any kid would be lucky to have you as a mom.”

 

Nicole could almost see an animated question mark pop into the space above Wynonna’s head. The former Earp Heir frowned in thought.

 

“I know things weren’t easy for you two when you were young,” Nicole said, “but now? Wynonna I see bad parents all the time. Really bad parents. Meth heads and abusers and the kind of people that scare me more than any demon we’ve ever faced. Trust me, involving social services is a tough call, sending a kid into the system is a tough call, but you? I know you, Wynonna Earp. I know what a bad parent looks like, hell, I had two of ‘em. And you are going to be great.”

 

“Stupid bumper-sticker-sounding, Cop,” Wynonna mumbled, tipping her head back to avoid any traitorous tears falling from her eyes.

 

“Plus, you have Waverly. And you have me. You’re not doing this alone, Wynonna.”

 

“Doc and I are meeting with Gus tonight. Outside the Triangle,” Wynonna said.

 

“Oh, wow. That’s…a lot.”

 

“Yeah. And Doc thinks we should get married. _For the sake of the child_ ,” Wynonna imitated Doc’s voice, but there was no humour in her words.

 

Nicole rolled her eyes.

 

“Okay, it’s 2018, Wynonna, parents don’t need to be married.”

 

“What if he’s right? What if it’s better for her?”

 

“Do you want to marry Doc?”

 

“No,” Wynonna said, looking a little surprised at her own prompt answer. Nicole watched as Wynonna’s hand subconsciously drifted to the gun at her hip. Dolls’ gun.

 

“Then there’s your answer.”

 

“I want Doc in our lives, he’s her daddy, but I…I’m not the marrying kind.”

 

“I used to think that too,” Nicole said.

 

“You? Dude, you’re textbook marrying kind.”

 

“I spent my adolescents stealing cigarettes from drug stores. Once even set a dumpster on fire. I’m not sure I’m textbook anything.”

 

Wynonna turned so suddenly that the desk shook.

 

“Sheriff Haught, _whaaaaaaaaat_?”

 

“As I said, crap parents.”

 

“We would’ve been friends. Destructive, toxic friends.”

 

Nicole stood from the desk and shrugged.

 

“Point is, people change. You’ll be a great mom. And you can marry Doc or you can _not_ marry Doc. But it’s not 1872, Wynonna, and Doc…”

 

“Is an immortal vampire with a history of making really shitty decisions?”

 

“Well, there’s that to consider…”

 

“Before I knew I had to send her away, I kept trying to picture what life would be like, you know? And Waverly was always there. And you. But it wasn’t Doc next to me. It was Dolls.”

 

Wynonna confessed defiantly, as if she was challenging Nicole and the universe to laugh or mock or belittle her. Instead, Nicole found it hard to keep her voice steady.

 

“I’m sorry you lost him. I sorry Alice lost him too.”

 

The single tear that fell down Wynonna’s cheek was a betrayal.

 

“I’m not the marrying kind,” Wynonna said again, “maybe I was. With him. But I’m not anymore.”

 

“Then I think you have your answer for Doc.”

 

Wynonna nodded once and hopped off the desk.

 

“I _am_ sorry about the eye. But if you ever hurt her…”

 

“Yeah, yeah,” Nicole smirked.

 

“Gus sent me a picture,” Wynonna said. She passed Nicole her phone without making eye contact.

 

The baby on the screen was wide awake, her blue eyes peering at the lens in haughty annoyance. It was obvious that someone had called her name or forced her attention, because in one hand Alice held a sippy cup and in the other, she clutched a stuffed Kermit the Frog and it was very obvious from the slight frown on her face that she’d been interrupted. She looked like Wynonna. And Doc. And maybe even Waverly too.

 

“You made a good kid, Earp,” Nicole handed Wynonna the phone.

 

“Nicole?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“I’m glad you’re here. With us. I mean, you’re a good cop and…stuff like that…so…umm…good work, good good work…”

 

“Wynonna?” Nicole rested one hand on Wynonna’s shoulder.

 

“Hmm?”

 

“I missed you, even though you’re the worst.”

 

Wynonna grinned for the first time since Nicole entered the office and responded to Nicole’s words with a friendly smack of her hand against Nicole’s bicep.

 

“Never thought I’d be on the same side as the Sheriff,” Wynonna plucked at the PPD patch on Nicole’s shoulder.

 

“Stop saying nice things. It’s weirding me out,” Nicole said.

 

“Get back to work, Sheriff,” Wynonna made a mock salute and Nicole shook her head, turning to leave.

 

“I meant what I said, Wynonna. You have Waverly. And you have me. And I won’t let anything happen to your kid.”

 

Nicole was called away before she could see Wynonna’s reaction, but as she left, she could swear she heard a faint sniffle followed by Wynonna’s frustrated, hushed voice in the empty room, chiding herself with an annoyed, “get your shit together, Earp.”

 

Nicole spent the rest of her shift filling out paperwork and guiding her deputies and occasionally day-dreaming about date night. But mostly, she thought about Alice Michelle’s blue eyes and her tiny pout and what it would be like to have her home wherever that home may be.

 

~*~

 

“Waves, did you do all of this?”

 

The Homestead was glowing. Candles flickered on every available surface and twinkly, Christmas lights were intertwined with the staircase. As Nicole removed her snow-covered toque and stomped her boots on the mat, she could smell Waverly’s signature vegan stew coming from the kitchen.

 

“Oh! You’re early!” Waverly appeared at the top of the stairs and Nicole stopped in the middle of removing her jacket because Waverly was no longer wearing the over-sized sweater. The high-waisted jeans were still there, but her shirt, the tank-top, it was the one she had been wearing on the day they met.

 

Nicole could still remember walking into an empty Shortie’s and in the second before the fateful beer tap accident, she’d chided herself for ogling Waverly Earp in that tight, low-cut, tantalizing shirt.

 

Waverly had already skipped down the stairs and crossed the room to help Nicole with her coat by the time Nicole found her voice again.

 

“It looks amazing in here, Baby,” Nicole said, kicking off her boots.

 

Waverly smiled, obviously pleased with herself.

 

“Christmas stuff isn’t quite ready. Mama really took the reins last year,” Waverly motioned to the pile of tangled lights on the floor and to the empty space where a tree would go.

 

Free from her bulky winter gear, Nicole stepped off the mat into Waverly’s waiting arms. Nicole circled her arms around Waverly’s hips, pulling her in for a soft kiss. Waverly tasted like peppermint.

 

“Did you have a good day?” Waverly settled her hands on Nicole’s shoulders.

 

“Nothing new to report.”

 

“All buttoned up?” Waverly tugged at the collar of Nicole’s uniform before helpfully loosening the first two buttons.

 

“Ugh, yeah, meeting with Bunny Loblaw about a noise complaint.”

 

“Ohhh, where’s your tie?”

 

“In my pocket? Or the desk drawer?”

 

“Baby, it’s going to get all creased like that…”

 

The conversation was so _normal_ , so achingly domestic that Nicole almost wondered if she was having a dream. Any second the Ghost of Purgatory Past would pop in and take her on some journey of discovery.

 

Except it was real. The Homestead was quiet, save for the soft, acoustic Christmas playlist Waverly had in the background.

 

“Come here, I want to show you something,” Wavelry said, interrupting Nicole’s thoughts. She happily accepted Waverly’s hand and followed her girlfriend into the brightly lit kitchen where a large pot simmered on the stove.

 

“So I started playing around this afternoon,” Waverly pointed to a piece of paper unrolled on the kitchen table. As Nicole came closer, she realized she was looking at blueprints. Hand drawn blueprints, but undoubtly blueprints of the Homestead.

 

“I know it’s not the best, but the black pen is the Homestead as it is now,” Waverly’s finger outlined the familiar rooms. The kitchen and Wynonna’s bedroom and the living room with its fireplace, the very fireplace currently warming the cozy home. A second black square represented the second floor where Waverly’s bedroom and the washroom took up the space.

 

“But the blue pen,” Waverly said, a little hesitancy in her voice, “that’s for some changes?”

 

Nicole still held Waverly’s hand in her own and she felt Waverly’s fingers go cold. It happened when Waverly was nervous.

 

The second floor remained untouched, but the first floor had numerous markings in blue ink. There was a new bathroom drawn into the back of the house and Wynonna’s bedroom was apparently going to be replaced with some sort of office. But it was the large blue square added to the left side of the home that made Nicole swallow hard.

 

_Nursery?_

 

It was clearly there in Waverly’s swirly hand-writing. _Nursery?_

 

“Or…second bedroom? Or I don’t know, I just…we haven’t really talked about it, but, it’s silly right? I’ve freaked you out? Oh God, I U-Hauled, Nicole, I swear I…”

 

“I love it,” Nicole reached out with her free hand, pressing her fingers to the small blue square.

 

_Nursery?_

 

“You do?”

 

“Of course I do.”

 

Waverly was thinking about the future, _their_ future. She was thinking beyond the next fight and into a world that included toss pillows and kisses after a long day at work and maybe, just maybe little hands and little feet and little voices. And that future included Nicole, Nicole was part of the package, Nicole was a piece of Waverly’s definition of _tomorrow_.

 

When the song changed, they both smiled softly, neither sure who led the other back into the living room. But they were in each other’s arms again, swaying softly in front of the fire place, holding each other with more contentment than Nicole could recall since before Waverly disappeared.

 

_Oh love you, love you, love you more each year_

_They could strip away the cheer_

_I’d still be standing here_

 

“No Santa suit this year?” Nicole asked, smiling against Waverly’s head where it lay against her shoulder.

 

“That feels like such a long time ago,” Waverly inhaled, sniffing Nicole’s shirt, her nose tracing a line along Nicole’s clavicle to her open collar.

 

“Yeah.”

 

_You gave me, gave me, gave me the greatest gift_

_I can strike it off my list_

_I no longer need to wish_

 

“It feels like that’s the last time things were normal, that it was just _us_ instead of…the craziness,” Waverly kissed Nicole’s throat and then settled as they swayed quietly in the candlelight.

 

“I barely saw you after that. We kept missing each other somehow,” Nicole said.

 

“I hate missing you. I never want to miss you again.”

 

Waverly’s hand drifted down from Nicole’s shoulder to her wrist, where she thumbed Nicole’s tattoo.

 

“Me too, Baby.”

 

“Do you think…could you…can you see yourself here? With me” Waverly pulled back a little to look at Nicole. She raised her eyebrows, hopeful, her face so open and pure in the light. Nicole wondered how many times it was possible to fall in love with the same person, if there was a limit, if it would ever be the last time.

 

“I can,” Nicole said, her voice soft and high.

 

“We’d obviously have to add some blue blankets and blue pillows and blue paint,” Waverly smiled and Nicole shook her head.

 

“Ha!”

 

“But we’d make it _ours_ , somehow, you know?”

 

Nicole responded with a kiss, brushing her lips over Waverly’s because words wouldn’t cut it.

 

_All the lights are lovely baby_

_Mostly cause you’re here with me_

 

“Oh, hey, I have something for you,” Nicole said, letting go of Waverly’s waist so she could reach into her pocket. She retrieved a small, lace bag and held it up between their bodies.

 

“What’s this for?” Waverly didn’t let go of Nicole’s arm, instead using her free hand to take the little gift. Together they opened it, loosening the strings holding the bag together to reveal a simple, gold necklace. A small, sapphire stone hung from the chain, shaped like a single tear. It was small and dainty and old and _Waverly_.

 

“You missed your birthday,” Nicole said, watching Waverly’s face carefully, “I found it at an estate sale while you were away. Just knew it had to be yours.”

 

“Nicole, it’s beautiful.”

 

“It’s how I found you. The sapphire, I mean. It’s how you came back to me.”

 

Waverly nodded once, her eyes glistening, but she sniffled happily and finally let go of Nicole’s wrist so she could gather her hair in one hand, lifting it from her neck.

 

“Help?” She asked and Nicole unclasped the necklace, carefully setting it around Waverly’s neck and checking that the chain was properly clasped. The stone settled against Waverly’s breast and Nicole’s chest felt tight.

 

“Baby, it’s perfect. I love it,” Waverly immediately stepped into Nicole’s again, wrapping both arms around Nicole’s shoulders. Nicole did the same, finding Waverly’s waist and pulling her into a tight hug.

 

“Please try not to disappear ever again,” Nicole said .

 

Waverly nodded against her body. The wind whistled against the Homestead’s windows and Waverly shook just a little.

 

“You must be cold,” Nicole tugged at the hem of Waverly’s shirt, “not that I’m complaining about the fashion choice.”

 

“You remember this?” Waverly smiled softly and Nicole played along.

 

“Vaguely. Doesn’t stick out particularly in my mind…”

 

“Oh please…”

 

“Fine, it featured in _many_ dreams about you before we got together. Happy?”

 

“Nicole Haught, you had dirty dreams about me?”

 

Waverly seemed so happy, so light, it was infectious and Nicole felt herself drifting to a time before the Garden or a time far beyond its reach. Logically she knew that there were wolves in the forest and monsters under the bed, but Waverly Earp was smiling at her and there were blueprints of a home on the table. She couldn’t help but tip her head back and laugh.

 

“A few. Maybe. It’s just…I wanted you for a long time and then there you were, without a shirt, looking the way you do…”

 

“I wanted you too. The dreams scared me at first,” Waverly said, one hand finding the back of Nicole’s head. The feel of Waverly’s fingers in her hair was always so relaxing.

 

“And now?”

 

“Could you touch my back?”

 

Suddenly, Waverly’s choice of clothing made sense. The tank top left little to the imagination, include her shoulder blades.

 

“Are you sure?” Nicole didn’t move her hands from Waverly’s hips.

 

“I think I need to relearn my body…does that make sense?”

 

Nicole nodded.

 

“Does it…or…do _they_ feel different when they rub against your shirt?” Nicole asked.

 

“No, not really. So far it’s only been when you touch me that they feel like… _that_.”

 

“Have you tried touching them yourself?” Nicole wondered if the fireplace and the candles were making the room warm or if their conversation had her sweating.

 

“Yes. It felt nice, but nothing like before.”

 

“Okay. Just tell me if you want me to stop or if something hurts.”

 

Waverly braced herself, settling both hands on Nicole’s shoulders. For her part, Nicole didn’t step back, she stayed as close to Waverly as she could, their waists pressed firmly together, but with her left hand she carefully slipped her fingers under the strap of Waverly’s tank top. The skin was warm, the muscles smooth, but as soon as her hand found Waverly’s shoulder blade, Waverly inhaled sharply.

 

“Should I stop?” Nicole asked, tracing the pads of her fingers over Waverly’s skin. Waverly tipped her head forward against Nicole’s shoulder.

 

“No. I…I don’t know why it’s just when you do it…but, God, Nicole…”

 

Waverly’s fingers were sharp as they drifted down to Nicole’s biceps where they held on tightly. When Nicole raised her right hand to Waverly’s back and moved her fingers there, Waverly moaned and raised her head, desperately searching for a kiss.

 

Nicole obliged, tilting her head down to meet Waverly’s mouth. They kissed desperately, wetly, Waverly’s tongue was wild against Nicle’s lips. Nicole was overwhelmed by Waverly’s reaction, the way she pushed her body up, her breasts brushing against Nicole’s chest. She couldn’t tell if Waverly was afraid, or if she was completely overcome by feeling, but Waverly’s body moved towards her, closer, warmer, and Nicole only wanted to obey, to serve, to give.

 

“Tell me,” Nicole breathed, unsure what she was asking, but Waverly knew, she always knew.

 

“It’s…it’s just when…you…Nicole..please…”

 

“Upstairs?” Nicole pushed harder into Waverly’s back, her fingers moving in torturous circles. Waverly lurched forward, Nicole’s body the only thing keeping her standing.

 

“I ca…fuck…too far…”

 

“Couch?” Nicole asked against the skin of Waverly’s neck. Waverly was pulling at the back of Nicole’s shirt, tearing at it with frenzied hands.

 

“ _Nicole_ ,” it came out like a painful question full of need and confusion and fear and Nicole immediately dropped her hands, wrapping one arm around Waverly’s hips to help settle her.

 

“I have you, baby, I have you,” she said, thumbing the button of Waverly’s jeans. She leaned forward for a kiss, catching Waverly’s mouth, promising care and safety in the movement of her lips and their tongues.

 

Waverly’s hand found Nicole’s hair again and it tugged harshly. Nicole received the message loud and clear.

 

“On my knees, baby?’ Is that what you want?”

 

The arm around Waverly’s waist moved up so Nicole could brush Waverly’s shoulders again. Waverly responded by sinking her teeth into Nicole’s chest. The pain was exquisite, the idea that she would walk around marked by Waverly Earp intoxicating, and without a second thought, Nicole eyed the closest wall and harshly wrapped her arms around Waverly’s middle, trying to concentrate as Waverly rolled her hips and moaned and pulled at her hair and her shirt.

 

When the door burst open a second later, Nicole and Waverly were so shocked that they tripped apart, Waverly stumbling against the wall while trying to stay upright and Nicole, so surprised by the interruption that she fell down, landing hard on her ass.

 

“Date night!” Jeremy yelled, bounding in with Robin at his side. He held two bottles of wine in his hand and waved them forward in Waverly’s direction.

 

“Jeremy?” Waverly blinked once and then again and then turned to Nicole who was still sitting on the floor in shock.

 

“Oh, shit, baby are you okay?” Waverly offered a hand and Nicole took it, trying to convince her brain to catch up with the situation. She could tell by Waverly’s flushed cheeks and uneven breathing that she was struggling too.

 

“Yeah?” Nicole stood, still unsure quite what happened.

 

Robin brushed past the small gathering to fiddle with Waverly’s music choices.

 

“Guys, you have to listen to this, it’s crazy, it’s…no, it’s life changing, just a second…”

 

The mellow Christmas playlist was replaced with dissonant, hard jazz.

 

“You said ‘date night’ and we thought date night squared would be _amazing_!” Jeremy explained, handing Waverly the wine. The consummate hostess, she recovered quickly, guiding Jeremy into the kitchen while Nicole was left holding his jacket.

 

“Wait, lemme taste it…”

 

Jeremy was dipping a spoon into the stew and Nicole could no longer imagine blue toss pillows and blue blankets and blue paint.

 

“More salt, girl, what are you doing?”

 

“Crazy about that tree on Highway 7, hey?” Robin said and Nicole furrowed her brow.

 

“Wait, what?”

 

“OH MY GOD ARE YOU PREGNANT?” Jeremy’s voice was enough to pull Nicole and Robin into the kitchen where they found Jeremy pointing at the blueprints on the table and Waverly hastily rolling them up. The expression on her face was unreadable. Nicole didn’t know if her girlfriend was angry or embarrassed or flustered or some combination of all three.

 

“No, Jeremy, obviously not,” Waverly said, but Jeremy’s smile was so wide and his movements so animated that they felt out of place in the previously quiet kitchen.

 

“Phew, because I am totally willing to give you some of this magic juice to make a little Haught-Earp kiddo, just say the word and I am there! Uncle Jeremy!”

 

“Umm…”

 

“Okay, so what’s the timeline? You ovulating? Are you guys trying? Where's the turkey baster? We can do this anytime. Nicole, are you going to carry?”

 

Nicole’s mouth hung open. She found herself incapable of words because the anger in her throat muted any civil response she could possible think of. Waverly looked as if she was about to speak, but any words died quickly when another voice echoed through the Homestead.

 

“Waverly!”

 

Wynonna rushed into the room with Doc at her heels. They both looked spooked and Nicole found herself overwhelmed. Because how had the Homestead been so peaceful and so quiet and how was it now chaos? How had she found herself dreaming of a future? It was gone, faded, there were so many voices and Wynonna had tracked snow into the house and Nicole just wanted to step back, again and again until she disappeared entirely.

 

“Wynonna…what…” Waverly’s eyes darted from her sister to Nicole, the concern evident in her gaze.

 

Nicole’s phone dinged incessantly and without thinking, she checked her texts, reached for her jacket and walked out the door without a word.

 

It was only when she was standing in the yard, surrounded by swirling, thick snow, that she realized what she had done.

 

“Nicole?” Wavelry’s voice carried from the porch and Nicole turned. Waverly stood wrapped in a blanket, barely visible in the blowing storm. She looked so small.

 

“I have to go,” Nicole said, retracing her steps so she could come closer, “go inside, Waves, it’s freezing.”

 

“You can’t drive in this,” Waverly gestured to the flurries, shaking her head.

 

“I have to go,” Nicole repeated.

 

“Nicole, I’m sorry, I didn’t know…”

 

“Today was the first time you ever mentioned wanting kids,” Nicole refused to cry. Her tears would freeze and she didn’t want to give the situation the indignity of her tears

 

“Baby…”

 

“And now, what? Jeremy is our sperm donor?”

 

“Nicole, he was just joking.”

 

“I don’t care,” Nicole let her anger guide her words. She was tired and heartsick and her phone kept vibrating in her pocket.

 

“Nicole…”

 

“I love you. And I love them too. But I need boundaries, Waverly, maybe you don’t, but I do.”

 

Waverly huddled in her blanket, eyes wide despite the blowing snow.

 

“I need to go,” Nicole said. For work. For her own sanity. She needed to leave.

 

“Please be safe,” Waverly cried out. But Nicole had already turned to her car, hands clenched into fists.

 

She drove in silence, the only sound interrupting her journey was the increasingly panicked dispatches over the radio. Sirens drowned out the whistling snow, but not even the frigid air could cool the heated sadness in Nicole’s heart.

 

~*~

“Where’s the goddamn fire department?”

 

The snow was blinding, the wind whipping it into torrent and waves. Highway 7 was dark, save for the flashing blue and red lights of police cruisers. Just ahead, illuminated only by headlights, Nicole could just make out the wreckage of a car, smashed unnaturally against a tree trunk. A tree trunk that had no business lying across the highway, miles from the treeline. A tree trunk so huge, that it did not belong amongst the thin pines that dotted the road.

 

“Can’t get through yet!” Dottie yelled in the wind. The car was smoking, Nicole could see plumes rising from the hood and she made her decision. They couldn’t wait. One of her deputies was already peering into the car’s driver’s-side door.

 

“Sheriff!” He yelled and Nicole followed, motioning for Dottie to wait by the cars.

 

“He breathing, Derek?” Nicole raised her flashlight to get a better look at the driver. He was unconscious, blood stained his face, and from what she could tell, he appeared to be old, elderly, likely a farmer on his way home, judging by his distance from town.

 

Together, Nicole and Derek opened the door, pulling the injured man from his seat. Once they had him on the ground, Nicole tore off her glove, checking his neck for a pulse. His skin was cold, but there was something faint beneath her fingertips.

 

“We need to get him away from the car,” Nicole said and Derek nodded. There were sirens in the distance, but Nicole knew they couldn’t wait.

 

Once the man was safely pulled away, Nicole looked back at the car, noting the beginnings of orange flames coming from the hood.

 

“Was there anyone else in there?”

 

Derek shook his head, “I don’t think so?”

 

“Not good enough,” Nicole was already on her feet, running towards the smoking vehicle. She used her flashlight to peer inside, coughing on the smoke. The front was empty, as was the back seat, but something caught her eye before she ran for cover, something small, and blue, and undoubtedly out of place in the car.

 

“There’s a kid in the car!” Nicole yelled, dropping her flashlight on the ground to use both hands on the door. She pried it open, keeping one eye on the growing fire and the other on the tiny, unmoving body. The boy could not have been more than three or four. He was curled up on the floor of the car, his eyes closed. Nicole couldn’t tell if he was moving or not, she couldn’t even tell if he was alive, but without a second thought she reached in and pulled him to her.

 

He was so light, it was like lifting air, and his jacket was puffy and soft where it brushed her face. Nicole turned, about to make a run for it, when she heard a click, and then another click, and then she was no longer standing, she was flying, her feet kicking in shock as the car exploded and sent her and the child soaring through the air.

 

For the second time that night she landed hard, but this time she didn’t sit in shock. Her head throbbed and something wet was dripping into her eye, but all that mattered was the little boy lying beneath her, his eyes still closed.

 

Nicole coughed, she was vaguely aware of Dottie calling her name, but she didn’t turn back. Instead, she pulled off her jacket, the cold air nipping at her exposed skin, and placed it over the child’s body.

 

“Come on, Little Man, come one,” she whispered, her bare hands trying to find a pulse. He wasn’t breathing. Or moving. And Nicole’s ribs hurt and her knee and whatever was dripping into her eye was making it hard to see.

 

“Please, please, please,” she begged, rolling onto her knees. The child was so still, he looked like a doll, and his serene expression was jarring next to the smell of smoke and the taste of blood. Nicole tore her jacket form his body and then opened his own coat, preparing to perform CPR. There were boots running towards her, but she ignored them, counting along with each chest compression, even when hands found her arms and started pulling her back.

 

“Sheriff,” a voice said, trying to take her place.

 

“No,” Nicole refused to move.

 

“Sheriff, he’s gone.” There were paramedics around her now. She didn’t realize they had arrived.

 

“No, I’ve got this,” Nicole couldn’t see out of one eye and her head throbbed.

 

“Sheriff, you have to let him go.”

 

Nicole pressed down again and then one more time and then she stopped because the little boy looked so peaceful, his tiny _Ninja Turtles_ hat still set on his head. There were tufts of light brown hair beneath the toque. Nicole wondered what colour eyes he had.

 

She stumbled back as the paramedics moved in, standing on shaking legs. Her coat was on the ground and her gloves had long been lost. Her hands hurt from the cold and her lungs…there was so much smoke. When she raised a hand to clear her eye, her fingers came back coated in blood. But she couldn’t seem to move. Not with the boy still on the ground. With the car burning.

 

Nicole looked at the scene and then beyond, to the tree, the tree that should not have been possible. And just beyond its dark form, in the snow, swirling in ashes and ice, she saw _something_ , a shape, the idea of a shape, watching, staring, triumphant. Familiar.

 

And then it was gone. _She_ was gone.

 

_Willa_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the wait! It's the busiest time of year in my line of work + holidays/family. Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas! As always, your greatest fit to me = comments, comments, comments. Love them so much!
> 
> Come hang out on twitter @WrackWonder
> 
> "Let's Stay Inside" by Adaline & Frederick.


	9. Chapter 9

The shoulder of Nicole’s shirt was damp from the tears of a broken woman. The words came easily, a result of careful training, but Nicole was not prepared for the child’s mother to launch into her arms, to hammer at her chest, to weep against her like an infant. The sound was otherworldly, a cry of some dead, twisted wretch, but Nicole held onto the shaking stranger, absorbing as much as she could.

 

Because a child was dead. A child had died. On her watch. In her town.

 

There were other hands too, the hospital was well-equipped to deal with tragedy and Nicole watched as someone else took her place, holding the weeping mother, comforting her, whispering meaningless appeasements in her ear.

 

Nicole had hastily wiped the blood from her face when she walked into the hospital, but she could feel her body aching. The smoke had coiled in her lungs and she coughed endlessly, but her people were scattered around Purgatory’s small emergency room and she had to see to their safety. She moved from bedside to bedside, carrying blankets, bringing water, offering a reassuring word, all the while warding off the growing sense of panic in her gut.

 

“Dottie, you should go home,” she said, noticing her newest deputy standing next to the nurse’s station.

 

“Sheriff, you need to sit down,” Dottie’s eyes were haunted, but she had the tone of a frustrated mother.

 

“No, where’s Derek?”

 

“Sheriff…”

 

Nicole walked away, looking for her officers, uninterested in Dottie’s suggestion or the resident following her around, repeatedly asking her to take a seat, to let him check her, to slow down.

 

“Derek,” Nicole wrapped an emergency blanket around the man’s shoulders when she found him sitting on a gurney, “you okay there?”

 

“Yes, Sheriff, thanks,” he said, lowering his oxygen mask.

 

“You did good, Derek.”

 

“Sheriff, shouldn’t you get checked out?”

 

“I’m fine, don’t worry about me.”

 

“But, Sheriff…”

 

“You did good,” Nicole said again, noticing one of the firefighters from the scene leaning against a wall. She left Derek with a pat on his arm and called out to the man covered in suet.

 

“Where the hell were you guys?” she said, trying to control her anger.

 

“Roads were closed, Haught, we could barely get the truck through.”

 

“Bullshit. Our cruisers made it, where’s the chief?” Nicole looked around, but the chief was not present.

 

“Things have been a little chaotic since Charlie…”

 

“Don’t give me excuses right now, I swear to…”

  
  
“Sheriff?” Dottie was by her side, her face full of concern.

 

“Dottie, go, you should be with Cody and Kim right now.”

 

“Okay, but you’re actively bleeding and yelling, which isn’t like you at all, so I think…”

 

“Damn it, Dottie, I said go home!” Nicole stomped away, ignoring the renewed feel of blood dripping down her face.

 

She didn’t know what she was looking for. Everything in her told her to keep circling the ER, to keep checking on her people, to find out why the fire department was so late, to check that the paramedics made it back okay. Her knee ached and she’d yet to check her ribs, but the idea of stopping was an impossibility. She was the Sheriff. She had a job to do. If she could just stop coughing…

 

“Sheriff, please, you need to sit down,” a resident tried to get her attention, interrupting her thoughts.

 

“Have you checked Meyers? I think he hit his head when the car blew,” Nicole pointed to a paramedic sitting on a nearby gurney.

 

“Sheriff…”

 

“No, I’m fine, go che…”

 

“Nicole.”

 

Waverly appeared out of nowhere. People flitted and fluttered around her, but she stood in the midst of them all, calm and serious. Nicole blinked once, the blood in her eye making it difficult to see.

 

“Waverly, you need to tell Wynonna that it’s Willa, it’s Willa!” Nicole crossed the room, but Waverly did not reach for her.

 

“We know,” Waverly said and that’s when Nicole realized that Waverly was still dressed in only a tank top and a tight pair of jeans. She’d tossed a jacket over her outfit, but the younger woman had obviously been awake all night.

 

“You know? What are you doing here?”

 

“Nicole Haught, you need to let this nice doctor check you.”

 

“But…”

 

“ _Now_.”

 

Nicole took one last look around the ER and then sighed. Waverly meant business and Nicole couldn’t deny Waverly anything. She followed the young resident to a gurney and watched as he pulled a curtain around the small area. Waverly stood in the corner, arms crossed, watching expectantly.

 

“Any headaches?” The doctor asked. Nicole shook her head, following his finger with her eyes.

 

“Honestly, I’m fine,” she said, but Waverly raised one eyebrow and Nicole sat down.

 

“What about this knee?”

 

Nicole was about to answer when she was overtaken by a coughing fit.

 

“Okay, Sheriff Haught, can you breathe into this for me?” The doctor lowered an oxygen mask to Nicole’s face. She begrudgingly agreed.

 

The exam was fast. She had to drop her pants and she had to open her shirt, but after some quick prodding, the doctor announced the nothing seemed to be broken. The cut on her face was superficial, but the smoke inhalation had him somewhat worried. Nicole barely listened. The hospital was cold and a child was dead and she was half-naked in front of a man, which was the last thing she ever wanted to be. When he finally stepped out of the space to retrieve some supplies to deal with Nicole’s bloody head, Waverly stepped forward, her face no longer so severe.

 

“What am I going to do with you?” She asked, shaking her head.

 

“Why aren’t you helping Wynonna?”

 

It wasn’t that Nicole wanted Waverly to leave. But things were out of order. There were matters to take care of, important matters, and she didn’t have time to sit with her pants down and Waverly didn’t have time to play the supportive partner. They weren’t those people. Not here.

 

“Nicole…”

 

A nurse walked in then, interrupting whatever Waverly was about to say.

 

“Okay, Sheriff, hold still for me,” he said, carrying a syringe in one hand. Nicole’s eyes widened, but he worked fast, numbing her head wound before reaching for a stapler from a nearby tray. The needle hurt and the sight of the stapler left her feeling slightly woozy, but Waverly was there too and Waverly’s hand was in hers and quickly, the staples were in and a band aid was placed on her scalp and she was given instructions that she didn’t listen to because she could smell Waverly’s body wash and a child had died in her arms.

 

When the nurse walked away, when the small cubicle was quiet, Waverly moved from Nicole’s side to stand in front of her. And that’s when Nicole leaned forward, nuzzling her forehead into Waverly’s chest.

 

“I couldn’t save him,” she whispered, squeezing her eyes shut. Waverly’s hands were in her hair, gently stroking.

 

“I know, sweetie, I’m so sorry.”

 

Waverly’s phone dinged from somewhere in her jacket, but she ignored it.

 

“He was so small, I tried…”

 

Waverly held on tighter, wrapping one arm around Nicole’s back to hold her even closer. The room was cold and Nicole shivered.

 

“Let’s get you dressed again, okay?”

 

“Waverly, I can do that. Willa is…”

 

“I know, that’s what Wynonna and Doc were trying to say last night. She drove them off the road while they were trying to get to Gus. That’s how I found out about the accident. And you…”

 

“Waverly, you need to go, Wynonna…”

 

The phone dinged again.

 

“Nicole, stop.”

 

Nicole leaned back, immediately missing the warmth of Waverly’s body.

 

“But, Waves, you have to…”

 

“Stop!”

 

Waverly balled her hands into fists, her face red with sudden anger. Nicole knew when to shut up.

 

“Everyone keeps telling me what to do,” Waverly said.

 

“Sorry, but…”

 

“ _No_! Wynonna keeps saying I need to come help and you keep telling to leave even though you just went through something horrible and I want to be here for you.”

 

Nicole stood from the gurney and reached for her pants. Her knee screamed in protest, but she ignored it, buckling her belt and then starting on her shirt.

 

“I’m okay, Waverly,” Nicole said.

 

“Well, I didn’t know that! Because all I heard was that there was an accident and that you were in an explosion and then I get here and you’re…being so damn irresponsible!”

 

“What?”

 

“You have a head wound. And your skin is black and blue. Not to mention the fact that you will not use the oxygen tank,” Wavelry angrily reached for the mask that Nicole had left on the bed. Nicole fumbled with the object when the mask was suddenly shoved into her face.

 

“My evil older sister crawled out of the Garden of Eden and my girlfriend is trying to get herself killed and no one cares what I want because no one ever thinks to ask me.”

 

Nicole inhaled deeply and adjusted the mask, hoping it would appease Waverly a little.

 

“What do you want, Waverly?” Nicole asked.

 

“I…I want…I want Wynonna to bring Alice home. And I want Willa to go away. And I want us to get married and for you to be safe and not end up in the hospital every month.” Waverly paced the room, spitting her words with such frustration that Nicole thought it best to take a big inhale from the oxygen mask.

 

“I want to keep you safe,” Wavelry swung her arms widely, pointing at Nicole. “But this might be the end of the world. And I…shit, Nicole, I don’t want to face the end of the world without you.”

 

Nicole raised an eyebrow and slowly lowered the mask.

 

“What?”

 

“Come with me,” Waverly extended her hand. The dinging phone in her pocket was now ringing.

 

“Waverly, I…”

 

“It’s selfish and you’ve just been through something horrible, but sometimes Earps are selfish and I am being selfish right now, okay? I am! But I might die or you might die or I might have to go back to that stupid garden and I swear to freaking God _I am not going back in there alive_.”

 

Nicole stepped forward, wincing as she put her weight on her knee.

 

“Waves…”

 

“Nope. You asked. You asked and that’s what I want. I want you, okay? I want you.”

 

“Let’s go.”

 

“Wait…what?”

 

Waverly stopped mid rant and blinked.

 

“You’re very convincing, cutie, so let’s go. Because I’m not letting anyone else die on my watch and I am certainly not losing you. Not again,” Nicole’s voice broke, but she pushed through. Tears would have to wait.

 

The screams of a broken mother would live in Nicole’s thoughts forever. She would never unsee the boy’s delicate eyelashes against his cheek. She would never forget his stillness beneath her hands. But Waverly was right too. The world might be ending. Purgatory might be ending. And if that was true, if this was it, she wanted to be with Waverly. It was her job to protect the town. To protect her citizens. And it was also her job to protect Waverly. To give all that she could to Waverly. So she was going to do both.

 

Waverly took Nicole’s hand and pulled her in. They kissed quickly, a kiss that spoke more of reassurance than anything else and when they pulled apart, Waverly furrowed her brow and jabbed her finger into Nicole’s chest.

 

“Stay alive,” she said.

 

“You too,” Nicole answered, holding Waverly tightly to her body.

 

“There’s an arsenal in my car. Pretend it’s all legal, okay?” Waverly was already pulling Nicole out of the cubicle.

 

Nicole sighed and followed.

 

“I always do.”

 

~*~

 

Sheriff Nicole Haught straightened her back and gave orders in a reassuring, comforting tone. It was a tone that let her deputies know that she was in charge, that she wasn’t afraid, that the loss of the little boy was something that she would shoulder for them. Her instructions were clear: hide. The darkening sky made it easy to convince her squad that bad weather was on its way. Purgatory needed to batten down the hatches. It was time to hide in bathtubs and seek out storm shelters. She left the hospital knowing that Dottie and the boys would take care of it. She left wondering if she’d ever see any of them again.

 

Waverly had been honest about the arsenal in her car. The weapons contained in the backseat of the jeep would be enough to send Waverly to prison in any other scenario. Nicole didn’t ask where she was getting military grade sniper rifles or Soviet rocket launchers. She didn’t ask any questions at all, instead she grabbed an armful of ammunition and made her to way to her car.

 

The sky was black despite the early hour. Snow and shards of ice whipped at the windshield, but Nicole drove steadily, unphased by the torrent. Beside her, Waverly watched the road, a walkie-talkie in one hand. They were both determined, Nicole could feel the resolve all around, and if she hadn’t needed both hands on the wheel, she would have reached for Waverly’s knee, to give it a squeeze, to say _we are in this together_.

 

“Jeremy, do you have the coordinates?” Waverly raised the small speaker to her mouth.

 

Jeremy’s voice cackled back, distant in the storm.

 

“Are you sure you don’t want me there?” He asked.

 

“No, Nicole is with me, but we need to know where we’re going.”

 

“Nicole should come here! Yeah! She knows the system and it’s safer and…”

 

“No,” Waverly’s voice was uncharacteristically harsh, “we need her. And we need you where you are. The location, Jeremy?”

 

Nicole chanced a quick glance at Waverly. Her girlfriend was serious and worried and somehow vibrant all at the same time.

 

“Patching them through to your phone now.”

 

Waverly looked down and then swore under her breath.

 

“What’s wrong?” Nicole kept driving, listening for the new instructions from Waverly’s GPS.

 

“We’ve been there before,” Waverly said darkly.

 

Nicole kept her eyes forward and grit her teeth. A train car flew through the air, landing in the field next to the highway.

 

Earps liked to make an entrance. Willa was no exception.

 

~*~

 

The sky had been clear when Xavier Dolls died. Nicole could remember the cold wind and the sun at her back and the burn in her throat. And the fear. Because she had almost died. They had all almost died. But Dolls…there was no _almost_. He lay in the dirt and the sky had been clear and the sun was at her back.

 

Which is exactly how the plateau looked to her as she pulled up next to Wynonna’s truck. The darkness had cleared, the clouds had parted, except in the valley beyond the hill, a figure spun in a torrent of air, dirt and dust staining her white gown, and the wind itself crackled with energy as she spun and spun and her hair lifted with the power in tendrils all around her familiar, horrible face.

 

Sitting behind the wheel, Nicole took a moment to blink and then blink again because she was staring at Willa Earp, floating, flailing, her mouth open and chanting words Nicole could not yet hear. And she was parked where Dolls had died. Somehow this spot was significant, somehow Willa had brought them all back here. To the spot where their family died and was reborn into something fragmented, but still strong.

 

“Why did it have to be here?” Waverly asked beside her, reaching into the back seat for her favoured shotgun.

 

Nicole shrugged and pushed open the door.

 

“Hell if I know.”

 

“Wait.”

 

Nicole turned back and Waverly fisted one hand into Nicole’s jacket, pulling her into a hard kiss.

 

“Don’t die, okay?” She said, her nose brushing Nicole’s.

 

“Okay. You too?”

 

“Deal. And if I’m sucked back into the garden, please promise you’ll put a bullet between my eyes before the trees get me.”

 

“What?”

 

“Please…”

 

“Better deal. If you get sucked back into the garden, I go with you this time.”

 

Waverly seemed to think over the offer and then shrugged.

 

“We’re not going into that garden,” she said darkly.

 

Nicole leaned forward for another kiss. It was hard. Again. There was no time for softness. Not here. Not where Dolls fell. Not with Willa shrieking into the universe as trees and rocks scattered in her wake.

 

“In this house, we don’t do gardens,” Nicole said. Waverly nodded.

 

They parted then, only pausing to retrieve Waverly’s arsenal from the trunk before running towards Wynonna and Doc who were hiding behind a large log in the middle of the clearing.

 

Despite the clear sky, the wind was deafening, and on its gusts, Willa’s voice carried loudly.

 

“I have been deceived,” she cried, “deceived and beguiled!”

 

“What the hell is this?” Nicole crouched next to Doc.

 

“It seems that Willa followed us from the garden,” Doc said and Nicole rolled her eyes.

 

“Obviously!”

 

“IN HIS SIGHT I WILL REMAKE THE UNMAKABLE AND ALL SHALL BE OURS!”

 

Waverly winced next to Wynonna and slammed her hands over her ears.

 

“I think we have two problems,” Wynonna yelled over the noise.

 

“Just two?” Nicole ducked further into the uprooted tree, ducking as debris and soil fell from the sky.

 

“So, obviously, Willa…” Wynonna said before handing Nicole a set of binoculars. Nicole accepted, raising them to her eyes. She could see Willa’s face more clearly, but it was what lay on the valley floor that made her turn quickly to Wynonna in horror.

 

“Please tell me that’s not Peacemaker.”

 

“What?” Waverly grabbed the binoculars from Nicole’s hand and looked herself.

 

“Wynonna, what did you do with the sword and how did it get down there?” Waverly shook her head, shoving the binoculars back at Wynonna.

 

“I left it in the barn! I swear!”

 

“I thought you left it in the garden when you came to get us?” Waverly furrowed her brow.

 

“I couldn’t. It…it told me not to.”

 

“The guardian removes the guard,” Doc mumbled to himself, “explains our current predicament.”

 

“How does it explain anything?” Nicole winced as Willa released a scream.

 

“Do you not know your scripture, Sheriff Haught?” Doc asked.

 

“Now is not the time to shame me for skipping Sunday school, Doc!”

 

Doc smirked and shrugged.

 

“ _and at the east of the garden of Eden He stationed the cherubim and the flaming sword which turned every direction to guard the way to the tree of life_.”

 

“Wait…I removed the flaming sword?” Wynonna asked.

 

“It would seem that way.” Doc shrugged again, his attitude oddly casual despite the chaos around them.

 

“Which left the garden unguarded, which is how Willa got out. It was her,” Waverly said, eyes unfocused, “she was the one whispering to me the whole time.”

 

Nicole reached across Doc and Wynonna to take Waverly’s hand.

 

“Okay, so now what?” Nicole said.

 

“We get her back in the garden?” Nicole could tell by the tremor in Waverly’s voice that the mere thought of the garden was enough to terrify her.

 

“No, we must end this,” Doc reached for his pistols.

 

“That’s my sister!” Wynonna punched Doc’s shoulder, but her face was agonized.

 

“No, she’s not!” Nicole let go of Waverly’s shoulder and squeezed Wynonna’s arm, “Look at her, Wynonna. She’s not Willa, I don’t know if she ever was!”

 

Wynonna held the binoculars to her face again, focusing on the being screaming at the world.

 

“Shit,” Wynonna whispered, “shit, shit, shit!”

 

The walkie talkie in Waverly’s pocket crackled to life, ending Wynonna’s rant.

 

“Guys, guys!” Jeremy’s voice sounded thin and full of static.

 

“Go ahead Jeremy,” Waverly said.

 

“She’s terra-forming, she’s…go…th…s…”

 

“What the hell does that mean?” Wynonna yelled, but the walkie talkie was not powerful enough to withstand Willa’s electrical storm.

 

“That’s it! Nicole? You need to go back to the station and…” Wynonna swiveled to look at Nicole who angrily shook her head.

 

“No way! You don’t get to make that decision for me. Not again!”

 

“Red, this is not time…”

 

“She stays,” Waverly said. Wynonna turned her head to her sister.

 

“But…”

 

“I need her here,” Waverly looked at Nicole before tilting her head into Wynonna’s forehead, “I need you both here.”

 

“It’s not safe,” Wynonna wrapped her arm around Waverly’s shoulders.

 

“I know.”

 

Something Wynonna had said months before rang loudly in Nicole’s ears.

_She chooses you…bad things happen when she does…_

 

“I’m fine,” Nicole said, wanting to prove herself, wanting to show that she wasn’t the weak link, that her presence didn’t mean that someone else had to die. Not this time.

 

“Would someone please explain Jeremy’s ramblings,” Doc’s voice barely carried in the wind.

 

“Terra-something?” Wynonna’s eyes didn’t leave Nicole’s face. They were calculating. Nicole looked away.

 

“It means that she’s turning the Ghost River Triangle _into_ the Garden,” Waverly lifted her face from Wynonna’s shoulder. She looked somber, resigned, and Nicole wanted to pull her in for a hug, but sensed that it was not the time.

 

“What do you…” Wynonna’s question was cut off by Willa’s voice.

 

“ _Rise, rise, come once more to your daughter, in her name I command you, rise_!”

 

“Look!” Doc called, pointing over their hiding spot.

 

Below, where Willa floated over the earth, tree roots shot from crevices and cracks beneath her feet. The mountains trembled, stones and sleet cascaded down the hills, and the sword lay beneath Willa, shaking as the serpentine growths cascaded from the heart of the world.

 

“She’s remaking the tree,” Waverly’s voice was high and frightened.

 

“So if I get Peacemaker and kill Willa _and_ drive the sword into biblical Groot…will that do it?”

 

Waverly nodded her head. Nicole swallowed hard.

 

“Okay, so that tree is growing pretty fast and I’m going to have to climb down?” Wynonna reached for her gun belt, ready to toss it.

 

“No, I should do the climbing,” Nicole offered.

 

“We do not have time for deliberations!” Doc’s hat nearly flew off in the wind.

 

“No we do not,” Waverly said.

 

“Well, what do you suggest Baby Girl, because I…”

 

Waverly reached for Doc who took her hand.

 

“Be good, okay?” She said. He raised his eyebrows in question.

 

“Wynonna?” Waverly pulled her sister into a tight hug and Wynonna reacted automatically, squeezing Waverly and running one hand through her hair, “you bring Alice home. I love you so much.”

 

“Baby Girl?”

 

Waverly stood, shedding her coat.

 

“Waves,” Nicole blinked, staring up at Waverly and her bare arms and the determined look on her face.

 

“Nicole Rayleigh Haught?”

 

Waverly reached into the pocket of her jeans, retrieving Julian’s ring.

 

“Waves?” Nicole said again.

 

“Will you marry me someday?” Waverly smiled, that kind, half-secretive smile, and Nicole found herself speechless and confused and sensing that something was happening, something that she didn’t…

 

“Yes?” Nicole said, unable to say anything else because it was true, it was her truth, _their_ truth.

 

Waverly exhaled and the half-smile turned into a grin.

 

“Good,” she said. She slipped the ring onto her finger and then, without pausing, she ran.

 

Waverly moved so quickly that it took a full second before Nicole knew what she was looking at. She lurched up, bracing herself against the log, unsure whose scream she was hearing. It may have been her own voice or Wynonna’s or both, twisted in an agonized harmony as they watched Waverly run and run and come closer to the ledge of the cursed cliff.

 

It was paralyzing and breathtaking and Nicole felt her legs move, felt herself trying to climb over their temporary shelter, when Waverly turned, mid-run, to look right at her. It was an expression Nicole had seen before, long ago, on a porch in the morning light, mysterious, and beautiful, and Nicole was about to cry out when Waverly leapt.

 

For one brief, astounding moment, Waverly seemed to hover in the air, and Nicole inhaled, holding on, incapable of understanding that Waverly was not on the ground and that Waverly was not on the earth and that Waverly had jumped.

 

And then she fell.

 

As Waverly’s body plummeted from view, Wynonna screamed first and Doc sank to his knees with such force that Nicole felt the vibrations in her feet. But she could not scream, her mouth was open, but no sound came out. She could feel her heart detaching itself from her body, the arteries and veins tearing and scratching and pushing, pushing, against hard bone, trying to follow Waverly, trying to stop, trying to cease its function. She wanted to reach down her throat and help it along, reach in and tear out all the tissue that made her body move and breathe and run. Because she did not need it anymore, she did not need a heart or lungs or blood because Waverly had fallen and Wynonna was screaming, so much screaming, and the wind…the wind…Wynonna was screaming and it was so loud…

 

And then they all heard it. _It_. A sound no creature but one had ever made on earth before.

 

_Fwoosh_

 

Wynonna’s hand curled around Nicole’s wrist and Doc slowly came to his feet.

 

_Fwoosh_

 

It came again.

 

Waverly appeared slowly, first her head, her honey-brown hair shining in the light.

 

_Fwoosh_

 

She rose and as she did, they could just make out the first sign of what was carrying her, what was holding her on the wind. Nicole’s gasped and fell, her body crashing hard into Wynonna who was leaning over the log, eyes red with tears and awe.

 

Waverly’s wings seemed to embrace the air, to mold it, to catch it so Waverly could hover for a moment, her feet dangling high over the cliff’s edge. The membranous arches from her shoulder blades fanned out into feathers, each so white as to redefine the very meaning of whiteness. A whiteness that had never known dark. A whiteness that made Nicole squint and her eyes tear.

 

“Holy shit she popped an angel boner,” Wynonna whispered and it broke Nicole’s dazed reverie so harshly that she laughed, a strangled, half-sob laugh.

 

“By the grace of all that is holy, never in my years…” Doc pressed his hat to his chest and Nicole could see the tears in his eyes too.

 

“This is really no time to find religion, John Henry,” Wynonna said, standing and watching.

 

Nicole did the same, her eyes unable to leave the sight of Waverly floating high above them. Waverly reached out with both arms, tilting herself forward, and Nicole could tell that Waverly was testing herself, testing her wings, because seconds later, she began to glide downwards towards Willa, a blur of motion that moved so quickly that not even Willa knew what happened when seconds later, Waverly’s body catapulted into Willa, driving her into the mountainside.

 

“Guys, we need to go!” Nicole watched helplessly as Waverly grappled with Willa, as the mountain cracked under the force of Waverly’s descent and Willa’s body.

 

“Right!” Wynonna said and Doc cleared his throat and set his hat atop his head.

 

“Wynonna, do you think you can get down there with Doc in the truck?” Nicole could see the remains of a gravel road cut into the hills.

 

“Maybe? But what about Waverly?”

 

“I’m on it.”

 

“Haught, what…”

 

Nicole ran to her car, retrieving her climbing gear before Wynonna could finish her sentence. She climbed into the harness, quickly fastening it around her hips.

 

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this,” Wynonna said, her face dark with memory. But they didn’t have time for memories. Waverly was fighting a demon and the Ghost River Triangle was about to be turned into hell on earth.

 

“I know,” Nicole said, securing her rope to the bumper of her car, “but Wynonna, this isn’t Dolls again. It’s not.”

 

Wynonna helped Nicole with her backpack and then stood back as Doc ran to the truck. Dr. Murray had said _together_. And here they were, at the end of the world, together, united for Waverly, for their champion, for their light.

 

“Go get our girl,” Wynonna said.

 

“Damn right, I will.”

 

And then they turned, each set to their own tasks.

 

~*~

 

Nicole had been here before. She’d been on this cliff, climbing downward, she remembered reaching for Peacemaker and then the horrible feel of the rope slipping.

 

But that day was not this day. On this day, she climbed as fast as her body was able, clinging to the rockface as the wind and debris brushed past her body. She could hear Willa’s voice, an endless opera on the air, and occasionally, she could make out Waverly too. Not speaking. Not saying words. But releasing her own symphony of noise – growling, yelling, grunting – frustration and triumph and fear all wrapped in desperation.

 

Nicole’s fingers dug into the earth, she could feel dirt beneath her fingernails, and she could hear Dr. Murray’s voice in her head: _the sky and the earth, older than time itself_. Nicole turned briefly, looking at Waverly, watching as the woman she loved hovered over the ground, her wings illuminating the world around her in colourless grandeur, and she was overcome with calm.

 

She reached the bottom of the cliff, landing hard, but her boots felt the comfort of the solid earth and she did not hesitate. Nicole quickly stepped out of the harness, dropping her backpack on the ground next to the tangled equipment, and pulled out two hatchets. She left her gun, knowing somehow that it would not be necessary, and then just as Waverly had done, Nicole started running.

 

Her knee screamed, the bruising from the earlier in the day accentuating each and every flex of her leg, but she did not stop, she couldn’t. The ground beneath her feet shook, and the closer she ran to Waverly, the more she found herself hopping over tree roots and trying to avoid their snapping clutches. From the corner of her eye, she could see dust in the distance, dust that meant Wynonna and Doc were on their way. Nicole had a job to do and a bruised knee and a bandaged head were not going to keep her from her work.

 

The sword rumbled in a nest of roots, sinking and rising as they writhed and undulated from the womb of the earth. Nicole swung the axe in her left hand at the snapping branches, striking the roots, and the land shrieked in response.

 

“Unnatural fiend!” Willa screamed, her focus off of Waverly.

 

Waverly thrust forward with one hand, sending Willa flying backwards.

 

“Hey babe!” She called, her wings flexing again, taking her higher in the air.

 

Nicole swung her right arm, breaking the tangled root wrapping around her ankle.

 

“Hey, Waves!”

 

With each swing of her axes, the tree roots beneath her feet arched and cried, shooting sap and sludge in their wake. But the sword remained out of reach, no matter how often Nicole hacked at the writhing wood beneath her feet.

 

The thicket snapped at her, tentacled branches grasped at her legs and her arms, but she did not stop pushing forward, she did not stop even when the bandage on her forehead slipped and blood dripped into her eye. She needed the sword. She needed the sword because Wynonna needed the sword and this time she was going to get it, this time she wouldn’t let anyone down, this time would be like with Dolls, this time…

 

Waverly screamed.

 

Nicole stumbled mid-swing and looked up, horrified to see Willa wrapped around Waverly’s body, her nails drawing blood from Waverly’s biceps.

 

“Let her go!” Nicole screamed, but Willa ducked her head and bit deeply into Waverly’s neck.

 

 _The sky and the earth, older than time itself_.

 

As if summoned by Waverly’s blood, the roots rose upwards, curling around Waverly’s ankles, pulling her down, down and Nicole could see the strain on her wings, how they tried to keep her skyward, keep her from the abyss again…

 

Waverly felt the pull, she seemed to realize what was happening, and she screamed, a horrible, fear filled scream. The garden summoned her, the garden wanted her, the garden would have her again.

 

Nicole didn’t think before dropping her axes and reaching up, grasping for Willa’s feet. She planted her boots, grateful to find her footing amongst the uneven ground and reached, making contact with the rags of Willa’s gown first. She pulled as hard as she could, hard enough to dislodge Willa’s grasp on Waverly for a second, but it was long enough to set Waverly free.

 

“Unnatural whore!” Willa bellowed, but before Nicole could respond, Waverly moved her arms, gracefully flicking her hand. Willa flew backwards.

 

“Don’t talk about my fiancée that way!” Waverly huffed and then tried to fly up again, but the trees nipped at her feet, trapping her.

 

Nicole jumped, hacking at the branches holding Waverly, furiously wheeling her arm again and again until she heard the resounding crack of wood breaking.

 

“You’re free, babe!” Nicole yelled and the smile Waverly shot her in response was nearly as blinding as her wings.

 

The sword moved further and further away and as Nicole followed, she could see the source of the tree roots, the great, yawning void where the earth had spewed forth its unholy offspring. That’s where the sword was going, that’s where it was called. Back into darkness, swallowed whole. Because the Garden wanted the sword, it wanted to consume it before the sword could unleash its sacred fire. And Nicole was all that stood in the way of the abyss finding its meal.

 

Branches tore at Nicole’s jacket. Somewhere she lost her toque. But she did not take her eye from the sword, even as the roots twisted around her legs and her waist. She crawled forward, swimming in a sea of slivers and spiders. She could smell putrefying fruit and her knees were slick with the juices of rotten apples.

 

“C’mon, c’mon,” she chanted to herself, forced onto her stomach by the pressure of the roots. She could see bark rising at the centre, the beginnings of a stump, and she let go of her ax so she could use both hands to pull herself forward.

 

The sword was so close, she could see its pummel and she reached, stretching her fingers, gritting her teeth, willing herself to get closer…

 

A shadow fell over her and then a piercing shriek deafened her and before she could move to protect herself, Willa descended.

 

Willa’s fingers nails were sharp against her cheek. They slit the skin and Nicole turned on her back, struggling against the captor vines around her legs and hips, howling in pain at the sudden burn of blood and sweat. Willa clawed at Nicole’s chest, a sick bird, a deranged moth, all darkness and jagged edges, and Nicole fought against her as best she could as the trees tightened around her limbs. Willa’s mouth was crowded with splinters, shards of teeth and glass and the tongue that hissed from her throat was forked, a hideous muscle twisting on its way to Nicole’s face to suck the blood from the wounds she’d inflicted.

 

“You…never…told…me…you…were…..a gay,” Nicole panted, trying to kick her legs, trying to move anything to get away from Willa’s bloody grasp.

 

Willa responded with a hiss and then a groan and it took Nicole a moment to realize that a bullet had whizzed through the air and landed firmly in Willa’s left shoulder.

 

“Doc!” Nicole turned her head, elated as she saw Doc and Wynonna run from the truck. Waverly appeared then too, clearly dazed, but determined as she swooped down with a raised fist.

 

“Hold onto her,” Nicole yelled, wrapping her arms around Willa’s middle.

 

It was like holding a bag of asps, but Waverly understood, her hands gripping Willa’s shoulders and a knee pressing into Willa’s back.

 

The weight of Willa and Waverly and the tree roots made it hard for Nicole to breathe, but she was buying Wynonna time, she was buying them all time, and she forced a smile for Waverly.

 

Willa reared up, but Waverly pushed her back down, and Nicole locked her arms around Willa’s back, comforted by the feel of Waverly so close to her. The wings shielded her from the sun, all she could see was Willa’s red eyes and beyond, the white feathers, and she listened to Wynonna’s boots against the ground and the creak and crack of the tree roots and she tried her best to keep breathing.

 

“I got it, I got it!” Wynonna was yelling and Nicole could just see Wynonna crawling towards the sword, arms out, Doc by her side, fighting off violent branches with a machete.

 

The sound of Wynonna’s hand finding Peacemaker’s hilt was shattering, the mountains bellowed in response, and the blue flame that spewed from the sword brought hope to Nicole’s heart.

 

They could do this. They were so close.

 

Nicole doubled her efforts, refusing to let the tree roots pull her under, refusing to let Willa get away. Her arms screamed in protest, she could feel her muscles coming apart, but she would not let Waverly down. She held Willa to her, to the earth, and Willa was bound there by Nicole’s mortal strength and Waverly’s divine justice. Nicole felt dizzy, her ribs bruised as Willa continued to thrash. The blood in her eyes made it increasingly difficult to see, so instead Nicole listened to the perfect sound of Wynonna’s boots running, running, closer and closer and closer.

 

“Willa sandwich?” Wynonna asked, standing above them.

 

“Festering slut!” Willa yelled, pushing and pulling against Waverly and Nicole, kicking her legs and hissing and spitting black bile onto Wynonna’s jacket.

 

“She’s not Willa,” Waverly said, “I’m not sure she ever was.”

 

The sisters shared a look, no more than half a second, and then Wynonna nodded once, tears shimmering on her eyelashes.

 

“You’re the smart one, angel pants,” she said, raising the sword. With a single flap of her wings, Waverly rose, just as Nicole released her grip on Willa, leaving Willa’s body vulnerable.

 

Wynonna’s aim was true. The glowing blade sunk firmly between Willa’s shoulder blades, slitting skin and bone and muscle. Willa screamed and shook and it was only belatedly that Nicole realized she could feel something sharp against her chest, as Peacemaker’s tip scratched her skin.

 

“Wynonna!” Willa yelled out, shaking and turning, crawling from Nicole’s body with the sword firmly pierced through her chest.

 

The air stilled, the noise silenced, and as Waverly lowered herself to the ground, even the twisted roots of the tree seemed to pause.

 

“Thank you,” Willa whispered, her voice her own again, and then she disappeared, her body shattering into millions of black specks of dust and ash and bone.

 

“Wynonna, now!” Doc’s voice broke the solemnity of the scene, but it was Waverly who retrieved the sword from the dust of Willa’s corpse.

 

“Finish it, Wynonna,” she said and Wynonna held the flaming blue sword again, tears streaming down her face. The Champion nodded once at the Guardian. The Guardian understood her errand.

 

Wynonna carried Peacemaker to the centre of the tree roots, to where a stump was rising from the earth, and with one final thrust of the sword, she stabbed the tree, penetrating its bark, imbedding Peacemaker down to the pummel in its trunk.

 

The stillness that followed was almost more frightening than the chaotic fight moments ago. The earth, before a yawning chasm, ceased its rumbling. It closed around the roots and the tree, turning the ground into a ridged maze that would someday be covered in grass and flower blossoms. The trunk shook once and then before their very eyes it began to fossilize, the wood turned to stone, curving around Peacemaker’s blade, holding it forever in place. The Guardian had returned The Guard. The Garden was lost to earth forever.

 

The sky was so blue. Even though Nicole found herself suddenly free of the wooden prison, she remained on her back, staring up at the clouds and smelling the air. Rain was on the way. Not yet, but soon. There was birdsong too and she knew that the wind and the rain would cleanse the valley, taking it with it the scent of rot and decay.

 

She pushed herself up, blinking blood from her eyes, and slowly, her companions made their way to her.

 

First Waverly, who crouched on the ground and pulled Nicole into a tight hug. She cradled Nicole’s body against her and Nicole settled against Waverly’s chest, legs sprawled beneath her, breathing Waverly in, grateful for the sound of Waverly’s heartbeat against her ear.

 

And then Wynonna was there too, next to Waverly, on her knees, reaching out with one hand for Nicole. Doc came up behind them, a strong hand on Wynonna’s shoulder.

 

Waverly pulled Nicole and Wynonna closer, until all four of them were piled against each other in the corpse of a dying tree. Nicole knew she was getting blood on Waverly’s chest, she could feel Waverly shaking from the cold, but she didn’t move, she held on tighter, her grip on Wynonna’s leather jacket an anchor to the world.

 

Waverly curled her wings, cocooning them all in safety and warmth and impossibility. And love. Mostly love. 

 

It was done. They were alive. And they were together.

 

Alice could come home.


	10. Chapter 10

“Okay, partner, you ready?” Nicole looked down at her accomplice and did her best to hide her grin.

 

Alice Michelle was wide-eyed and excited, her little hands pressed to her face and it was all Nicole could do not to scoop up the little girl from her bed and spin her around.

 

“I ready!”

 

“So when I go out the window…”

 

“I yell!” Alice’s dark curls bounced and Nicole playfully leaned over with her pinky finger raised.

 

“You excited, sweet girl?”

 

“Yeah!” Alice reached up, wrapping her much smaller finger around Nicole’s. They shook once, both becoming serious, and then the smiles returned because Alice’s energy was infectious and Nicole already felt the adrenaline pulsing through her body.

 

“Alright, Alice, I’m going to see you tomorrow.”

 

Before Nicole could move, Alice lunged forward, wrapping her little pyjama clad arms around Nicole’s neck.

 

“Love you, Auntie Nicole,” she said with the confidence of a child who knew she was deeply loved by all who knew her.

 

“Love you too, my little one.” Nicole playfully kissed Alice’s cheek, making the girl laugh, and then crossed the room. She lingered in the window for a moment, carefully positioning herself on the ledge before raising one finger to her mouth to indicate that it was time to be quiet.

 

Alice nodded in understanding, her tiny body vibrating with excitement.

 

Nicole looked across the yard and could just see Wynonna sitting on the Homestead porch, a large rifle resting across her knees. From her perch on the second story barn window, Nicole shuffled onto the ladder she’d left in position. She took a deep steadying breath and then gave Alice a nod. The girl reacted immediately.

 

“MAMA!!!!”

 

Nicole waited for the sound of steps in the barn and then ducked out of sight.

 

“Alice Michelle, whatever is it?”

 

There was Gus. Nicole held her breath.

 

“I want Mama!” Alice insisted.

 

“Mama is busy, Alice, it’s time for bed.” Gus was always pragmatic and logical, but Nicole could hear the underlying affection in her voice. She wondered briefly if that was how Gus had raised Waverly too.

 

A second set of footsteps sounded in the barn and Nicole knew by the noise that Doc was heading upstairs.

 

“Little Darlin’, whatever is the matter?”

 

“Daddy, I need Mama!”

 

Nicole felt slightly guilty that she’d lied to Doc. He had given up his little cabin at the edge of the property so she had a place to stay for the night, but here she was hanging out of his daughter’s window, very much _not_ using his house.

 

“Surely we can remedy this,” Doc said. There was silence for a moment and Nicole winced. Alice was only three. This was a big task for her.

 

“No. Mama. NOW.”

 

“Alice…”

 

“ _Mama_!”

 

The scream was ear-piercing, and Nicole grit her teeth. It was slightly worrisome that Alice was so good at acting, but she was the daughter of a famous gambler and the most dramatic pain in the ass on earth – Nicole was grateful for her niece’s talents.

 

As if on cue, Nicole looked to her left and saw Wynonna stand from the porch. Nicole pressed herself more closely to the wall, hoping to make herself invisible.

 

Wynonna carried the rifle with her, but as she crossed the yard, Nicole could see she was mumbling to herself.

 

“On my way, Squishy!”

 

It was almost time. Nicole took a deep breath and waited. Wynonna came closer and closer to the barn and as soon as Nicole heard the door swing open, she leapt from the ladder and sprinted across the yard.

 

The night was dark and she kept to the outskirts of the property. She circled the house, thankful that the window to their room didn’t face the barn, and then she paused, straining to hear if Wynonna was on her way back. It was quiet, the only sound was the wind and Nicole’s heartbeat.

 

The light was on upstairs. Nicole gazed towards her bedroom window and then reached for the second ladder she had left on the ground a few days before. She scurried up, trying her best to do so silently, and when she reached the window, she gave herself a triumphant, silent pat on the back.

 

Nicole knocked once and then again, smiling in anticipation, but when the window cracked open a second later, she found herself staring down the barrel of a double shotgun.

 

“Do not even try to…Nicole?”

 

Waverly’s eyes widened in surprise and then horror, as she wheeled around, darting behind the bed.

 

“You can’t see me! This is terrible luck!” She yelled.

 

Nicole climbed the rest of the way into the room, trying to still her racing heart.

 

“Wait, I can explain…”

 

“Nicole Haught you are in such big trouble!” Waverly was still hiding and Nicole circled the bed and laughed when her fiancée curled into ball and rolled over.

 

“Waverly! Do you really think our wedding is going to go smoothly tomorrow?”

 

“What?” Waverly stilled.

 

“Your mom is going to bust in…or my mom is going to bust in…or a werewolf is going to run off with the cake, so I thought we could at least have tonight to ourselves!”

 

Waverly dropped the shotgun still in her hands and stood up. It was only then that Nicole realized that her soon-to-be wife was wearing a fairly flimsy silk robe. And nothing else.

 

“That’s actually really smart,” Waverly said, tilting her head in thought.

 

“Right?” Nicole chanced taking a step closer.

 

“But how did you get past Wynonna?”

 

“Umm…Alice?”

 

Waverly’s eyes widened and Nicole found herself wanting to duck and cover.

 

“You used our niece?”

 

“Sort of?”

 

“Our sweet, innocent, baby?” Waverly was clearly trying not to laugh and Nicole chanced a step closer.

 

“It’s for the greater good,” she said, reaching out for Waverly’s hips.

 

“And how did you get in the room?”

 

“Ladders,” Nicole wrapped her arms around Waverly’s waist and pulled her close, but Waverly leaned back, resting two fists against Nicole’s chest.

 

“Nicole Haught, that is a True Crime no-no!”

 

“A True Crime what now?”

 

“You can’t leave ladders hanging around! That’s how home intruders get in.”

 

“I know,” Nicole reasoned, swaying Waverly a little, “but Wynonna set up all those new charms on the property – and there are a lot of guns around here, which, by the way, did not expect a shotgun in the face in my plans for tonight.”

 

Waverly settled slightly, easing into Nicole’s touch.

 

“Oh, big plans, Sheriff?”

 

“Huge,” Nicole pressed her forehead to Waverly’s.

 

“You ready for tomorrow?” Waverly’s voice was quiet and high and Nicole was struck by the sudden calmness of the room. Seconds before Waverly’s energy had filled the space, but now it was soothing and dark and safe. Just the two of them. Lamplight cast the room in yellow, but the corners were shadowy and still.

 

“It’s been a very long engagement,” Nicole said.

 

“A whole year.”

 

“I’m so ready, baby. Beyond ready.”

 

Waverly tilted her face upwards, meeting Nicole’s lips with her own.

 

They kissed slowly, languidly, enjoying the feel of each other, luxuriating in the comfort and familiarity.

 

When Waverly pulled back, she did so with a smirk on her face.

 

“Okay, Sheriff Haught, what was the big plan here? Break into our house and then…”

 

Nicole shrugged, unwilling to release her hold on Waverly.

 

“I just wanted to be with you before the crazy of tomorrow.”

 

“I really missed you today,” Waverly confessed. It made Nicole feel warm inside.

 

“I missed you too.”

 

“Gross.”

 

“So gross.”

 

Waverly’s eyes widened and she wiggled in Nicole’s arms.

 

“I have an idea!”

 

“Oh?” Nicole said, completely charmed by Waverly’s sudden enthusiasm.

 

“Okay, I read about this in a book, but we need to get naked!”

 

Waverly reached for the knot of her robe and unceremoniously stripped.

 

“Umm…wow…” Nicole swallowed hard, eyeing Waverly up and down.

 

“Haught, concentrate. Lose the clothes.”

 

“Okay, okay,” Nicole said, starting with her shoes. She kicked her sneakers half-way across the room and then Waverly lost patience and started pulling at Nicole’s shirt and her jeans and they both began giggling at how unromantic the whole situation had become.

 

When Nicole was naked, Waverly lightly pushed her towards the bed, and once Nicole was lying down, Waverly crawled across her body, taking up her spot on the left side.

 

They shared the bed every night. It was _their_ bed, down to the new blue comforter and blue bonus blanket Waverly had purchased when Nicole moved in. But tonight felt different, special. It felt like they were on the cusp of something amazing and Nicole luxuriated in the nervous excitement of the evening.

 

“Wait, how long do you think we have?” Waverly asked. Nicole rolled over, settling between Waverly’s legs and moving down just a little so she could kiss between Waverly’s breasts.

 

“Well, Alice may be forcing your sister to let her sleep in the big bed tonight…”

 

“Are you serious?”

 

“Yes?” Nicole ran her hands up Waverly’s legs and kissed a sharp hip bone. She could feel Waverly against her, how her middle pressed into Nicole’s side, and it all felt so safe and special and perfect.

 

“Okay, so you think we have all night?” Waverly pushed herself up on her elbows, looking down at Nicole.

 

“Mmmhmm.”

 

“Awesome!” Without another word, Waverly pulled Nicole up and rolled them both, pinning Nicole to the mattress. She straddled Nicole’s hips and then reached over for the ring on a side table.

 

“Ooof, Babe,” Nicole groaned, as Waverly’s knee dug into her stomach.

 

“Sorry, sorry, just have to…okay.” Waverly slipped Julian’s ring onto her finger, next to the sparkler Nicole had bought a few months before. It had cost two months’ worth of Nicole’s salary, but Waverly deserved a diamond, Waverly deserved all the diamonds, so Nicole had no regrets.

 

“So, I know tomorrow is our wedding and we’ve been writing vows, but do you maybe want to say some vows right now? Private vows? Just for you and me?”

 

Waverly was blushing and Nicole sat up, wrapping her arms around Waverly’s middle to calm her.

 

“You read about this in a book?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Was the main character wearing a kilt?”

 

“Maybe?”

 

“Well it sounds perfect,” Nicole said.

 

“Okay, but we have to be our true selves. That’s why we have to be naked,” Waverly nodded along with her words, but Nicole raised an eyebrow.

 

“Our true selves?”

 

“Like no barriers, nothing holding us back.”

 

“Got it.”

 

Nicole waited and Waverly seemed to make a decision when she lowered her head, took a deep breath, and then…

_Fwoosh_

 

The wings still brought Nicole to tears. She’d read it was a natural response – that humans wept at the sight of angels, but Nicole wondered if they’d ever become mundane to her, if she ever would stop feeling awe and wonder and omnipresent love. She still wasn’t quite sure how the wings appeared, how she would blink and then they’d just _be_. But sitting in bed with Waverly on her lap, surrounded by the gentle curve of Waverly’s wings, Nicole was overwhelmed all over again.

 

“You okay?” Waverly asked softly, taking Nicole’s hands. She played with the ring on Nicole’s finger, the simple silver ban that held a small sapphire stone and a small garnet.

 

“You are so beautiful,” Nicole said, tears freely falling from her eyes.

 

The wings curled around her, she could feel feathers against her back, and the softness was unspeakable. It was safety like Nicole had never known. Safety and warmth and home. She was home in a way she didn’t know was possible. Every part of her wanted to crawl off the bed, to drop to her knees, to worship, forever and ever to worship. But she also knew that she’d feel that way even if Waverly didn’t have wings. Even if Waverly wasn’t an angel.

 

“Nicole Haught,” Waverly said, forcing Nicole to sniffle and calm herself, “I really, really love you. And I promise to always love you and take care of you. To feed you vegan scones and to come to the hospital every time you end up in the ER.”

 

“So once a month,” Nicole smiled and Waverly shook her head.

 

“If we have kids, I promise to be the best mom to your babies. And I promise to celebrate every birthday and soothe every nightmare. I promise to be the person you come home to at the end of the day and I promise to always be your little spoon.”

 

Nicole felt her tears return. She was marrying Waverly Earp. Waverly Earp was sitting naked in her lap and she was _marrying Waverly Earp_. That girl she’d heard about for so long. That girl who was light and joy and kindness. The girl who’d spilled beer all over herself and laughed and shrugged and then blushed. Waverly Earp.

 

“I promise to love you until you’re old and grey and I promise to tell you that I love you as often as I can and if not in words, then in actions. Because I love you. I really, really do,” Waverly smiled a watery smile and Nicole nodded at her and tried to gather her own thoughts.

 

“Waverly Earp,” she said. Waverly straightened a little and playfully wiggled her eyebrows in expectation.

 

“I promise to always be your getaway car. To take you to flea markets and estate sales, even when our knees go bad and you need help seeing the price tags,” Nicole smiled as Waverly laughed.

 

“I promise to love this land like you love this land and I promise to celebrate every single one of your achievements, no matter how big or how small, because I always notice and I will always notice and I will always be proud. I promise to tell you stories and tuck you in at night and bring you vegan soup when you feel sick. And I promise to encourage that beautiful brain of yours, wherever it may take us.”

 

Waverly bit her lip, but Nicole pushed on.

 

“If we have babies, I promise to protect them and love them and change their diapers so you can sleep in the middle of the night. And I promise to love your sister and Alice because they are as much a part of you as your perfect heart. I promise to be your bonus blanket. Forever. Because I love you, Waverly. I really, really do.”

 

“Oh my God, come here,” Waverly pulled Nicole’s face to hers and kissed her hard. Nicole smiled into the kiss when she felt Waverly’s hands find the back of her head, when Waverly’s fingers started tugging lightly at her hair.

 

Waverly’s thumbs found the new scars on Nicole’s cheek, stroking them, learning them, and Nicole breathed into the kiss. It was Waverly that pulled away first, Waverly whose lips found the marks left by Willa’s claws.

 

“You sure you don’t mind them?” Nicole asked.

 

“They’re so sexy, baby,” Waverly leaned back, still holding Nicole’s face.

 

“And the other one?”

 

Nicole heard the _fwoosh_ once more and blinked rapidly as the wings disappeared. They still weren’t sure how it worked, it was still always sudden and slightly alarming, but one minute Waverly would have wings and the next there would be no sign they ever existed. Wynonna assured them that Charlie was the same way, that his body showed no indication that he had a secret set of angel body parts, but they all agreed it was best never to speak of how Wynonna knew that intimate information.

 

Waverly tossed her father’s ring onto the bed-side table and then pushed lightly on Nicole’s shoulders, lowering her to the bed, and Nicole happily obliged.

 

“I mean it, Nicole, you’re…beyond.”

 

Wynonna’s blade had left a one-inch scar, just above Nicole’s breasts in the centre of her chest. They’d all walked away from the battle scarred, but Nicole had taken the brunt of the physical injuries. The scars on her face had faded, but the sword’s mark would likely remain forever raised and pink. Nicole joked that it was Wynonna’s final act of vengeance for Nicole stealing away her baby sister. But it also linked her forever to an angel and the guardian and the tree. They were one.

 

They settled against each other, Waverly stretched out over Nicole’s body, and each kiss and touch was slow and sweet. The evening was borrowed time, it was extra, unplanned, stolen. They greedily embraced it.

 

“Do you really think my mom is going to show up?” Waverly kissed Nicole’s shoulder and stroked her fingers across Nicole’s ribs.

 

“It’s an Earp wedding. Anything is possible.”

 

“Or your mom?”

 

Nicole tensed slightly and Waverly made soft, cooing noises.

 

“She’d love the house. And the veganism. But she’d hate my outfit,” Nicole tried to keep the bitterness from her voice but failed.

 

“Has she seen you in your dress blues? I honestly don’t know how I’m going to make it through the ceremony.”

 

“Speaking of…how’s the dress?” Nicole smiled when Waverly’s eyes darted to the closed closet door.

 

“Nope. No way. Not a _hint_!”

 

“Not one? Is it white?”

 

“Don’t be a butt head, Nicole Haught!” Waverly tickled Nicole’s armpit and she squirmed.

 

“You could wear a paper bag and make it work…” Nicole laughed and Waverly smiled down, indulgent.

 

“Was it like this the first time?” She asked.

 

“What?”

 

“Your first wedding?” Waverly winced as soon as the words left her mouth.

 

“Oh shit, Nicole, sorry, sorry, that was…shit…I shouldn’t have sai …”

 

“Hey,” Nicole reached for Waverly’s face, “it’s okay. You know you can ask me anything.”

 

“But tonight of all nights?”

 

“It’s only natural to be curious, Babe.”

 

Waverly flopped down on top of Nicole, groaning into Nicole’s shoulder. It made Nicole laugh and feel warm all at the same time. Because Waverly was soft and smooth and fit so well in her arms.

 

“There wasn’t really a night before,” Nicole said, dragging her fingers down Waverly’s spine, “we were drunk, high on Britney…”

 

“High on anything else?” Waverly asked.

 

“ _Maybe_?”

 

Waverly pinched Nicole’s hip.

 

“Same-sex marriage had just come in and I knew it would piss off my parents so…” Nicole shrugged, feeling very little towards her first wedding. She didn’t regret it, it had been an important moment in her life, but it factored very little in her day to day existence.

 

“Did it?”

 

“Oh, the fact that I got married in a Church of Elvis? You better believe it.”

 

“Hmmm.”

 

“Pretty sure I was in jeans and a Britney shirt and she was in an _I Love Vegas_ hoodie. A Lisa Marie impersonator walked me down the aisle…”

 

“Nedley is definitely a step up,” Waverly said, still a little sullen.

 

“Hey,” Nicole tangled her fingers in Waverly’s hair, “are you upset about it?”

 

“No…not upset…a little jealous maybe? I just hate that she’s seen you naked.” Waverly’s little pout made Nicole smile.

 

“No one else will ever see me naked again if that helps?”

 

Waverly tilted her head in thought, her fingers tracing the scar on Nicole’s chest.

 

“You make me very possessive and jealous and I cannot be held accountable for my actions,” Waverly said.

 

Nicole chose not to express how excited that made her, how much Waverly’s occasional jealous fits could be both frustrating and affirming. Because Waverly wanted her, she wanted Nicole bad enough to fight for her, and the knowledge made Nicole a little light headed.

 

“Tomorrow is nothing like before, it’s…Waverly this feels big and it feels real. This is forever,” Nicole whispered. She swept her hand gently along Waverly’s back, holding her close to her side.

 

“Forever,” Waverly’s eyes darkened and Nicole nodded. With each pass of her hand, Nicole could feel how excited Waverly was becoming, she could feel how slick Waverly was making her thigh, but she said nothing, instead enjoying the slow burn of the night. If Waverly was possessive, Nicole was beginning to feel marked, especially as Waverly started to move her pelvis, barely, against Nicole’s leg.

 

“Should we…practice…for tomorrow night?” Nicole barely finished her thought before Waverly lowered her face to Nicole’s chest and sucked gently on one nipple.

 

“Did you think about me all day?” Waverly asked, her mouth leaving wet, wanting stains on Nicole’s skin.

 

“Yeah…uh huh…”

 

“And did you really plan for tonight just to be cuddles and conversations?”

 

“I don’t…”

 

Waverly’s fingers drifted from Nicole’s tummy to just below her navel.

 

“You’ve been very bad, Sheriff Haught. Conspiring with our baby…”

 

“She’s three!” Nicole tried to argue, but Waverly was dragging her finger from one of Nicole’s hips to the other and it was becoming difficult to form words.

 

“You know, when we first met, I wondered if you were a natural redhead?” Waverly moved her hand lower, tugging gently at the trimmed auburn hair between Nicole’s leg.

 

“ _Jesus_.”

 

“Used to think about all the time. During my shift at Shortie’s. Anytime I saw you. I’d just start to think about what you looked like…here,” Waverly kissed Nicole’s chest again and then slipped one finger to rest on Nicole’s clit.

 

“Waverly…”

 

“And then once I’d tasted you…you drive me crazy, Nicole, do you know that?”

 

Everything in Nicole was telling her to grapple Waverly onto the bed, to turn her over, to take her, but she also knew that Waverly’s newfound confidence came with certain perks. Instead, Nicole spread her legs, eagerly, wantonly, and Waverly licked her lips, eyes blazing a trail from Nicole’s face and down to where her hand rested against Nicole’s heat.

 

“God, the way you look,” Waverly moaned and then Nicole tipped her head backwards become one teasing finger has found its way inside her. Waverly’s thumb circled Nicole’s clit and it would have been so easy to lie back and give in. So easy. But Nicole could still feel Waverly against her, she could still feel how soaked Waverly had made her thigh, and she was greedy.

 

Lowering the hand on Waverly’s back, Nicole only need to tap Wvaerly’s hip once to give her a hint of what she wanted. Waverly obliged, rising just a little on her knees, enough for Nicole to sneak a hand down.

 

“Your wings don’t make you an angel,” Nicole breathed, teasing Waverly’s entrance, “this makes you an angel.” She pressed inside with two fingers, using the heel of thumb to press up against Waverly’s clit. They both groaned at the contact.

 

Waverly nipped at Nicole’s lips, curling the fingers buried inside her bride and Nicole mimicked her movements, pushing and curling and stroking up until Waverly made that funny little noise she made in the back of her throat.

 

“I’m going to be wet for you tomorrow, under my dress,” Waverly’s voice was rough and dark and Nicole called out _Waverly_ and was rewarded with another thrust and another gush of hot velvet against her fingers.

 

Waverly rocked back and forth on her knees, giving Nicole more room to work, giving herself more thrust and Nicole looked down at their bodies, at their hands, and then lifted her head, desperate to take Waverly’s nipple in her mouth. Waverly’s breasts were heavy, they swayed with each movement, and the feel of them against her face was smooth and warm and Nicole felt drunk and so open. The contrast of hot and wet and cool air from the room and blunt nails, and the rough of Waverly’s hair against her palm was overwhelming and all Nicole could do was moan and beg and suck on Waverly’s skin as each thrust brought them closer together.

 

With her free hand, Nicole dragged her fingers along Waverly’s spine, scratching at both shoulder blades in her movements, and Waverly reared up, straddling Nicole’s thigh as she rode Nicole’s fingers, rocking herself over and over as she moved her own hand, speeding her strokes, bringing Nicole to the precipice so quickly that Nicole squeezed her thighs shut over Waverly’s hand.

 

Waverly moved up and down and up once more and then she lowered herself hard, and the sight of her spilling into Nicole’s palm made Nicole plant both feet on the bed and let go. She closed her eyes and let herself fall into the dark star scape, the heady, impossible, everything that was her and Waverly and their love.

 

She was vaguely aware of Waverly moving. She was vaguely aware of sweat and she could smell sex and Waverly’s body wash and then Waverly’s lips were light against her throat.

 

“We’re getting married tomorrow,” Waverly said, her voice hoarse, but undeniably filled with happiness.

 

“We’re getting married _today_ ,” Nicole responded, her blurry vision clearing enough to make out the clock on the wall. It was midnight.

 

Waverly kissed Nicole’s chest and her cheeks and her shoulders until they were both breathing more steadily.

 

“Can you stay? Even if my sister tries to shoot you in the morning?” Waverly had already curled into Nicole’s side.

 

“She’s already stabbed me, what’s a little gunshot wound?”

 

They settled together on the mattress, enjoying the cool air and the peaceful night and each other. In a few hours, the Homestead would be bustling with activity. There were guests to come and food to serve and rings to exchange. But for now, they were cocooned in their bedroom, in their bed, together, safe, untouched by the outside and its dangers.

 

Nicole turned, wanting to see Waverly’s face, wanting to look at her soon-to-be-wife and remember her like this. Young and vibrant and impossibly beautiful.

 

And that’s when they heard the rifle blast outside the window.

 

“Nicole Haught! Show yourself, Romeo!”

 

“Oh shit!” Nicole leapt from the bed, landing in a crouched position by the floor.

 

They could hear Wynonna hollering and Alice’s voice, smaller, but no less clear in the night.

 

“Run, Auntie Nicole, _RUN!_ ”

 

Nicole hopped into her jeans and tossed on her shirt and was desperately trying to pull on her sneakers when she noticed Waverly quickly dressing too.

 

“What are you doing?” She asked, watching as Waverly wiggled into a PPD sweatshirt and a pair of tights.

 

“What does it look like? We’ve got to go! Woman with a gun!” Waverly gestured to the window.

 

“Wait, you’re coming with me?”

 

The look Waverly shot Nicole was so incredulous that Nicole immediately felt silly for asking.

 

“Of course I am, silly! Now get that sweet ass out the window!”

 

Waverly grabbed for the ring on the bedside table and followed Nicole down the ladder. They were both giggling as the descended, still high on sex and excitement and the pure joy of being together.

 

“Red, I will end you!” Wynonna’s yells echoed off the mountains and Nicole started running, pounding the hard dirt as she headed towards Doc’s cabin.

 

She could hear Waverly beside her and then there was the now familiar _fwoosh_ and Waverly temporarily disappeared from sight.

 

“No fair!” Nicole yelled because Waverly was flying, soaring, weaving around the air above her, giggling and laughing and close enough to reach down and run her fingers through Nicole’s hair.

 

Nicole sprinted, the air burning her lungs. All she could see were the stars and Waverly floating above her and the dark, jagged curves of the mountains just beyond.

 

With Waverly’s laughter in her ear and the reassuring graze of Waverly’s fingers in her hair, Nicole ran and ran and ran, the grin on her lips so wide that it made her eyes water. She ran and Waverly flew. The earth and the sky.

 

Nicole’s feet barely touched the ground.  

 

* _Fin*_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for coming with me on this post-season 3 journey. Your comments and encouragement have been the fuel I've needed to continue. Thank you, thank you, thank you. 
> 
> As it is my birthday in a few days, a comment would be the greatest gift. Come hang out with me on Twitter: @WrackWonder

**Author's Note:**

> Title lovingly swiped from Alice Echols' incredible biography of Janis Joplin.
> 
> Welcome everyone! This will be a multi-chapter story. There is no set update schedule, nor do I have any idea how long this will take me. Work is intensely busy and I write whenever I get a spare second, so I do hope you'll be patient with me. As always, your comments are my sunshine (I read them repeatedly on the bad days). So if you like what you're reading, please let me know! If you have comments about what the characters are doing? How it makes you feel? Anything! I love your words.
> 
> Come follow me on Twitter: @WrackWonder
> 
> Thanks again, lovelies!


End file.
